I've got science for any occasion. Postulating theorems formulating equations.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--It wasn’t bloody likely that the Game of Thrones finale could top Blackwater and it didn’t. The finale was like a shotgun blast of storylines and not a lot of them stuck the landing to me. First and foremost was Winterfell. For the most part I’ve liked the changes from book to television, but this one was very disappointing. Theon’s speech was great and maybe Winterfell will end up in the hands of the family it does in the books but leaving it for dead without much explanation made zero sense. I mean what happened to the 500 northmen outside the walls blaring that horn that Theon was so fond of? And how did I not know the actor who plays Theon, Alfie Allen, is Lilly Allen’s brother?

The House of the Undying like the Battle of Blackwater is impossible to pull off as it was in print. I liked it though and Dany finally got the chance to be a bad ass again. And you have no heart if you didn’t tear up when Khaleesi and Khal Drogo had their spirit world talk.

Drogo – “These are questions for wise men with skinny arms.”

F’n Joffrey. F’n Tywin. Tywin is back to being easily hate-able without his banter with Arya. Did love his horse crapping as they entered the throne room seeing as we were about to hear a bunch of horse crap coming forth from Joffrey and Cersei.

I could care less about Varys and Ros the prostitute. I’d just assume abandon her and her “collection of profitable holes.”

Tyrion’s scene with Shae I could have done without as well and I never say that about Tyrion scenes. But I think this episode was just so jam packed full of storylines that a little more time on some of the other ones would have been time well spent. Or maybe I just can’t stand Shae.

Stannis isn’t one of my favorite characters, but Stephen Dillane plays the hell out of him and that scene where he sees whatever he sees in the flames was terrific.

I need webisodes all summer of Brienne and Jaime Lannister’s road trip.

I’m no prognosticator but I don’t like Sam’s odds against this guy and his friends.

--If you had Lane Pryce cash your ticket. Gonna take a while to get that image out of my head. Bravo to Jared Harris and their make-up people. I saw Jared on Inside the Actors Studio a couple of weeks ago and had no idea of his family’s acting background. Good interview with Harris from Alan Sepinwall.

Jaguar can’t be too happy that one of its executives was portrayed as a john who doesn’t know his Cleopatra history. Then one of their cars was so poorly made that you can’t even kill yourself with it because of its unreliability. Actually they probably liked that part.

I guess no whore hangover for Joan.

One more week then Sunday nights become barren until Walter White starts tearing it up again in mid-July.

--I got my fantasy football draft kit order reminder in the mail over the weekend so now I can officially start preparing without feeling like a total loser. Keyword – “total.”

--If you were wondering how many more seasons of Spartacus we were going to get we have our answer. One. Good decision. The show will end with Spartacus: War of the Damned, which is about seven months away from premiering. Not gonna be the same without Lucretia.

--Omar! Kima! Bubs! D’Angelo! Snoop? Snoop! Best Funny or Die I can remember.

The Wire: The Musical with Michael Kenneth Williams from Michael Kenneth Williams

--You know your city has a lot of quality restaurants when you can list a Top 100 and still have some legitimate restaurants left off. Tip of the hat to Alison Cook for even attempting a list like this. It'll be out on Chron.com later this week as it's only available on iPad right now.  New Eater Houston editor Eric Sandler with his take on the list and some omissions.  Always love me some Backstreet Cafe.

--Lonely Virgil is the saddest tumblr ever. But if it’s going to spawn a lot of Deadspin readers sending in their wrestling run-ins then all the better.

--The Dark Knight Rises has a runtime of 2 hours and 45 minutes? Not long enough.

--Also promising, this.

This weekend AMC starts from the Breaking Bad beginning in case you want a refresher course or know some poor soul who still hasn’t watched.  Now why you're friends with someone who doesn't watch Breaking Bad is another issue.

