You wanna know why - because I'm. October 31st - that is my date of birth.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Sons of Anarchy’s premiere was great as an action-packed, pulpy joyride, but I was hoping it would improve on the last couple of seasons to get back to where it was when it was an effective drama. I don’t think that’s going to happen. There just seems to be a lot of repetition and never any consequences.
What I did like: Pope’s henchman from Lights Out, Jimmy Smits, Clay telling the club half- truths.
What I didn’t like: Pope or maybe just Harold Perrineau (WALT!) or maybe just because we had a villain like this in season two, the whole reason Pope wants revenge in the first place, Tig, Opie and Jax’s pointless conversation same as Roosevelt reminding Juice about last season aka two weeks ago?, Opie, Tig getting out of his jam like the Sons always get out of jams, Jax’s diary, Gemma taking her son to the pimp she just met, the montage.
Sons used to do great montages, but this one seemed like a Sons paint-by-numbers. Lots of brooding, lots of head shaking and head tilts, blades of hope sprouting between cracks in the concrete, been there done that.
The burning daughter scene was sadistic sure, but was I supposed to feel bad for Tig?  Cause you know he killed Pope’s daughter for zero reason not to mention Opie’s wife back in season one so if they were trying to drum up sympathy it’s not happening from me especially when Tig couldn’t act that scene for shit.

Best line? Tara – “Oh God, now what?” Amen Tara. But my guess is that the Sons are
backed into a corner with seemingly no escape until an unforeseen escape hatch opens up
and nobody gets hurt. I’ve hated Tara. I’ve liked Tara. I hate this Tara. They’ve yo-yoed
her around way too much and her role as the new Gemma is not gonna be something I like. Also why does Tara even love Jax? Because they were sweethearts a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? Her life has turned into eternal misery as soon as they rekindled whatever they once had.
Now that I re-read it sounds like I hated the premiere. That’s not the case. I was just disappointed that a show that used to have depth and quality writing isn’t going to get back
to the level it once was. It happens. See Dexter.

--Candy corn Oreos? Uhhh, I’ll pass.

--Damn I missed the Bravermans. I think about five of us watch it, but Parenthood continues to be one quality show. Amber used to work my nerves, but her little “I’m an adult” now and can deal with getting screwed over by a musician was great. I like Men of a Certain Age Ray Romano on this show. But I just like show no matter what it does. They’re small stories, but written richly and realistically at least as realistically as you’re going to get on television. Solid, solid stuff. And damn I miss Men of a Certain Age.

--I guess there are worse things in the world than a television series of version of Heathers on Bravo, but you're going to have to give me a second, minute, until tomorrow, I'll get back to you.

--Why would I want to watch and tease myself with the first 20 minutes of Homeland? It’s there on Showtime’s website if for some reason you can’t resist the temptation. It returns in all its glory on September 30th.

--Jonathan Banks (Mike from Breaking Bad) as Adam Scott’s dad in Parks and Rec is awesome sauce.

--I mean first that news and then the news that Jim Crane is putting a bullet in Junction Jack?! What a week!

--Can’t wait until we get our Thursday night shows back. The only thing that might cushion the blow if this is Community’s last season is word that Donald Glover is developing a sitcom starring Donald Glover for NBC.

--Writing of Community whoever sent this to Alison Brie deserves a pop culture medal.

--Who could this sentence possibly be describing?
“She makes the astonishing attainable, the exotic easy, and the remarkable, relatable”
Was your first thought Sandra Lee too?! Of course it was. Silly question. Sandra Lee was given another show on Food Network because, well it’s better if you don't think about it, but Sandra’s Restaurant Remakes is coming at ya in October anyway.

--A Where Are They Now? for the cast of Sandlot. Spoiler Alert: They’re not really anywhere.

--Oh you said “don’t amputate your penis” ha ha. My bad. Apparently a guy in Kentucky went in for a circumcision when cancer was discovered in his Kentucky privates. So with the power of the broad language in the medical waiver the doctor decided for amputation because what if he had to wait to tell the guy about the cancer and options and then the guy had to make a whole other appointment and ugh so much red tape. So yeah this is in court because of the medical waiver and the fact the guy is basically illiterate and there’s that whole penis amputation thing going on.

--Of course there’s a Fuddrucker’s/Luby’s combination opening in Pearland. Major fail if they don’t have a Fuddrucker’s burger topped with Luby’s mac and cheese.

--Beatles Stories sounds good to me.

--See now Argentina’s congress has just two weeks remaining in its session so they’re doing real work like declaring its 19th national holiday. That’s what I’m talking about. Eat it Colombia with your paltry 18! By the way, this 19th holiday is in remembrance of the Battle of Tucuman which I’m sure you already know about so no need for me to elaborate. C’mon Argentina one more and you can double the U.S.

--Chrissy Teigen. Vegas. Models. I’m in. Reality show. Eh, still in.

How can you not love these two crazy kids?

--If I had one wish for Saturday Night Live this week it’d be Frank Ocean and his bro John Mayer to do “Pyramids.”

--I can’t remember the last year I enjoyed the men’s tennis slams as much as I did this year. Fantastic stuff.  I didn't even turn the dial when Charlie Palillo talked about tennis.  

--Tom? Tom Colicchio? Is that you?  Eater and those eyes say, "Oh yes, It's me Tom Tom."

--Lattimer from The Program was arrested for, for hoarding dogs? Yeah, that’s about right. 25 dogs were in his mobile home. A mobile home that apparently reeked of urine and doubled as his own little pet adoption center or some such.  If Lattimer didn't run out and lay in the middle of the road before he was arrested then he has disappointed me more than child of mine possibly could.

--Facebook may spawn a lot of sexual offenders, but in Virginia it captured one. Dyllan (two L’s?) Naecher is the sex offender who was wanted in Maryland, but was believed to be somewhere in Tazewell county in Virginia. Samantha Dillow is the girlfriend who was bright enough to “like” the local Tazewell County Sheriff’s Office. Yeah, if only capturing sex offenders was this easy all the time.

--New The xx? Si por favor. @airelav2 has a playlist dubbed “audible ambien” which I love and The xx in general is certainly audible ambien, but this album is a double shot of ambient.  I’m not complaining.

--Lincoln trailer looks about what you'd expect a Lincoln trailer involving Spielberg and Daniel Day-Lewis to look like.


--Honestly what took so long for Feast to come up with an intestinal pretzel?

--I haven’t seen a Piccadilly in years so I’m a little surprised it’s just now filing for bankruptcy. My grandparents used to take me to the one at Gulfgate Mall when you could safely(ish) go to Gulfgate Mall and well before its current revival.

--I don’t know much about Kansas, but it seems like the type of state that has zero problems and can instead focus on the important issues like debating whether Obama should be listed on the November ballot.
S. M. G. D. H.

Questions, comments or if you bought a MacBook Air and now expect to be Apple-napped
by van and initiated in the most disgusting yet innovative ways ever imagined…