Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I thought they were right but I didn't wanna know. The girlie was Def and she wanted to go.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--It’s pretty much impossible to try and sum up what the U.S. women did against Brazil in the Women’s World Cup on Sunday. Can’t wait for Wednesday.

--Brandon Rios and Urbano Antillon delivered on Showtime last Saturday. From the opening bell those two just started throwing and it didn’t slow down until Rios stopped Antillon late in the 3rd. It was 3 rounds of fast-paced goodness. Kermit Cintron didn’t fare so well in the co-feature.
On HBO we saw Rico Ramos shock Sugar Shimoda and everyone else watching with a 7th rd KO. Then Paul Williams faced Erislandy Lara. Williams started off slow, but seemed to get it going in the 4th and 5th rounds. After that it was a whole lotta Williams tasting overhand lefts from Lara. It looked like Paul Williams’ swan song, but boxing went all boxing on us and he inexplicably won a majority decision. Paul Williams’ face does not want to see Sergio Martinez a third time no matter what Paul Williams’ handlers tell him.

--I stopped watching Entourage about a couple of seasons ago, but it’s the last season so I figured I may as well see how they finish up. Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to make it. The dialogue is just so bad. Adrian Grenier still can’t act. I can never take E and Sloane seriously. But hey look there’s Minka Kelly! And what’s the point of having Bob Odenkirk on the screen if you’re not going to give him a line?
Or maybe I just stopped watching once I watched this…

--It’s nice to have Curb Your Enthusiasm back. Although if Cheryl Hines isn’t going to New York at any point I’m gonna miss her. Seeing Katilyn Dever (Loretta from Justified) was a nice surprise. Fortunately the Girl Scout had Larry David to explain the whole tampon process because who better?
At this point it’s probably easier to keep track of the shows in which Gary Cole hasn’t made an appearance. I don't know where he finds the time to voice Mayor Fred Jones Sr./Black Knight/Foreman on Scooby Doo! Mystery Incorporated, whatever that is.
Susie’s back – “You think we're gonna have a nice divorce if we ever get divorced? No f***ng way. I’m taking you for everything you have, mister. I'm taking your balls and I'm thumbtacking them to the wall . You're gonna get nothing out of it. You mention the ‘d ‘word once in your f***ing life and you'll rue the day you eve met me.”
Oh and Leon is back as well, “How you gonna f*** two bitches in a twin bed?”

--True Blood and Weeds jumped forward in time this season so why not Dexter too? Sounds like it’ll be a year leap for Big Dexy.

--Our Drunk of the Week, Our John of the Week and Our Quote of the Week are all courtesy of David Herzog of Florida, but you knew that already. David’s tale is a 4th of July masterpiece. The cops rolled up to David as he was parked in a part of town where apparently crack and prostitutes are available. Because David told the cops, “I’m trying to get a bj." Wait. Did I mention how the cops found David? A woman called 911 and said “a fat ass cracka” is going around trying to buy “dope” and he’s drunk off his ass and bothering people. David believe in honesty when dealing with police and told them he was “way too f’d up to drive” but he “really wanted to have sex.” The cops asked for a recap of the night and David said it was the usual drink 10-12 Bud Lights pick up a prostitute at a bar, get a bj in the parking lot, take her to go get some crack only to have her disappear 4th of July. Yeah, time for some field sobriety tests. David tapped out early on them though saying, “I’m too drunk for this officer.” He was down for a breath test though because he had already eaten two chickens, six wings, two racks of ribs and a cheeseburger so that should have soaked up all the alcohol. .211 BAC. One more burger may have done it.

--Down goes Orchid! Orchid looked like a shoo-in for the final five after the first couple of weeks, but she couldn’t even make it into the final eight. I’m not sure what happened to her, but her personality never came through and I never got a sense for what direction a show with her would go from a culinary standpoint.
Jeff’s idiotic energy this week culminated in his team’s food truck being called “Balls on the Roll.” Balls, balls, balls, balls. “Balls in soup? Balls in soup.”
Despite being a complete bia week in and week out Penny remains much to the dismay of many viewers.
Full review on ApeDonkey here. If you haven't checked out the Emmy Dream Ballot a bunch of us are doing at ApeDonkey then maybe you should start with the Best Supporting Actor in a Drama where the two strongest cases in my opinion belong to Peter Dinklage and Walton Goggins. Oh and Michael Pitt...and Delroy Lindo.

--I’m not exactly sure how a mockumentary of the King of Kong documentary is going to work, but I’m willing to find out. If perchance you have never seen King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters then you really need to fix that because that would mean you’ve never met Billy Mitchell and everyone should meet Billy Mitchell.

--ESPN Classic running the entire Friday Night Lights series starting this Wednesday is pretty sweet.

--It’s early, but I’m guessing my favorite read of the week will be Cracked.com’s “6 Mind Blowing Ways Starship Troopers Predicted the Future.” Damn I love that stupid ass movie.

You need Johnny Rico on that wall.

--Happy for your health Joe Buck, but maybe just to be safe you should retire from announcing games. I’m only thinking about what’s best for you.

--Only the Rays have had a bigger drop in local television ratings among MLB clubs this year than the Astros. Houston is down 34%, which is odd considering I don’t remember the Astros being much more watchable last season. At least this season they’re providing laughs. And at least they aren’t the Marlins who are closing the upper deck for the rest of the season.

Questions, comments or if you seriously can’t believe it’s only a matter of days until Breaking Bad returns…Vulture.com with a nice trip down memory lane for one Walter White…


  1. Hey Danny,

    Long time rss/twitter follower. This video of my buddy's seems like it's right up your alley. Jenna Haze, 80s teen satire, James Hong from Blade Runner in a Gremlins nod, what else do you need?

  2. Thx for reading/following.

    We don't have enough movies based around Flesh Lights IMO. Jenna Haze is an underrated actress.


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