Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Four and three and two and one What up!. And when I'm on the mic - the suckers run (Word!)

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Nobody was expecting much from UFC 116 beyond the headliners Lesnar and Carwin. And then the card started. In a word: Holy. In two words: Holy crap. Two Fight of the Night bonuses handed out and neither was for the crazy main event. Starting with that, I had zero problem with the ref not stopping this fight in the 1st round when Shane Carwin was trying to drop punches and elbows on a covered up Brock. I thought Brock was defending himself well and deserved a chance to get out of it. Lesnar was blocking most of what Carwin was throwing except for an elbow or two. After that first round it was pretty apparent Shane had nothing left in the tank. Credit to both guys for a rollercoaster ride of a fight. This more at peace Brock is scarier than intense a-hole Brock. Smiling killer >> Scowling killer. As a mark it was pretty cool to see Stone Cold, Goldberg and Paul Heyman all congratulate Brock.
Chris Leben fights barely two weeks ago and steps into the octagon against Akiyama and gave us something reminiscent of the Korean Zombie/Leonard Garcia fight especially in that incredible 2nd round. Literally in the last seconds of the fight, after battling well off his back Leben pulls off a dramatic submission. Maybe Akiyama should rethink using Bellagio fountain show music as his entrance music.
Stephan Bonnar and Krzystof Soszynski threw down and Bonnar was taking the worst of it like their first fight. Despite that and despite the gash on him Bonnar landed a knee in the 2nd and that was the beginning of the end for Soszynski. There’s needing a win and then there’s what Bonnar needed at UFC 116.
George Sotiropolous continues to impress and climb the ladder.
Most people figured Chris Lytle would submit Matt Brown and he did in very pretty fashion, but just not pretty enough to get a Submission of the Night check. That went to Brock after he put the cherry on the best sundae UFC has served in a long time.

--Every bit as exciting and unpredictable as UFC 116 were the World Cup games Friday and Saturday. Just wow. I know Germany will be without Muller and that’s huge, but I’ll take Germany over Spain so we get Netherlands and Germany: This Time It’s Personal.

--Oh and good news, despite Spain squeaking past Paraguay Larissa Riquelme is still going to have her little nekkid run through the streets of Paraguay.

--Stephen Strasburg not on the All-Star team or not even one of the final five to vote on is just stupid and very Major League Baseball of Major League Baseball. It also reinforces how idiotic it is to have this game that’s half exhibition, half vital. Strasburg moves the needle, he just won’t be doing it on baseball’s biggest stage until the postseason. Smart.

--I watched about five seconds of the hot dog eating contest since Kobayashi wasn’t a part of it. Little did I know he’d go and get himself arrested at it. Fan-freakin-tastic!

--I know you’ve been waiting so without further ado your sexiest vegetarians as named by PETA…Olivia Wilde and some Biggest Loser trainer.

--Roy Halladay has 2 more complete games (7) than any Astros pitcher has wins. Awesome.

--The Juan Diaz/Juan Manuel Marquez undercard looks pretty good considering normal ppv undercards. At least we have some names like Daniel Jacobs, Rocky Juarez, and Robert Guerrero facing Joel Casamayor.

--Deep Eddy Sweet Tea Vodka, that’s what I’m talking about.

--If Kelsey Grammar and former Playmate Camille Donatacci can’t make it what chance do the rest of us have? Maybe Jessica Simpson and former NFL tight end Eric Johnson will show us the way to everlasting love.

In days of yore...

--Yeah sounds like Craigers may not be expanding beyond its current seven markets. Austin gives The Kilborn File its highest ratings, but even those are 65% down from what The Simpsons was pulling in the same time slot. It’s also down 57% from its average lead-in in those markets. What I’m saying is, goodbye.

--Wait, Anna Faris is married to Chris Pratt (Andy from Parks)?! Had no idea until I read this article on Anna’s new movie that sounds formulaic and boring as hell, but does have her doing a nude scene of which the article has some pics.

--Exactly how did Martellus Bennett think dressing himself to look like Osama Bin Laden was going to be construed as funny?

--Bottle Shock was playing over the weekend on TMC. I assume because of its July 4th, America rules, screw you France type of story. Solid movie just like Frank had been telling me. It tells the tale of a blind wine tasting competition that was created back in 1976 that essentially put Napa on the wine map and led to wine being produced all over the world and not just France. Very good cast with the likes of Alan Rickman, Bill Pullman, Dennis Farina, Chris Pine and the lovely Rachael Taylor and Eliza Dushku. It may not be 100% factual in its retelling, but an interesting story nonetheless.

