Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I wanna do the freak until the break of dawn. Now, tell me party people is that so wrong.

If I had known Lance was going to pimp this little corner of the Internets I would have cleaned up some.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Greatest newspaper correction of all-time because who doesn't get 9/11 and 911 is a Joke by Public Enemy mixed up...

--Get out of my head Deadspin...

--I’m not sure when Muse’s "Uprising" became the anthem for every sports promo or highlight, but I’m not complaining. I cannot wait to see them in concert again. I can’t imagine there has ever been a bigger drop off from one opening band to another than when Houston got Muse’s last opening act show for U2 before The Black Eyed Peas took over (shiver).

--UH and Air Force in the Armed Forces Bowl again? WTF?! How does this make sense? And why do we want to see Boise State and TCU in the same game? Put those guys against BCS conference big boys so we can, once again, see how they don’t deserve to sit at the kid’s table year after year.

--50 best protest signs in the year two thousand and nine. “Corduroy Skirts are a Sin” at 7 is my personal favorite or the “Tired of Carrying Signs” sign. Damn maybe the best is “If Liza can marry two gay men, why can’t I marry one.” Of course there’s a lot to be said for “Obama Bring Back Arrested Development.”

--Arnold’s son and Bruce’s daughter?!

--Hey, remember when Chris Brown threw that interception? That was funny, huh?

--Thank the announcing gods that Bama beat Florida up early enough so I didn’t have to listen to all four quarters of Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson. Just awful.

--Damn, already at the season finale of The League.

Season finale of Dexter as well this week. I really liked this season in the beginning, but every non Dexter-Trinity storyline has been a timewaster. The Batista/Laguerta relationship might be my most hated storyline I’ve ever endured in a show I’ve always loved. Hopefully that’s over and done with and this week we get 60 minutes of Dex v. Trinity. Last week’s final scene was one of the best in that show’s history. I imagine that's a big reason why Showtime had its biggest audience since 1999. Back in '99 it was the unforgettable Mike Tyson/Orlin Norris fight that drew them in.

--I stopped watching a few episodes ago and apparently enough people have done the same so ABC is shelving FlashForward until next March. That’s a pretty long freakin’ wait and I guess the finale isn’t going to air the same night as the date 6 months in the future that everyone jumped to which was in April.

--Speaking of shows I stopped watching a while back…Entourage. The Hollywood Reporter had a story last week that the plan is for two more seasons of the show on HBO and then a movie. Yeah, good luck with that.

--Of course Steven Seagal Lawman set a record for original programming debuts on A&E. I assume The Two Coreys held the previous mark.

--Beardy and the Voltaggios for all the marbles. It. Is. On.

--Johnny Depp as Pancho Villa?!

--Holly Sampson and Tiger? Sure why not, but why stop there. It’s like the world’s worst advent calendar for Elin. Every morning she wakes up and instead of marking off the calendar and getting a piece of chocolate or whatever she wakes up and reads about Tiger’s newest discovered skank.

--The AP came out with its list of the Top 10 TV Shows of the Decade, but it doesn’t include The Wire and does include American Idol and High School Musical so no need to discuss.

--David Stern wasn’t serious about a woman playing in the NBA within the next 10 years was he?

--Of course Kimbo and Houston went the distance. What the hell was that?
Uhhh, I know Jon Jones was DQ’d and Matt Hamill won, but please don’t put Hamill in there against Jones again. Jon Jones is a bad, bad man. I barely watched this season of TUF, but was hoping someone other than Roy Nelson was going to be in the finals. Yawn. Thankfully we have 107 on Saturday and that should be outstanding.

--Oh Brian Bonsall, no doubt defending the honor of his lesbian TV mom, was in a fight the other night. For Brian Bonsall this has become pretty typical, but I believe this is the first time he’s used a stool (sitting kind not the s*itting kind) in a throwdown.

--So TNA is gonna bring in Hogan and face off against Raw on Monday nights? Interesting. Someone tell me how that works out. No way it can be half as entertaining as the Raw/Nitro war.

--Okay let’s put an end already to this silly talk of a 96-team NCAA tournament.

--Dan Henderson to Strikeforce?!

--There’s devotion and then there’s stealing $600 worth of meat because you want to go to jail in the hopes you can see your incarcerated boyfriend.

--The Six Weirdest, Scariest Processed Foods or Things Danny Will No Longer Eat. Oreo stuffing is basically sugar-flavored Crisco? What the hell is Kraft’s Avocado Free Guacomole? Of course Easy Cheese contains a stain removing chemical. Stain removing chemicals have been a secret ingredient for restaurants for years, right?

There's Cheez-It in a freakin' can?! You see this somewhere you tell me.

--If you don’t feel for Greg Oden you have no heart. John Canzano of The Oregonian runs down the terrible times in Portland:
“Owner Paul Allen is battling non-Hodgins lymphoma. Assistant coach Maurice Lucas has cancer that is no longer in remission. Nic Batum (shoulder) is gone for the season. So is Travis Outlaw (foot). And Rudy Fernandez has nerve pain (back). And the practice before Oden went down for the season head coach Nate McMillan jumped into a practice drill due to the shortage of players and ruptured his Achilles tendon.”
Yeah, when your coach has to practice because of injuries and he gets injured, well it’s just not your year. Brandon Roy needs to get some special contacts or LASIK that makes every one of his opponents look like they’re wearing a Rockets jersey. He’d be unstoppable then, although it might get boring watching him hit every single last second, game in the balance, shot opportunity.

--What odds could you have gotten that an Oakland Raider QB was going to win AFC Offensive Player of the Week honors at some point this season?

Questions, comments or if you actually made the playoffs in all three of your fantasy leagues and expect to be out of all three by this time next week…

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