Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm Ad Rock And I Shock And I Tick And I Tock. And I Can't Stop With The Body Rock.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--No better World Cup story than Paul the Prognisticating Octopus receiving death threats in the form of recipes. Personally I prefer fried and then tossed in garlic butter with banana peppers.

--Bubbles/Andre Royo got himself about three minutes on Party Down which was nice, but apparently he’s going to have a much bigger role in Fringe next season. Good for Bubbs who will get to reunite with Daniels from Wire.
If you’re keeping score at home Aiden Gillen/Tommy Carcetti is going to be on HBO’s Game of Thrones which sounds good. Oh and did I mention: MICHAEL K. WILLIAMS WILL BE ON SEAN & JOHN THIS FRIDAY AT 5:50 PM AND I GET TO SIT IN FOR A BIT TO TALK TO THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE OMAR!

A man gotta have a code...and his Honey Nut Cheerios.

--The Astros firing hitting coach Sean Berry, hiring Jeff Bagwell and messing with the rotation so Roy Oswalt can have the chance to finish in Houston as its all-time winner is very, well, it’s very Astros-like. Why Berry was kept this offseason in the first place was beyond baffling. Now he’s gone so Baggy can try out if he likes being hitting coach or not. That’s the way Jeff made it sound in quotes after Sunday’s game. Oh well I’m sure if he likes it then Brad Mills has his managerial replacement now on his staff. If he doesn’t then we’ll get Baggy back in the TV booth some more and that’s fine by me.
As for shuffling the rotation to give Roy two chances in Houston to break the all-time Houston win mark, well whatever. It would be very Astros for Roy to suffer an unfortunate injury in one of those games and kill any trade possibility. The guy only asked for a trade weeks ago, he deserves a better team, the Astros need prospects so I think if you add it all up Roy is probably staying here.

--Jenn Brown on the Erin Andrews career path from Florida to Esquire and now we’re waiting for her answer to an offer to be in SI’s Swimsuit Issue.

--I liked Firefly, but I loved its movie sequel Serenity. From the first scene and the way it was directed you knew this was going to be good stuff. The doctor was a little more confrontational than he was during the regular run of the show, but mostly the characters remained unchanged which was of course a good thing. Solid plot and you can’t go wrong if you can weave the Reavers and the Alliance together in the same story. Add in a scene where Dennis from Sunny gets shot in the head by Mal to save him from being eaten alive, well, awesome. It’s easy to see why Sarah Connor Chronicles picked Summer Glau to be a terminator. She killed in the role of River no matter how much of the fight scenes she actually did. Sad to see Mal and River pilot the ship at the end because that marked the end of Firefly’s universe and it was a fun one to immerse yourself in for 14 episodes and a movie.

If only Dennis had Agent Jack Bauer the cat with him he coulda survived the Reavers.

--Put it on your calendar, Boardwalk Empire premieres on HBO September 19th at 8 pm. I’m not sure how many episodes of Mad Men will be left at that point, but that sounds like a helluva doubleheader on Sunday nights. On a Sunday night note, True Blood is taking its sweet time going anywhere. According to IMDB Michael K. Williams will play a character called Chalky White who is the de facto mayor Chickenbone Beach which is a description with all kinds of possiblities.

--“LeBron, do you still bite your nails?” - Jim Gray
Still gets me every time.
In a related note our Drunk of the Week comes to us from Michigan. ‘Twas there that a 30-year-old guy was drifting all over the road, but still managed to stay on the road which is a plus. Anyway, cops pulled him over and asked him if he’d been drinking. Guy responded yes and it was because LeBron James signed with the Miami Heat instead of the Boston Celtics. I think the cops took him to jail anyway.

--I was surprised to learn on last week’s South Bound Food that none of the crew had ever heard of Pop Chips. Not fried, not baked, just popped into magical chips without a bunch of bitch ass preservatives and ingredients you can’t pronounce. A bag of them goes about 360 calories and 12 grams of fat so I don’t feel so guilty when I tilt the the bag up and take the crumbs like a shot of alcohol. We also briefly talked about favorite candy bars with Caswell being a Take 5 guy while I’m straight Payday. Houston Press also ran a bit on 5 under-appreciated candy bars. In the comments someone wrote that their grandmother breaks Paydays in half, puts them in a pan with some melted butter and adds Fritos. Stoners think that’s a crazy combination to put together to eat.

--Candwiches!!!!!!!!!!!! No it’s not a candy sandwich although that sounds good too. This is a sandwich in a can. Obviously I’ll leave this to the experts like Colbert to comment on: "For years, theoretical sandwologists had promised that man would one day be able to preserve and enjoy a sandwich with the same technology used to store motor oil."