--At one point or another we’ve all driven off or almost driven off leaving something on top of the car like a drink. It happens. In Florida Arizona it happened to a pink-haired 19-year-old named Catalina. She was out at a park getting high with her boyfriend. They left to go get some beer and that’s when the boyfriend got popped for aggravated DUI. Catalina went to a friend’s house and did what any of us would do, yep, she smoked some more. Did I mention she had her 1-year-old with her while all this was going on? Yeah, you know where this is going. She got home and doh! where’s the kid? Apparently the kid was hanging out in the middle of the road in its car seat still because mommy left the car seat on the roof of her car when she drove off from her friend’s house. She went back for baby and the cops were waiting for her because apparently that sort of thing is frowned upon. On the plus side the maker of that car seat has a fantastic idea for a new commercial seeing as the baby wasn’t injured.

--Our Florida Story of the Week comes to us from Tampa. ‘Twas there that Idalmis de Armas tried a different method of dispute resolution with her husband. Her method involved pouring nail polish remover on her husband’s arm and shorts before her coup de grace involving the cigarette lighter. She was arrested and her husband who had his freakin’ arm set on fire refused medical attention which leads me to believe he must have been watching something really, REALLY good on TV.

--So I’m watching Elmo in Grouchland for about the 10th time (nephews in town AND cable out) when it dawns on me that the bad guy is Mandy Patinkin. Saul from Homeland is Huxley from Grouchland and now I really want a Grouchland shout-out on Homeland next season.

--It’s been so long since I’ve been on a rollercoaster that when I went on a couple of rides at The Pleasure Pier it was like experiencing The Texas Cyclone and Skyscreamer for the first time all over again. Not all of the rides are open yet, but Cyclone is and it was like a faster Looping Starship. The coasters there get bonus points for the views of the crystal blue waters of the Gulf. It’s just a different environment than Astroworld with the water and salty air.

I see zero point in buying a pass just to walk along the Pleasure Pier. They had discounted prices since not everything was open yet, but I think normally it’s going to be $27 for an adult and maybe $10 cheaper for kids with unlimited rides. Otherwise you’re paying $4 a ride which is just stupid. You’re going to spend more on parking if you can find it. You can get some of that taken off by getting spending some money at Bubba Gump, but then you have to spend money eating Bubba Gump food. What I’m saying is it’s not cheap, but if that’s what they have to do to keep Pleasure Pier from turning into a movie theater where we’re all made to suffer from the rule of punk kids then so be it.

I have never been to any amusement park where the workers were so freaking nice and courteous. Maybe just because it’s new and the summer sun has beaten them into surly submission yet, but those are some seriously quality employees. Although I could have done without the quiz on Forrest Gump. “Do you know what Forrest’s last name is?” Uhhh…

All these years and I still can’t walk away from the basketball shooting game. Damn you rigged basketball game!

I liked it. My nephews loved it, but then again how could you not love a place that gives you your first gun and beer?

 By the way, 24 oz. beers are like $7 which feels like a steal compared to ballpark prices.

--Drudge headline that I won’t be clicking on: “Woman charged with ‘malicious castration’…”

Also, is there such a thing as a non-malicious castration you can be charged with?

--I watched the MLB Draft last year and thought maybe this year they’d improve it some. Nope. Terrible, terrible presentation by MLB Network though I guess it doesn’t help when Bud Selig is your sizzle at the podium.

--The Roger Clemens trial is still going on. If this trial lasts longer than the entire NBA playoffs we really need to just drop it.

--Jerry O’Connell as Herman Munster. Yeah, that’s about right.

--Look Associated Press, you have a nice story about a guy bringing a lawsuit against Yale-New Haven Hospital because instead of treating his “persistent painful erection” doctors watched a baseball game. However, you fail to note which baseball game. Was there a no-hitter going? Was it a playoff game? Was it Yankees/Red Sox? Was one of the doctors named Jack or Christian Shepherd? This is what’s important.

Questions, comments or if you’re going to Sea World this weekend and you hope you get to laugh about the Spurs the whole time…