Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I got all the time that I need to kill. What's the time? it's time to get ill.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--“Knock Knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Oh good come in, we thought it was Britta.”
Nice job of attacking the whole what-the-hell-to-do-with-Britta angle.

--I’m not sure which Andy couple I like more Andy/Erin or Andy/April. I think last week’s Parks and Rec was my favorite this season. I could watch an entire episode with nothing but raccoon hat Tom throwing out lines at passing ladies.
"I have a raccoon hat. I'm an interesting person."
"Are you a raccoon? Because you've been running around my hat all day…uh, my head all day..."

--Cancel The Hills?! But how will I ever find out if Audrina and Ryan Cabrera can make it in this crazy world? And wait, Heidi and Spencer may be splitting up?! What the hell is happening with our world?!

--Another week, another bad ass Breaking Bad. And this time more Saul and more Jesse and those are always good things. Saul’s negotiations for the house sale were classic Saul. Bob Odenkirk owns that role in a cast that pound for pound is as strong as any cast on television. And holy crap I'm gonna have nightmares of that bell ringing red ass uncle of Tuco.

--Sam from Top Chef is dating Kelly Bensimon from Real Housewives of NY?! Kelly has a nice Playboy pictorial coming up.

--One of the better stories Fabio told us on Southbound last week was about William Shatner. I asked him about Bill (we’re cool like that) because Fabio’s wiki page mentioned he was a private chef for Shat. I can’t imagine how awesome conversations between those two would sound. Apparently TJ Hooker was a big f’n deal in Italy.

--April 13th right after Idol at 9:30ish Glee returns. A little Beatles in that episode is not a bad thing.

--The Daily Show talked to that idiot who is starting the whites-only basketball league...
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
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--I was down for Smurfs anyway, but adding Sofia’s Vergaras to the cast is fine by me.

--Of course there’s a Hello Kitty wine.

--Sun got married and nice timing right before a Kwon-centric Lost too. If you want to get your Lost on, Bible-style USA Today has a nice little chart.

--One of the best things about The Pacific are the previews we get before the show for Treme and Boardwalk Empire.

--We head to Punxsutawney, PA for our Good and Drunk Samaritan of the Week. 55-year-old Donald Wolfe was a wee bit intoxicated when he saw an animal in need. The animal being a delightful opossum that was “long dead.” But that didn’t stop Mr. Wolfe from trying to bring the little creature back to God’s green Earth. So Wolfe gave the dead possum mouth-to-mouth. Sadly it didn’t work and for some reason the police arrested Wolfe.

--I need to start digging in on all the Life episodes I recorded. I’m not looking forward to Oprah handling the voiceovers, but I survived Whoopi on Meerkat Manor so I’ll manage.

--Joe Buck Live over? Wow, probably the only person on earth who could have predicted that is the autistic kid in Chicago who had a perfect bracket through the first two rounds. Because everyone thought Joe Buck Live was going to be a huge success based on the charisma, wit and obvious talent Joe possesses.

--People like hearing about each other’s brackets about as much as they like hearing about each other’s fantasy football teams. Having said that I managed to get two of my Final Four correct – West Virginia and Duke. Oddly enough I’m ranked 19th in one challenge yet 3rd in Lance’s using the same bracket. Weird, weird year.

--My man Wex made SI Hot Clicks with this clear, concise and thought-provoking question to a couple of Dukies.

--Shane Carwin is a bad, bad man. All the guy does is win and win in the first round. Carwin/Lesnar is going to be epic and bigger than Lesnar/Mir II. MMA Heavyweight Division = stacked and crazy exciting. Boxing Heavyweight Division = there’s a boxing heavyweight division? Nothing more frustrating than watching five, five-minute rounds of domination without even a hint of a miracle comeback occurring. It was boring, but damn GSP is incredible.

--The only Showtime I watch is Weeds (TV Guide is picking up reruns), Californication and Dexter. Though those first two are on probation. Anyway, United States of Tara and Nurse Jackie have been renewed.

--I don’t know anyone who is watching, but Caprica’s mid-season finale was more of the same. Good stuff with Zoe/Cylon, Daniel and Tamara, but wastes of time with everything else. I’m not sure why they brought Polly Walker on for as little as she’s done so far. Also a waste of a season for Scott Porter (Street from FNL). I can’t remember which reviewer I read, but someone suggested him for Captain America, which would have been perfect. All in all I think it’s still a promising show with some good acting and storylines that gets bogged down with uninspired storylines that viewers don’t connect to or even want to connect to.

--Ban menthol cigarettes?! Make it happen.

--Poor Najeh Davenport. Every time a guy takes an ill-advised dump you can’t help but think the guy pulled a Najeh. This “Najeh” occurred in Las Cruces where 18-year-old Austin Horries and his girlfriend had apparently been going through some problems. So one night Austin decided to show her what’s what. So he broke into her Honda Civic by smashing a rock through a window. Then he proceeded to take a dump in her car. Oh, did I type “her?” I meant his. As in a guy’s car. As in the guy comes out while Austin is pulling up his pants and Austin says, “This is your car?” Yeah, Austin ran, but was arrested a short time later.

--I would have thought Dirk Nowitzki would have had more than just one career triple-double before notching his second on Monday. Then again I never would have associated Shaq with Owl City…

Questions, comments or if you can’t figure out why Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On” has been playing in your head for the last week…


  1. I got a sweet line i use on women all the time, thanks to Jon Lajoie. "Knock knock who's there? Its me, still wondering why your not naked." See it for yourself Brotha! Classic.


  2. Kelly was the March 2010 covergirl. Last time I was at a bookstore, the issue was already off the shelves. I'm sure with a little determined googling you can find the pics.


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