--New favorite song because it played on the LCD Soundsystem Pandora station and the end of the debate episode of Community last week. “Home” from Edward Sharpe & Magnetic Zeros.

--I watched just enough of the Home Run Derby to get annoyed by Chris Berman and see Big Papi dedicate his win to Jose Lima. Nice.

--Superman rumors here via Geek Tyrant claim Jonathan Nolan (yes, brother of) may get to direct, but more interesting than that is the rumor of Zachary Levi as Superman. That would be quite the coincidence since the last Superman came on Chuck to kill Chuck. I think this would be a helluva selection.

--This is a Glee I can get behind. The special Britney Spears showcase episode that’ll air after the Super Bowl will be led by Glee’s Brittany, Heather Morris. Nice. “Dolphins are just gay sharks.”

Glee's Troy and Abed.

--Apparently this was the weekend to get married as Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher tied the knot a day after Carmelo and La La did. NY Post with an awesome headline since LeBron came in for that wedding, “Welcome to NY, jackass.”
Also off the market, John Krasinski and Emily Blunt.

--Look Uverse stop playing with this we’re-gonna-take-AMC-and-IFC-off-our-air. I don’t want to have to play sonuvabitch-now-I-have-to-go-back-to-DirecTV.

--Considering how the Hulk movies have been, Edward Norton out as The Hulk in The Avengers sounds good to me.

--Peter Weller will join Julia Stiles as Dexter newbies next season. We’re only 10 weeks away from that being back and I already miss John Lithgow.

--King Mo Lawal v. Raheel who busts out the thinking man on Mo...

--So apparently a while back Val Kilmer said some unkind things about New Mexico regarding its drinking habits. To summarize he said 80% of the people in his county were drunk (closer to 90% my guess) and that he always carried a gun because he was worried about his children what with all the drunks around.
Well thankfully stories like the one I’m about to relate out of Las Cruces squashes this whole New Mexico is full of alcoholics reputation. You know how you get your boys together and you play a drinking game like the ever popular He Who Drinks The Least Gets Set On Fire. Well that’s what this 47-year-old guy was doing with his boys. At six beers he had imbibed the least so agreed he had to be set on fire. At least his drinking buddies started the fire on the guy’s prosthetic leg. But get this, fire spreads. Who knew? So the guy ended up getting flamed all over his lower body. His friends were kind enough to take him to the hospital, well almost. They got skeered and dropped their “friend” off on the side of the highway with no clothes on since he took them off to ease the pain.

--While waiting for Next Food Network Star to start I watched pretty much all of Observe and Report. Nice things to say about it, ummm, Aziz and Landry/Jesse Plemons are in it…ummm, oh and the lovely Anna Faris. Basically all mall-related movies after Mallrats should not have been made.

Blonde is definitely the way to go for Anna.

--Writing of Next Food Network Star, I’m enjoying that a lot more than these early Top Chef dismissals. Maybe it’s just because I’m mean and like making fun of these wanna be “stars.”
I’m guessing Timothy Dean will leave Top Chef sooner rather than later. Whenever he left things aren’t going that well for him. He’s had to file for bankruptcy and he’s suing a developer for evicting him from their entertainment complex he had planned to open a restaurant in.

--Children’s Hospital was even more insane than I thought it’d be. That’s a helluva lot of good cast to whip around like that in just 15 minutes.

--Sofia Vergara has ruined bikinis for women everywhere. If you haven’t seen those pics by now you have failed at internet.

Questions, comments or if you can't wait to see Inception this weekend…


  1. Children's Hospital needs to be a half hour show. Plus the ad for NTSF:SD:SUV was pretty good. Riggle should be on a regular show. He could be the super serious former HS player on The League.
    Doesn't Canwich sound like some Japan has had for years? Sofia should almost be against the law she is so hot. One of the few times I have not wished ill towards the paparazzi.

  2. Anonymous10:31 PM

    All I can say about sophia is "Baby...Baby I wanna do you..do you... underneath the moonlite!

  3. Sofia is ridiculous.
    Children's Hospital needs at least 5 more mins.
    Agreed on Riggle and great call for him on The League. He'd kill that role.

  4. I live in Montrose, but I'm going to Tomball to see Inception. There's a movie theater out there where the seats move and shake during certain scenes. Also, dinner at Bootsie's afterwards, which is always awesome.

    Details here: http://www.santikos.com/dbox.php

  5. Damn that's a good plan. I've gotta make it out to Bootsie's sometime and this weekend might be it.

  6. Anonymous8:08 AM

    Paydays FTW!!!

    Just something amazing about simple salted peanuts and caramel.

  7. Can't mess with that salty, crunchy, sweet combo. However chocolate Paydays are disgusting.


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