Ho ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey. And when my girlie shakes her hips - she sure gets funky.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--The always informative and entertaining guys at Free Darko are taking a look at Hakeem Olajuwon this week with features ranging from Dream’s help with Dwight Howard to Phi Slamma Jamma to Dream’s lack of recognition because of some guy named Michael Jordan. Go to this link, go to the bottom post, start reading up and enjoy the analysis of the greatest player to ever put on a Houston uniform.

--If Zac Diles doesn’t work out at middle linebacker I suggest using the bye week to get Neil Rackers up to speed at MLB. The guy is in on more tackles on kickoffs than any kicker I’ve ever seen.

--You’re ABC Family, not exactly destination television, so how are ratings so bad for Friday Night Lights reruns that you pull it from the air?! Anyway, Friday Night Lights’ final season starts up again next Wednesday beginning the one hour a week I miss DirecTV.

--I have no idea why (probably because NBC hates you), but NBC picked up Outsourced for another year. The Event too, which I never bothered getting in to.

--V has been cut from a 13-episode order to just 10. Adjust your apathy accordingly.

--Wait, Don’s secretary/fiancée/Jessica Pare got nekkid in Hot Tub Time Machine and had a lesbian scene with Piper Perabo?! Don, I’m sorry I ever questioned your judgment. Clearly you know what the hell you’re doing.


--Quote of the Week comes to us from Chicago Bears offensive line coach Mike Tice talking about his young lineman that are getting Jay Cutler batted around like a piñata: “On the field they don't speak because they're not positive they know what they know what they think they know they know.”

That quote barely edges this equally nonsensical quote from Jamarcus Russell about what the hell happened: "I'm not sure. I don't know where it went wrong. But for the things that did go wrong, I take full blame for whatever was my fault and the things that did happen. Being drafted number one, there's so much that they want you to do at the snap of a finger. It didn't happen that way, which brings us to today."

--Wait, JWOWW turned down $400,000 from Playboy?! Uhhhhhhhh.....

--I don’t watch previews for next episodes, but at this point I expect next week’s Sons of Anarchy to be show the boys in the plane waiting through a delay on the tarmac for 60 minutes. What I’m saying is, get to f’n Belfast already!
Opie’s porn girl, Lyla, was fined $50,000 by the NFL for her hard hits of Opie and that other porn skank and I think she got off lightly. Those were some serious slaps.
And seriously hasn’t the leader of that other gang, Salazar, done enough to warrant his own death?! Kill a lackey, but not the guy who ordered the hit?! Seems very un-biker club and believe me I know biker clubs. I used to hang at The Blue Oyster.
As for Gemma’s “escape,” well I’m going to erase that from my memory. I’ll go ahead and keep the memory of the first 10 seconds of the episode which was a lovely lingering shot of said porn star’s ass.

--Lea Michelle takes pretty pictures in GQ…

and in Marie Clarie UK....

We’re all about equal time here so Dianna Agron…


--I’m glad to see Boardwalk Empire is hitting on the Rothstein-Black Sox scandal a little. I hope there’s more where that came from and more Rothstein/Luciano in general. Really with the exception of Chalky White’s screen time all the stories away from the Boardwalk have been my favorite thus far.

--Libby from Lost, Cynthia Watros is going to Desperate Housewives, which I think proves my theory that Wisteria Lane is purgatory.

--If I lived in Detroit and had to back the Pistons I probably wouldn’t be all that excited either, but seriously they’re giving away 50 season tix to their craziest fans and can get only 11 to show up to audition?! Anybody seen a line on the over/under on Tracy McGrady games played this season? I’d put it at 40.

--I miss you Carl Landry…

Carl Landry reads to kids, has trouble with the word "fatten" @ Yahoo! Video

--Inception comes out on DVD December 7th. If it doesn’t come with a spinning top or some kind of totem I’ll be disappointed.

--The new Brock sure is boring leading up to fights now, huh? Looking forward to seeing if Cain can outwrestle and maintain position on Brock. I’m thinking not and Brock gets a big punch in and punishes away for a 2nd rd TKO.
Also anxious to see Jake Shields make his debut especially against a great all-around fighter like Martin Kampmann.
Love him or hate him Tito Ortiz is still a name and a draw. If Matt Hamill is able to stay aggressive I expect him to win.
Always enjoy watching the likes of Diego Sanchez, Brendan Schaub and Sam Stout as well.

--Shirtless, drunk and swimming in a canal in 39 degree weather is no way to go through life son. Hey, I’m talking to you Colts punter Patrick McAfee!

--I repeat what I wrote earlier this week, how in the hell did Jacksonville get a Monday Night Football home game?! First, the Jaguars aren’t any good and I don’t know who thought they would be. Second, they called it “Teal Monday,” enough said. But oh man, if you watched remember when they were like 6 minutes left and Jack Del Rio continued to do nothing, but run, run, run the ball despite being down 20. The crowd loved that.
And uhhh, the Titans are good, aren’t they? Crap.

--I’ve already decided that as much as it pains me I’d actually root for the Celtics over the Heat in the East so if Boston keeps Von Wafer it’ll make a little easier. A little.

--No Ming Tsai we’ve already decided we hate you so don’t go picking Bryan “ballerina boy” Caswell’s pickle dish as the best.

--Important Things with Demetri Martin was usually more hit than miss for me, but I’m not hopeful of anything of Demetri hitting on CBS.

--CJ Wilson seems like a cool guy and pulled Dominique Piek so I think he’ll get over the Game 5 loss.


--I think it’s impossible for me to get tired of watching promos for Justified or Lights Out coming up next year on FX.

--Will never comprehend Marko Jaric being married to Adriana Lima who, just for fun, wears $2 million dollar bras.


--It took a mere six weeks for Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre to match their 2009 interception totals.

--The more and more Taylor Swift cries about people in songs the more and more I wish Kanye had been more of a jerk at the VMAs.

--Beautifully scary thing when the worlds of Drunks of the Week and Mother of the Year collide. We head to the Rio Grande Valley where there is a really good basketball team and, apparently, two really drunk Rosales girls. Apparently the Rosales’, ages 31 and 28, were parked outside someone’s house and that someone called the cops reporting a suspicious car outside their house. Cops come and witness the women in all their drunken “lost all use of their mental and physical faculties” glory. Oh and kids, lots of kids. A two-week old, a 4-year-old, a 5-year-old and a 10-year-old. And wouldn’t you know none of those kids could blow into the Interlock Breathalyzer device to start the car? The women coached them up as best they could, but kids can be so worthless when you really need them. Between them the women had 4 previous DWIs beyond the new child endangerment charges.

--I always think it’s rude when someone is talking on their cell phone while buying something at a convenience store or Starbucks or wherever. So David McDonough doing it at a bank in Ohio is just wrong especially if you’re already robbing the place. I mean, is etiquette completely dead? The jerk was on his cell phone complaining about a hangover he had while passing a note to a teller requesting $3,000 and no dye pack. He got his money and then, of course, he eventually got his arrest. Hopefully they’ll teach him some proper manners in prison.

Questions, comments or if you plan on finishing first in the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk Saturday morning at Minute Maid Park….mercy is for the weak….