I can drink a quart of Monkey and still stand still. What's the time? it's time to get ill.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Not surprisingly The Big Picture has some incredible, obviously tragic pictures from the devastation in Japan. Seriously if you want to either feel lucky and/or really depressed then looking at those shots.

--There’s a lot of talk about the NFL lockout and such, but we’re not burying the lead here. That lead being of course that the Lingerie Football League will broadcast some of next season’s games in 3D.

--The Final Four you probably need to avoid because it’s my Final Four: Syracuse, North Carolina, Ohio St., Duke, Texas, Louisville, Notre Dame, Kansas and Pitt. As usual if the Big East does well and the Big 10 does not then I’m in good shape.
I could watch Jay Bilas rip the selection committee all day.
“We talk about the eye test…this one didn’t pass the laugh test.”
“I wonder if some people on the committee know whether the ball is round.”
I watched ESPN’s coverage, but that’s only because I didn’t know CBS College Sports had analysts like Alaa Abdelnaby.


--I had my reservations about the Fab 5 documentary since Chris Webber wasn’t in it and the producers were the other four Fabs, but all in all I enjoyed it a lot. It was a nice trip down memory lane with some back story on the recruiting, the requisite I hate Duke this much, the timeout and the aftermath. But without Chris Webber speaking a large part of what could have made this great or revelatory was noticeably missing. I guess this is all we’ll get for right now as far as C-Webb’s two cents. Awesome. Also awesome was Steve Fisher and his Cosby Show lie. You can tell Juwan Howard is still pissed he never get some Lisa Bonet time.

I know they’ve gotten overrated talk and they never won anything, but to me that’s missing the point. They had an impact on the game, its culture and I liked what Jalen Rose asked about naming the champ 5 years ago or the starting five from the UNC team that beat them and the list goes on and on. His bottom line, hell yeah we have a legacy. I agree and it was one that made for a good documentary. I just wish Webber had played nice. I also wish they had addressed what Michigan did after Webber left with Juwan and Jalen hanging around for their junior years before leaving. It’s probably a separate doc, but I would’ve liked a more complete telling of Ed Martin, the gambling, the NCAA violations and the car wreck on Mateen Cleaves’ recruiting trip that started the dominoes falling for the program.

--I watch Californication the same way I watch Weeds nowadays which is to say it’s little more than background noise, but I feel I’ve invested this much time in it already that I might as well keep watching to the bitter end. This week looked like a clip show of Hank’s greatest dic* hits. I did like Abbey/Carla Gugino tearing into Karen like that, but beyond that it was just more of the same tired story.

--Unlike Californication and Weeds, Eastbound & Down knows when to fold ‘em and it’ll fold ‘em after this upcoming season.

--I’m shocked, shocked I say to hear that Donald Sterling and the Clippers wouldn’t pay for cancer surgery for one of its assistant coaches.

--The Chicago Code just doesn’t work for me when the story isn’t alderman vs. police superintendent. The show falls really short dialogue-wise from Terriers and just seems lazy a lot more often than it should. It also falls short acting-wise from The Shield. Not necessarily the main cast, but the actors who are in it for that week’s episode are just plain bad like the call girl from this past week’s ep.

--And then there were four…Everyone except Mike Isabella might just freak the hell out and actually allow him to win. Hell, he already beat Michael Voltaggio straight up and Voltaggio had coffee pesto because, you know, he’s Michael Voltaggio.
By the way Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen begins next Tuesday on that cooking channel bastion known as Syfy.

--The worst ever episode of Chopped was last week with four Next Food Network Stars going at it. It was Lisa, Brad, Michael and Debbie. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty. It was in stark contrast to this week when Robert Irvine and Anne Burrell kicked Chopped’s ass. Anne moved on to the next round as expected. Claire Robinson and Duff were also-rans.

--I liked Mama Gallagher for her two episode run on Shameless. It shined a different light on everyone and gave us a real antagonist beyond the drunken mess of Frank. One other thing I like about this show is the lack of permanent secrets. They don’t try and drag out a long secret with a bunch of close misses at discovering it. Secret one hour and boom the next hour it’s out there.

--Brad’s an idiot, right? I mean who picks Emily over Chantal? An idiot, that’s who. I only needed to hear 5 minutes of the aftermath or afterparty or after the rose or whatever the hell The Bachelor equivalent of the postgame show is to know Brad is a dumbass. Big shock he and Emily aren’t working out. I've said too much.

--Mary Steenburgen joining Bored To Death? Sure, why not.

--Girls who like reading about Donald Glover?
#cangetit

--Writing of Freaks and Geeks…Hollywood Reporter with 9 Things You Didn’t Know About F&G. Love the ideas for what could have been in the second season.

--There are at least 78 reasons why I love Warming Glow. Finding out Lost’s Sawyer/Josh Holloway is in Aerosmith’s “Cryin” video with Alicia Silverstone is one of them.

Sawyer comes in around the 4:00 minute mark.

--Of course Felicia “Snoop” Pearson from The Wire was arrested recently as part of a big drug sweep in Baltimore. I mean, she’s Snoop.

David Simon with a piece on Slate regarding the arrest.

--The Smurfs trailer looks like you’d expect it to…
youtube

--Walton Goggins = Best Supporting Actor Emmy. At least in a just(ified) world.
Mags McCready is the scariest character on television right now.

--You do stupid stuff in high school especially when dared. But even with a double dog dare you have to know your limits. For example, if I was a 17-year-old honors student and someone dared me to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, well that just ain’t happening. This particular kid decided to make the 220 foot jump that killed 32 people last year. This kid cheated his final destination, but did suffer a broken tailbone and torn lung.

--The Situation wasn’t funny at Trump’s Roast? Really? Because he’s got such good comedic chops what with all his years working his way up. Honestly, who thought putting him up there would be a good idea?

--Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake no more. Can’t wait to see who’s next in Justin’s Hall of Fame. Adrianne Palicki would be fitting and give Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter a perfect double date.


--Have $15,000 or so laying around and always wanted to sit at a table during Top Chef’s Restaurant Wars? Here’s your chance.

--There’s torture and then there’s what this gang did which was putting its victims’ heads in bags filled with sliced onions. “Asphyxiation” by onions? Gotta be one of the worst ways to

Questions, comments or if you’re really slacking and haven’t listed to Lupe’s new one yet…