--Adult Swim, Rob Corddry, Ken Marino, Henry Winkler, hospital spoof…sold! Premieres Sunday. Guest star list reads like a who’s who of Party Down, The League, and Parks and Recreation.

--Writing of guest stars nice to see Benito Martinez/Aceveda on Burn Notice last week. I forget what the season long arc of this season is, but the episodes are almost always fun. You know what’s not fun? That scene in The Shield when Aceveda thought he was gonna find something on Vic in a house that was just busted and instead of finding something incriminating he found, well, let's just say he didn't like the cell phone pic Juan took of him.

--Brian Austin Green to Desperate Housewives? Sounds about right.

--Those bastards at Starz cancelled Party Down on Lizzy Caplan’s birthday! Alan Sepinwall interviews the lovely Ms. Caplan who talked about the little secret club of the show’s viewers and their tastes:
“I think if a girl who liked 'Party Down' found out that her boyfriend liked 'Two and a Half Men,' she would break up with him.”
Definite dealbreaker.

--I’m loving the FlickKick Football app. Kinda like Paper Toss except replace the trash can with a soccer goal and the fan with defenders.

--So my girlfriend and I were housesitting for my mom last week and I go by her house after work. There’s dog crap in the kitchen which is odd because the dogs always use the doggie door to go out…unless the door leading to that is closed. So I try to open it and a voice says “towels.” Okay, maybe the maid service is here and I just wasn’t aware. So I look around to make sure everything is where it should be and as I do this crazy-looking homeless woman walks out the front door while I ask her WTF? She walks out and I go check out the laundry room which is missing the dog food bowls of course. I mean, really? The dog food bowls? Weird.
So of course a couple hours later she comes back through the doggie door to get her shoes she left and the rest of “her property” while telling me I stole her identity. She was insane in the membrane and I tell her as much though my phrasing was “you’re f’n nuts.” That’s usually how I describe a homeless woman who climbs through doggie doors and walks from the back out the front door all the while smoking a clove. So my girlfriend calls 911 to report a burglary and says the person is inside the house. I’m not saying 911 is a joke, but it was an hour and a half before a cop showed up. Nice guy though who saw the address on my license and graphically described a suicide call he got from the same complex not too long ago. Thanks for that.
She didn’t take anything of real value. She didn’t even go beyond the laundry room. How could we tell? Well she probably woulda used one of the toilets instead of a vase and a trash can to take care of her business. She also left a bike in the backyard behind the garage which is where we found half the laundry room supplies in the trash.
Oh and the homeless woman ended up laying on the ground in the rain a few houses down. So I go outside with the cop to make sure it was the crazy woman and she starts talking in that unmistakable, gravelly voice about how I stole her identity and starts telling the cop I was yelling at her that she was “f’n nuts.” Classic. One thing this whole experience reinforced, I hate the smell of f’n cloves.

--Callie Thorne and Addison Timlin on next season’s Californication isn’t a bad thing even though the show was last season. Haven't seen Callie since her days as Mrs. McNulty.

Would it be better if their names were McNulty and Bunk or Herc and Carver?

--I cannot get the “uhahhhh!!!” out of my head so please join me...

--Darren Rovell had this interesting nugget from Wimbledon. Nicolas Mahut who lost to John Isner in that marathon match in the very first round still played 191 more points than Serena who won the women’s side.

--I finally got around to watching Treme’s finale. Pretty much as yawn-inducing as the rest of the episodes. I did like the little flashback to see everyone’s preparations for Katrina, but other than that…

Questions, comments or if you’re loving Robb Walsh’s book Tex-Mex Grill and Backyard Barbacoa Cookbook for its stories as much as its recipes…


  1. Nelson8:16 PM

    What no love for Harris powerbombing Davis? Was one of the scariest KTFO faces ever. I was worried for a bit. Also much props for Harris for knowing he was out cold and not taking advantage of him to drop bombs on him. That was one of the best slams since Rampage in the ol' Pride days.

  2. Bound to leave off something after a card like that. Great stuff all night from the prelims all the way through.

  3. Best break-in story of all time.


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