Thursday, April 02, 2009

Well I'm Mike D and I'm back from the dead. Chillin' at the beaches down at Club Med.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I hate you...

--A Memphis station was really showing a 24-hour webcam shot of Memphis' AD office waiting for John Calipari?! Geez, Tennessee. You need to get out more often.

--Kenny Powers comes to DVD on June 23rd!
April in her cheerleading days.

--Bruno got an NC-17 rating? How very surprising.

--I thought this show ended a long time ago, but apparently MTV has given The Real World four more seasons. Speaking of MTV (what's the "M" stand for again?), Michael Westbrook was on something called Bully Beatdown.

--Something much more promising comes to us from the tag team of Bischoff/Hervey (Eric Bischoff from WCW and regrettably WWE and Jason Hervey/Wayne from Wonder Years). Apparently CMT has ordered up some episodes of Runnin' Wild....from Ted Nugent. First Nugent will teach some people survival skills out in the wild. And then, as you might expect, Nugent and his 18-year-old son will hunt them down. Bravo, bravo.

--Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Two More Seasons! It'll be the same way as last season with DirecTV getting these seasons first before NBC airs them, which is just stupid, but hey two more seasons.

--A pardon is ridiculously overdue for Jack Johnson, but either way a tip of the hat to John McCain for getting this going again. Unforgivable Blackness was a great Ken Burns documentary and even greater book by Geoffrey C. Ward.

--Two weeks and I'm already missing Battlestar.

--Baseball hasn't even started, but more minor league promotion goodness comes to us from the Quad Cities River Bandits. The fans had three choices of promos and picked the worst, unfortunately. Bandit Wedding over Van Down by the River and Elvis Night?! Bandit Wedding consists of a wedding, yay. Fortunately the team is going to use the other two promos as well. Van Down by the River will give eight fans at each game the opportunity to watch said game from, well, a van by the Mississippi River which is close to the right field berm. They'll also fund a "Jack Squat Jackpot" and if a homer hits the van the fans in the van get half the jackpot with the other half going to charity. Awesome. Elvis Night is your typical Elvis Night.

Next month the Reading Phillies bring us gluttonous goodness with the aptly titled "Gluttony Night." For the low price of $12 a person you can gorge yourself on all the park has to offer from the time the gates open until the 7th inning stretch. No limit except smartly one item at a time, per person to keep the lines moving because no one wants to be behind me while I wait on my five funnel cakes.

And one more trip, this time out to Grand Prairie where the AirHogs are giving us Octomom Night (side note, I'm glad someone is paying attention to her. Never see or hear about enough).
There will be your typical Diaper Derby, Stroller Race, and a "Guess How Many Buns I have in my EZ Bake Oven. Groups of 8 get in for half price and if the AirHogs score at least 8 runs everyone gets a free ticket.

--I can't remember the last time I used what our grandparents called "stamps." But Simpsons stamps sound promising.


--What would Aaron Brooks think about three Oregon Duck basketball players shooting BB guns at ducks? Apparently the three idiots were shooting ducks and geese at a pond when someone called the cops. The cops came and saw the guys shooting away and told them to put their hands in the air. Of course that was the clue for one of the guys to throw his BB handgun into the pond. Smart guy. Smarter cops. The duck hunters received some citations.
Holy crap, I can't imagine how much time that took, but obviously it was well worth it. Awesome.

--Kendra Wilkinson has her own stripper pole coming out and told Us:
"It's like Carmen Electra's, but mine is better," she continued. "Mine will connect to the ceiling, and you can spin on it and do all that stuff on it." I guess if you're a dad you'd rather your daughter grow up and release a line of her own stripper poles than perform on them on a nightly basis.

--Megan Fox and Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 Weeks remake?! No, but it will be a remake of Angelheart....or maybe something else all together...

--Because Gravy Bath Salts are three fantastic words to put together...

--How bad is the economy about now? Florida is mailing out two-for-one coupons for lottery tickets.

--There's bad luck and then there's Jessie on Breaking Bad. BBad is getting a third season.

--Bret & Jemaine tried to warn us about these Australians...27-year-old Ronnie Gander is our Aussie pimp. Ronnie and his 16-year-old girlfriend got another 16-year-old to have relations with five guys while Ronnie collected $4,500. I don't know what the standard pay is in Australia, but Ronnie paid his prostitute with "an occasional box of chicken nuggets." No word on what she had to do if she wanted bbq or sweet and sour sauce with the nuggets.

Questions, comments, or if you can't stop laughing at Glenn Beck...


  1. Anonymous8:42 AM

    HoustonDieHards has a post that says McNair was offered $10 mil for the rights to the Oilers but turned it down.

    I have never heard this before.

  2. Never heard that before. I can't imagine Bud offering that considering how much he treasures that history and identity.


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