Thursday, May 27, 2010

Mike D Yeah? with your bad self running things. What's up with your bad breath onion rings

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Nothing like 24 and Chuck to shake your faith in our government. I actually watched some of 24 for the first time in weeks since it was the series finale and all and maybe, just maybe they might kill Jack Bauer. Of course they didn’t and for the first time ever Jack is on the run while the U.S. and foreign governments search for him. I guess the movie will be the Russians vs. Jack with, I pray, a cameo from Dolph Lundgren.
Chuck rebounded from its subpar mini-season with a nice little finale that, more than anything, set things up for an interesting fourth season. Jeffster is going to have a hard time topping “Blaze of Glory” (nothing will ever top Mr. Roboto) and what does happen with the Buy More subplots now that Buy More is no more? Casey having a daughter is a nice angle for him to have going forward.
Even by Chuck standards that was some pretty overt Subway shilling. Having said that, now that I know I can get an egg white omelet there is somewhat enticing.

--I thought Karate Kid looked bad and then I saw a trailer for The Killers. Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl in a plot that gets recycled every 6 months? Oh what a treat!

--Rosie Huntington-Whitely? Brooklyn Decker? Isn’t the suspense of who’s taking Megan Fox’s place for Transformers 3 just killing you?

Another tough day at the office I presume.

--Go figure a dancer/singer won Dancing with the Stars. Shocking run by Nicole Sherzinger and Evan Lysacek to get to the end. Since he’s just an ice skater I’m not sure where Evan learned to be so athletic and graceful. I thought Erin Andrews was very good in her first dance, but I didn’t see the second because I was too busy watching the U.S. get schooled by Czechoslovakia. 4 goals allowed? Really U.S.?

Oh I saw this part in 9 and 1/2 Weeks.

--One more reason to be glad you don’t live in Cleveland…WEWS aired a chopped up, pixilated mess of a Lost finale. As you might expect viewers weren’t happy, but the station was going to make it up to them by airing the finale in watchable form on May 29th. Lost replays on ABC for everybody on that Saturday regardless.
I caught a bit of a Michael Emerson interview and apparently he dropped that on the Lost Complete Series DVD there’s a 14-minute scene with Ben and Hurley and their time as Numbers 1 and 2. Very nice. You know what would have been better? If that was in the freakin’ finale.

--SyFy has a complete list of where you can see Lost actors and actresses next. Can’t wait for that movie about robot boxers in the future? Well now that she hitched a ride on a plane you can see Kate in that. I’m looking forward most to seeing Lapidus and Ana Lucia in Machete. Walt is going to be in a TeenNick show entitled Gigantic, which is just the perfect title for Walt.
Oh and a lot of people probably would have been happy with this ending.

--WTF was that Breaking Bad?! For a show many consider the best on television this spring that was weak. I mean I appreciate the attempt at trying something different with basically just a two-person and an insect hour, but you failed miserably. I kept expecting some plot advancement and in the end all that amounted to was Walt letting Jesse knows he has a good idea what happened to that missing meth. I mean, duh, of course Walt knows. Not exactly a revelation. All that talk about Walt and Jane, her father and her death didn’t pay off in any way. Although I can’t wait for that day Jesse finds out Walt watched his girl choke to death on her own vomit. Three episodes left and it’s time to pick up the pace back to the Hank/Pollos shootout level.

--It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia starts airing old shows on Comedy Central Monday.

--Our Hungry Man of the Week comes is Guy Jones from West Virginia. Guy was hungry Sunday night and guess who didn’t have his dinner ready? Yeah, wifey who no doubt spent the day at whatever passes off for a salon in West Virginia. Anyway, let’s let Mrs. Jones pick up the story from there, "He started throwing furniture and tore up all the glass tables," Beverly Jones said. "Then he told me I had to get out because he was going to burn the house down. He told me if I didn't get out he would burn me with the house."
Guy Jones, if nothing else, is a man of his word. Unfortunately the article doesn’t say what Guy ended up eating that night.

--Treme just isn’t really doing it for me and now that Desautel’s is closed, well that was really the only storyline that stuck out for me. Although Big Chief is somewhat interesting, but that may just be my inherent like of Lester Freamon/Clarke Peters. I don’t really like Steve Zahn’s character at all. Antoine Batiste is okay and usually leads into some good music. I’m sick of John Goodman and I’m glad we finally got some resolution with his wife and Ladonna's search for her brother. Of course Annie should have left her loser, drug addict, abusive boyfriend a long time ago. I’ll watch the rest of the season and hope I get drawn in, but I’m not counting on it.

--The Pacific airs in two big 5-part chunks Sunday and Monday afternoons. If you can watch more than three hours straight you’ve become completely desensitized to violence.

--Mark Sanchez and Jamie Lynn-Sigler?! I still can’t get past the fact her and Turtle actually dated.

--Getting closer...

--Come September ABC Family will air reruns of Friday Night Lights.

--Jackie Brown prequel? Sure, why not? Jackie Brown prequel without Quentin Tarantino? Why?

