To Send My Rhymes Out To All Nations. Like Ma Bell, I've Got The Ill Communications.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Gary Kubiak and Rick Smith still have jobs with the Texans? Yeah, that’s about right.
I like Ricky Williams’ take on Dolphins players making statements towards the end of the season backing their coach Tony Sparano.
Ricky: “Usually when players are talking and saying the right things, it means that they’re full of s***.”
We’ve certainly heard Texans players back Gary Kubiak. I’ll let you know the first time I hear any player say something positive about Rick Smith or anyone not named Kubiak or McNair for that matter.

--Blanket statements are fun. Like, “Everyone who doesn’t vote for Jeff Bagwell based solely on SUSPECTED steroid use is an idiot.” See, wasn’t that fun? Peter Gammons with his case here. Brian McTaggart with his. Joe Posnanski with his. Jeff Bagwell with a quote that is at the same time awesome and sad, “I’m so sick and tired of all the steroids crap, it’s messed up my whole thinking on the subject…If I ever do get to the Hall of Fame and there are 40 guys sitting behind me thinking, ‘He took steroids,’ then it’s not even worth it to me.”

--Really Kardashians?! A show for Khloe and Lamar Odom?! Pretty sad a day won’t go by in 2011 that a Kardashian show will not be aired.

--Congratulations to Macauley Culkin. Yeah, you and Mila Kunis have broken up, but you somehow pulled eight years with Mila Kunis!

You can almost hear her think, "Why didn't I go Kieran?"

--Ed Reed played in just 10 games this season. Yeah, he led the league in interceptions.

--This essay made me think and I hate thinking, but damn a lot of it rings true. Basically it’s about our technology-filled lives and the consequences thereof. Good stuff.
“And it’s losing track of this distinction—between reading and seeing—that’s so shameful. It’s like being demoted from the category of thinking, caring human to a sort of rat that doesn’t know why he needs to tap that button, just that he does.”
/Immediately checks Twitter on iPad

--As I tweeted, Gabrielle Carteris turning 50 doesn’t make me feel old, but finding out Ruthie (Mackenzie Rosman) from 7th Heaven turned 21 last week does. Loved me some 7th Heaven back in the day. Possibly even for reasons beyond Jessica Biel. Possibly.

Do you know how many images I had to sift through to get a nice 7th Heaven pic and not one of Ruthie tonguing some girl?

--Some things are fine left just the way they are and need no updating such as “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” So back the hell off Willow Smith!

--In About-Damn-Time News…a Netflix button on your remote control.

--Only two players in the last 30 years have caught more than 10 TDs in their rookie seasons. Randy Moss and Mike Williams, the Tampa one.

--Food Network Humor with its photo list of Top 10 Biggest Food Network Foodgasms of 2010. Warning: Barefoot Contessa is a part of this list.


--This is the week you start checking IFC for goodness like Mr. Show with Bob and David and The Larry Sanders Show.

--Were you just thinking, “I wonder where in the world is Octavio Dotel?” Of course you were. The answer is Toronto.

--Aaron Rodgers and Jessica Szohr?!

Jessica is the one who isn't Leighton Meester or Blake Lively on Gossip Girl.

--Billy the Kid did not get a pardon. Now you know.

--A lot of you had last week off so let me fill you in on what day there was an accident involving a Metro train or bus. If you had Tuesday you win the pool.

--I don’t understand why anyone would watch Teen Mom, but holy crap the craziest of the Teen Moms, Amber something or other makes $280,000 a year from MTV?!

--If you’re in a good mood, but would much rather be sad then I highly recommend The Road. It had me at cannibals. It's playing nightly on the Showtimes.

--Wait, there’s been a Death Race 2 and there’s going to be a Death Race 3?!

--All right V. Your second chance begins tonight. Gimme my Marc Singer and Jane Badler.

--Gotta love Brandon Lloyd. So Brandon, you’ve bounced around the league and now you find yourself in the Pro Bowl. Do you want to tell those former teams “told ya so?” Lloyd, “No. I want to say F*** you. And I mean that in the most professional way.”

--Friday Night Lights.
One quick non-spoiler-unless-you’re-hypersensitive-in-which-case-stop-reading-now word. Please let Billy Riggins spin off Friday Night Lights as a personal trainer/motivational speaker.

Questions, comments or if you ever had the joy of spending three hours in a jewelry store on New Year’s Day because Spence Diamonds f’d you over by closing all its stores in Texas a mere 5 months after you bought your engagement ring there…