Father to many - married to none. And in case you're unaware I carry a gun

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Way to go get yourself knocked up Padma. Don’t you have a sitcom you’re supposed to be beginning soon? Apparently she’s suffered from endometriosis for years and that leads to infertility many times so I guess we’re supposed to be happy for her. I guess.

--Not that Jack Del Rio is going to be around much longer anyway, but geez Jack you’re really gonna cancel David Garrard’s radio show?! The Jaguars can’t draw flies, but their quarterback is cool enough to do a show to connect with fans and you smack it down as soon as you hear about it. Apparently he hated that the show was on a Friday less than 48 hours away from game time.

--Pitchfork put up a list of the top 200 albums of the 2000s. Modest Mouse, Daft Punk, and Radiohead all make the top 10 so the list is fine by me.

--James Franco on General Hospital?! Yeah, that’s about right. By the way, can you believe Zach is leaving All My Children?! Crazy, I know. Taylor is also leaving since AMC will be moving from New York to L.A. soon to tape and…I’ve said too much.

--AskMen.com put out a list of the 49 most influential men of 2009. At 46 we find Mario Batali who would cause me to hyperventilate if he ever came on Southbound Food. LeBron finished two spots higher (42) than Robert Pattinson so he has that going for him. GSP at 36 behind Andy Roddick (35)? Kanye at 26 two spots ahead of Manny Pacquiao. Quentin Tarantino and Conan at 15 and 16. Jon Stewart should be higher but is 13th. Hopefully Colbert goes after this list on the Report since he's not on it. Jay-Z at 11 while Dana White finds himself at 10. Peyton and Federer at 9 and 8. Michael Jackson at 6, umm, okay. Simon Cowell is an inspiration for us all with as much money as he's making for what I don't know. Simon at 5. A Barack Obama at 3. 2 is Usain Bolt who influences us to run at speeds no other human ever has. Number 1? Don F'n Draper. WWDDD is a way of life.

--Apparently Shawn Chacon passed $150,000 in bad checks at Caesar’s. Julius frowns at that sort of thing.

--I don’t know which is more unbelievable Tennessee at 0-4 or Denver at 4-0. I know which one is more hilarious. Kyle Orton is 25-12 in his career starts. Wow.

--Esquire says Kate Beckinsale is the Sexiest Woman Alive and who am I to argue now that Padma has a well-prepared bun in the oven.

--Ineptitude thy name is Jamarcus Russell. It must suck to be a Raiders fan or a guy who started Darren McFadden on two teams just cause it was the Texans defense. &*%!~*#&!

--This is shaping up to be an outstanding season of Dexter. John Lithgow is so perfect for a role like this. Now if we can just drop the romantic storylines of Batista/Maria and Deb/Pedro.

--I’ve never watched a second of How I Met Your Mother, but maybe for Rachel Bilson I’ll actually watch CBS in primetime. Don’t think I’ve done that since Wiseguy.

--For those of us who are incredibly lame and never went to see Hangover…December 15th out on DVD.

--I wish I ran into Cheryl Hines everywhere I went like Larry. Great episode, but let’s not get crazy and start having entire episodes without the man, the myth, the Leon.

--Rams are on pace to score 96 points this entire season or what used to be a normal total for two games. Stay healthy Steven. We have two more weeks until it’s a full calendar year since the Rams last win. At least Rush in on the way. Remember when Rush was on ESPN’s Sunday Countdown? Good times. Wonder why he decided to leave?

--Congratulations to Chris Evert and Greg Norman who made it over a year (15 months) before separating.

--Baseball doesn’t give us things like, you know, excitement or fast pacing, but it does give us great quotes. Jayson Stark rounded them all up.
Hard to top Ichiro talking about how underrated infield hits are:
"Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out."

--Things are bad all over in Michigan so when a nice young man asks you out you think finally a little ray of sunshine. So first date comes and 24-year-old Terrance McCoy gets picked up by a nice 27-year-old woman who drives them to a restaurant, we’ll go with T.G.Rockappili’s. They sit down and wouldn’t you know that the guy left his wallet in her car. So he politely asks for her cars and then he politely steals her car. A court politely sentenced him to a minimum of two years in jail which puts him better off than 85% of other Michiganites.

--Why wouldn’t Fantasy Island be turned into a reality show?

--Somehow I’ve avoiding getting a Twitter account, but will likely cave in at some point. A solid, lengthy list of TV-related twitterers.

Questions, comments or if you must be getting old the highlight of your weekend was looking at rocks at the Houston Museum of Science...