Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I've got science for any occasion. Postulating theorems formulating equations.

You're F'n Out

I am so sick your crap Tracy. It's never easy to question a person's heart. But it's hard to believe you have a heart for basketball, for competition, for teammates, much less for us fans. The way you've gone about this season has been an embarrassment for you. Most athletes will search high and low for a doctor who will tell him he can play, but you searched nationwide to find one who would tell you what you wanted to hear – that you needed a little vacation. Of course, that may be the result of yet another self-diagnosis from Dr. McGrady. How long did you google "knee pain" to come up with the one that would end your Rockets career. It is laughable that you think that after a year and a half vacation a team is going to pay you good money in the summer of LeBron. What an absolute joke and I don't see how anyone playing the game thinks otherwise. "Something great is gonna happen here." "Impose my will." "It's all on me." "I'm gonna have the last laugh." Yeah, right. Good luck peddling that crap somewhere else and enjoy watching the Rockets get out of the first round this year knowing you had not a damn thing to do with it.

Things tougher than McGrady…

--wet tissue paper


--Pillsbury doughboy

--pink marshmallow peeps


--Jessica Simpson's feelings


--Clay Aiken

--a John Denver song

--a newborn baby's skin


--Of course the Suns in Alvin Gentry's first game scored more points (140) than they ever did in the Mike D'Antoni era.

--Lamar Odom has been wrecking since Andrew Bynum went out. Four straight games he's had at least 17 boards.

--Some guys just stay hot…Kevin Durant 47 points. Dwight Howard 45 points, 19 rebounds, 8 blocks. Nate Robinson 32 points.

--D-League Dunk Contest >>>> NBA Dunk Contest
This is just one of them, but he actually jumps from behind the free throw line. How novel.

--Zach Randolph got just two games for standing over and then punching a guy with a ponytail. Zach's with quotey goodness afterwards, "He hopped up and got in my face and almost kissed me in my mouth… I just pushed him out of my face. If I would have hit him, he wouldn’t have got up off the ground."

--I think With Leather called it best when it called Rumble (really, Rumble?) a cross between Teen Wolf and Miss Piggy.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Way to be accountable Bud. I'm not asking for you to say you were an eyewitnesses to the daily communion of needles and asses, but how about, "I must not have done enough because it was a problem while I was on watch." Or, "I was old and stupid." That seems to be working for A-Rod who considers 27 years old as being young. Loved when Alex gave Ripped Fuel a shout. That was my performance enhancer when I waited tables back in the day.

--I'm pretty sure you've seen it by now and maybe even Granato has, but in summary. Eastbound & Down. HBO. Sundays. 9:30. You're F'n Out!!

--Carrie Underwood and an Ottawa Senator?! I think soccer, golf and hockey have shown us there is direct correlation between the hotness of your girl that is inversely proportionate to the "popularity" of your sport.

--I've played more than my fair share of Wii Sports, but haven't come across Wii Fit. Fortunately for the Padres possible new closer Heath Bell took up Wii Fit in the offseason. Heath told the AP: "It said I was obese," Bell said. "If you're obese, it makes (your character on screen) obese. I was disappointed that I was that big. I literally took the game to heart. I did the work, but I kind of credit the Wii Fit."