--Wow, Sex and the City 2 is only 2.5 hours long? Let’s see what the 9% Rotten Tomatoes rating gives us quote-wise:
AP: “It’s self-indulgent, way too long and never as clever or funny as intended to be.”

USA Today: An insult to the memory of the cleverly written show and its celebration of friendship, it's a slap in the face for the four gal pals (often photographed at unflattering angles) and an affront to Muslims.

Ebert: “Some of these people make my skin crawl. The characters of Sex and The City 2 are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires 3 sentences in a row.”

NY Post: As tasteless as an Arabian cathouse, as worn-out as your 1998 flip-flops and as hideous as the mom jeans Carrie wears with a belly-baring gingham top, “Sex and the City 2” is two of the worst movies of the year.
Sounds lovely.

--How to get me to listen to a band…put Christina Hendricks in the video. Broken Bells with…..

--Looking forward to UFC 114 this weekend and the return of a motivated, in shape Rampage. I’ll take him over Sugar. Lot of guys I’m looking forward to seeing on this card including Diego Sanchez’s return after that beatdown at the hands of BJ Penn. Israel Vasquez thought Diego's face looked bad. Dan Miller is on a two-fight losing streak and facing Michael Bisping who has lost 2 of 3 himself. Todd Duffee’s first fight after that 7-second destruction of Tim Hague in his UFC debut. Other fighters on the card include Melvin Guillard, Amir Sodollah and Efrain Escudero.

--Cristiano Ronaldo is warming up for the World Cup with Irina Shayk. Still waiting for the video crack known as FIFA to add WAGs as a feature. The lovely Cheryl Cole has filed for divorce from Ashley Cole.

--The eight unhealthiest meals of the year. Who knew heavy cream, butter, cheese and bacon might not be good for you, particularly when they’re all in the same dish? And you’re just begging for a heart attack with Tostada Pizza. I can’t remember the last time I got something with a cream sauce at a restaurant. Just can’t do it because I know that carton of heavy cream gets poured with as heavy hand as Don Draper pouring a drink on a Friday afternoon.

--Aren’t you kind of asking for your historical artifacts to get vomited upon when you rent out The National Underground Railroad Freedom Center to a sorority for its spring formal? Alpha Xi Delta of Miami of Ohio the classy group in question.

--So Julie Benz is going to make an appearance on next season’s Dexter? Interesting. And Julia Stiles joining the cast as well.

Aw, geez now I'm gonna f'n cry...

--Now how does that look appetizing?

--Wired explains how Cheetos are made. I imagine there are worse jobs in the world than quality control at Cheetos. Although any flavor other than original and I’m out.

--I’m not sure whose haircut is more surprising, Jared Allen’s or Willie Nelson’s.

--Whoa NBA are you about to give us a Game 7?! I think the fans are owed three Game 7s to make up for the rest of the playoffs.

--I guess we finally know the answer to the age-old question, “How stupid can you be?” Answer: Zach Randolph. I mean, really, a “major marijuana supplier” (allegedly)? We all know you’re a user, but damn. Should have seen this coming since you actually had a good season and all. You were bound to F it up.

--Gee a movie like this might be good. A writer from Colbert, the executive producers of Chuck, and this description from The Hollywood Reporter:
"Loglines are being kept under wraps, but Fun is described as a cross between Superbad and Adventures in Babysitting that is set on Halloween."
Why don’t I ever come across Adventures in Babysitting while channel surfing on a weekend afternoon? Damn, it’s not even on Watch Instantly. Love Elisabeth Shue, but then how could you not?

Damn, I love that scene.

--Our Florida Story of the Week comes to us from Tampa and Middleton High School Assistant Principal Lauren Tito. Apparently Lauren liked to get her World of Warcraft on. She also liked to get her top off and send topless pictures to a 14-year-old boy. Apparently that’s frowned upon, even in Florida. To her credit she wasn’t so brazen to have this relationship with a 14-year-old in her own school. Of course now 14-year-old boys in her school are wondering what’s so wrong with them.

Second place for Florida Story of the Week comes to us from South Fork High School’s prom. As gifts the school gave the students martini glasses. Odd choice considering their age and such. Extremely odd choice considering three former South Fork students died last summer in a drunk driving crash. Also martini glasses are kind of at odds with that whole pre-prom safe-driving fair you had.

--Story of an elderly couple that I don’t want to see on Hoarders. In Chicago, Jesse and Thelma Gaston are intensive care after being discovered buried alive in their own trash. Apparently she tripped on something and a stack of trash tipped over on her and then when he went to help he was stuck. No one knows how long they were stuck there, but it may have been for longer than a week. That is not how you want to head into the white light.

--If I had one wish for this week it would be that Daryl Morey gets to make the Roy Oswalt deal.

Questions, comments or if you’re looking forward to spending another Memorial Day watching the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Championship, Band of Brothers and now The Pacific…Shame that Army couldn’t keep up its run through the Lacrosse Championship…


  1. Sugar is going to beat rampage... be for real

  2. I have a better chance of knocking down 2 shots in a row than Sugar has of winning. Maybe


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