I had to get a beeper 'cause my phone is tapped. You better keep your mouth shut 'cause I'm fully strapped.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Loved the look Matt Schaub had on his face on the sidelines after the cracks from Von Miller and Joe Mays. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on his face. Damn that was awesome.

--Well damn Sons of Anarchy. I wanted some consequences, but crap you didn’t have to go off and do Opie like that. Or maybe you did because I can’t wait to see the fallout and war between Jax and Pope.  Jax is finally going to stop tiptoeing around all the chaos surrounding him  Hell no he’s about to go on that scorched earth path. But damn I hate to see Opie leave. Ryan Hurst was outstanding in that role and I hope that’s not the last good role I see him in. Business is picking up and I’m intrigued by Sons for the first time in a while. What doesn’t intrigue me is anytime Gemma is on the screen this season. I have a hard time believing her flip out at Clay sleeping with a prostitute and a harder time understanding why Jimmy Smits likes her so much especially after beating up a good earner.

--“Am I interesting now?” Missed you along the Boardwalk last week Chalky. Good stuff with Chalky and Eli. The Margaret/hospital thing is going to be when I scroll through Twitter only glancing up to make sure I’m not missing Billie Kent. Meg Steedle is kicking the sh** out of that role beyond her lack of clothes. I appreciate Bobby Cannavale’s Gyp Rosetti as well. I just want him to die a slow, torturous death. Thought for sure that gas station kid was gonna regret the whole scale-inch talk.

--Damn I missed me some New Girl. Good stuff out of the gate. The premiere was solid and had Schmidt juggling fire sticks so yeah. The Katie episode was fantastic, but predictably so after we get a line from Schmidt like, “Are you making a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this, prison?” That was probably Schmidt’s highlight that episode as he and Winston got pushed aside (always like when Winston gets pushed aside) for Katie/Jess and Nick/Old Nick. Oh, and Bear Claw. The best part of the short-lived Perfect Couples was that tall drink of water David Walton who is on his way to being a top-notch sitcom pinch-hitter. Good stuff with Jess even if they’re doomed because of their opposing Creed views. Having Arlo Givens from Justified as old Nick was great.
Almost forgot the lovely Parker Posey as a broken shot girl.

Schmidt's best of the rest:

"There's got to be an explanation like he's the Lord of Winterfell."
"We all know you can't handle door knobs."

"That's not a suit, that's what Morgan Freeman was given at the end of Shawshank.  Did a magician die in that?"

--I thought The Mindy Project showed some promise.

--The Saints are 0-3 and the teams that have beaten them have beaten ONLY them.  The last time a team started 0-3 in that type of scenario was 1989.  A little ol' team called the Cowboys.

--Rest easy America Sandra Lee is getting her own self-titled magazine on the shelves later this year. Whew.

--Love Fruit Loops. Vodka, eh I can take it or leave it. Loopy vodka made to taste like the leftover milk from Fruit Loops. Disgusting. No thanks Three Olives.

--Yeah, Awkward should have just left well enough alone after a very solid first season.

--Inbetweeners has its occasional moments like this conversation between class clown hopeful Jay and his dad.
Dad – “You can’t be confident about anything. Insecurity drives a class clown. You gotta remember that.”
Jay – “I know Dad, I’m very insecure.”
Dad – “Good.”

--I caught a little bit of Fox’s halftime show and wow Erin Andrews is even more of a train wreck than I imagined she’d be.

--I’ve never dined and dashed because I have this thing where I feel it necessary to pay for goods and services. Weird huh? Justin Simon was with a few friends at a Waffle House in the Atlanta area the other day and were doing the staggered dine and dash. The 21-year-old was the last to run out. Unfortunately his dash part of the plan led him straight into the path of a pickup truck. So yeah, because dude didn’t want to pay for his scattered, smothered and covered he lost his life.

--Essential reading for dog owners. “My dog: the paradox.”

--The biggest o-fer of the weekend came from the Emmy world, not the baseball world. Mad Men 0-17. Homeland put the nail in the stylish Mad Men coffin by winning Best Drama. Excellent choice. Claire Danes and Damian Lewis winning were also excellent choices.
Modern Family won Best Comedy which is a f’n joke, but Louie and Parks & Rec can’t even get nominated for that award so whatever.

Morena Baccarin.  Always a big winner.

--“It is my desire to have everyone reserve judgment until all the facts and evidence in this investigation have been gathered.”
Yes because it’s not important to not immediately judge anyone who shoots a double amputee who was armed with a ballpoint pen.  Nah...

--Oh you said “flea bath” not “euthanize” oh man, well, uh, funny story…
Don’t be so sad people, the story is about a cat not a dog.

--Oh man hopefully this comes out in time for Christmas - Smash Mouth: Recipes From The Road: A Rock n’ Roll Cookbook. Smash Mouth AND Guy Fieri recipes?! I’m pretty sure this is why God invented ZOMG! Sammy Hagar will also provide some recipes because, well because.

--Olivia Wilde. Stripper. Sold.

--Why wouldn’t you want gators swimming with your children at a pool party?! I mean the gator’s mouth is taped shut so no big deal. Yeah, this is a thing that a guy from Alligator Attractions started offering. Now the Florida Wildlife Commission is looking into it. No word yet on the very much needed Florida Common Sense Commission.

--Colonel’s Bacon Potato Fritters do sound like something you’d find at the State Fair of Texas rather than at KFC Japan.

--It’s hard to find a good Samaritan these days. So Omar Ibrahim had his work cut out for him when he knocked on doors at his apartment complex looking for someone to help him carry this heavy rug. I mean sure the rug was heavy because there was a dead body in it, but nevertheless no one steps up to assist?!

--Sad to hear that former Heavyweight Champion Corrie Sanders was shot and killed by robbers in South Africa over the weekend.

Questions, comments or if you're on the verge of San Francisco/Vegas week!!!