Pulled over to the river to take a rest. Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Jack, what would Kate and Jacob and more importantly your father say about a sex scandal with a stripper? And dammit why the hell did you smash the lighthouse glass? Don’t you want some freakin’ answers and did you stop to think maybe Hurley would like to see his house?
Nice comprehensive timeline for Lost here.
And because you can’t get enough Lost news…Terry O’Quinn/Locke and Michael Emerson/Ben in a show as suburban hit men? Oh hell yes.

--Wait Cop Out is getting bad reviews? No way, who could have seen that coming?

--The Box is out on DVD this week and between it being a Richard Kelly movie with the likes of Frank Langella, yeah it’s gonna be high in my queue. Where the Wild Things Are is out next week.

--I can’t imagine anyone liking Flashforward enough or hearing good things about it to pick up the DVD of Season One Part One. Whatever the hell a Part One is. And nice try teasing that there could be another blackout. Been there, done that, it was cool, but you handled the ball from that premiere on like Adrian Peterson with buttered hands.

--Congratulations to Lady Justice for finally handing Jayson Williams some jail time for that whole killing someone and attempting to cover it up thing. And to think it only took 8 years.

--In Life is Fair news…The Situation did a photo shoot for Interview magazine with Bar Rafaeli.


--Whoa, I thought we had some crazy people running Texas schools. A school board in Rhode Island fired not one, not ten, but all 88 of its teachers at Central Falls High School.

--Oh now, there are so many loose ends to tie up on Two and a Half Men and now that Charlie Sheen is going to rehab will we ever get the answers?

--If you haven't noticed Darren Collison has been tearing it up with Chris Paul out. In his 11 games in January he's averaging 21.9 points and 8.9 assists while shooting 49% from the field and 89% from the line.

--Sadly Kevin Durant's streak of 25+ point games is over at 29 after the Spurs held him to 21. Even worse he had his sh** thrown by Manu Ginobili.

--If any Texan was going to work out with Jay Glazer and some MMA-types you figured it’d be Brian Cushing. Apparently he’s been doing it for close to a month.

--I’d like to know how many hours are in Jack White’s day. Apparently he produced his wife’s newly released album.

--Fall on train tracks and get hit by a train once, shame on you. Fall on train tracks and get hit by a train twice, shame on me. This all happened within a span of two weeks to a 57-year-old man in Irvine, California. The first time he lost his left hand. See, right there if I lose a hand somewhere I’m never, ever going back to that place. Anyway, second time he was just dragged by the train some. Supposedly he’s not suicidal, but I don’t know how you explain that.

--I went to Sea World once. It sucked. Boring. Hot. And I think Shamu was out to lunch, which was disappointing because I was a big Orca fan. Don’t F with Orca. Sadly a killer whale at the Sea World in Orlando went Orca on its trainer violently shaking her to death in front of what I imagine were some traumatized kids or people who thought it was an odd choice for a trick.

--I’m down for Zoolander 2, but you’ve got to have Owen Wilson back. Apparently Jonah Hill is going to be the villain. It’s about time Jonah got some work. I watched two movies last week and he wasn’t in either one of them. Crazy.

--I can’t imagine it will seriously happen, but if Ole Miss replaces Colonel Reb with Admiral Ackbar. Well, it would be the greatest mascot in the history of mascots. Chance might even have to switch from Boise State to Ole Miss.

--Scarlett Jo and Axl Rose?! Not buying it. There's no explanation unless they're trying to outweird the Wlad/Hayden relationship. And that doesn't make sense since Scarlett is, you know, married.

--Katy sportswriter posing to girls online as the athletes he covered at Katy. Genius.

--I’m not sure Daily Show is ever going to be able to top a guest list like its had this week with Ricky Gervais, Jeff Garlin, Tracy Morgan and Martin Scorsese.

Jason Jones the latest Daily Show-er to get a shot on his own show. How To Be A Better American will be on ABC. That reminds me, where the hell is Rob Corddry? Go back to The Daily Show already.

Questions, comments or if you’re down for a game of fondue pong…