--Basketball - Restoring Faith in Mankind One Game at a Time....By now surely you've seen the story on Patrick Thibodeau. He's the Maine high schooler who has Down Syndrome and really you just have to watch the story.
The other story comes to us from a game between schools from Illinois and Wisconsin. Senior captain Johntell Franklin endured a miserable Saturday two weeks ago. In the morning and afternoon Johntell was taking the ACT. Late that afternoon his mother who had cervical cancer started hemorraging in the hospital and the decision was made to take her off life support. The Madison coach, Aaron Womack Jr., soon found out and asked Johntell if he should cancel the game. Johntell told him no and the coach from Illinois' DeKalb High was understanding enough to tell Johntell's coach to take all the time he and his team needed before starting the game. So the tip was delayed by two hours while Then early in the 2nd quarter to everyone's surprise Johntell showed up ready to play. One minor problem was that Johntell's coach didn't list him on the roster and so a technical would be assessed if he came checked in. For 7 minutes DeKalb's coaches argued with the refs that they didn't want to shoot technical free throws under these circumstances. The referees stuck to the rules. DeKalb coach Dave Rohlman, "I gathered my kids and said, 'Who wants to take these free throws?' Darius McNeal (a 5-11 senior point guard) put up his hand. I said, 'You realize you're going to miss, right?' He nodded his head." The kid "shot" two free throws two feet in front of him as both teams and both school's fans applauded. Madison won the game, but DeKalb's coaches and players won the respect and praise of whoever hears this story. By the way, Johntell is said to be getting some football interest from Ball State.

--Honestly Rachel Bilson you could have done a whole helluva lot better than getting engaged to "actor" Hayden Christenson.

--I really wasn't sold on the whole Mt. Rushmore ESPN timewaster until I saw Rick Reilly in front of the mountain graphic with a fanny pack and binoculars. Legit.

--SI didn't put Gina Carano in the swimsuit issue because???

--Fight Night 95 coming up this weekend with Diego Sanchez v. Joe Stevenson and Nate Marquardt v. Wilson Gouveia the headline bouts. Some of the Brawl Sports Predictions Panel for you after the jump (someday I'll have "jump") or after below the comments. Looking forward to seeing Demian Maia display more of the same sick jiu jitsu he's shown us in all four of his UFC fights of which three ended in Submission of the Night honors. Diego and Joe should be good and either way if Diego is back together with Ali Sonoma his night will probably turn out to be just fine.

--This is Conan's last week in his usual late night spot from New York. The White Stripes play the show on Friday so that'll be a DVR. If I hadn't said it before U2 joins Letterman all week the first week of March.

--Non-Sylar scenes are becoming tedious.

--The USC Song Girls are hitting E! for some reality show called Hot Girls in Scary Places. Apparently the girls are going to, aw who the hell cares they're the Song Girls, you're watching.

--Stop! Hammertime. Seriously how did Hammer not have a reality show until now? We can thank(?) A&E.

--There are worse things in life than taking George Clooney's leftovers. Apparently, Brian Urlacher swaggered his way into Sarah Larson's life.

--Mickey Rourke's pet chihuahua died?! That's like Mr. G without Celine.

--A Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction tour this year?! Out-fn-standing.

--Breaking Bad returns March 8th and they're putting some webisodes out there to get people reacquainted with the gang again.

Questions, comments or if you're just young and stupid...

The Ultimate Fighter 2 winner Joe Stevenson will take on The Ultimate Fighter 1 winner Diego Sanchez in the main event at UFC 95.

After losing to B.J. Penn and Kenny Florian, Stevenson will be fighting to reestablish himself as a top lightweight contender. While Sanchez will look to rock the UFC lightweight division as he makes his debut at 155.

Brawl Sports Panel Predictions:

Danny Vara: Diego makes his big weight drop to the lightweight division for a good match up that will likely be decided on the ground. Neither guy is going to be confused with Juan Diaz while standing up. Though I think you have to give the edge to Diego with his height and reach advantages. Diego has run his mouth a lot going into this one, but what's new? If he didn't that'd be like Kenny Powers going a full sentence without dropping one or several f-bombs. It just wouldn't be right. I have five bucks for anyone who submits an opponent and then yells, "You're f'n out!" Hard to go against a Cobra Kai guy, but Diego's sweep-the-leg defense is strong. Diego will come charging at Joe and won't let up until he gets his hand raised.

Prediction: Sanchez via unanimous decision

Jeremy Botter: The last time I talked to someone associated with Diego, they told me he weighed 205 pounds. This was January 8th, which means that Sanchez had to cut fifty pounds in a month in order to make weight for the fight against Stevenson. I'm not saying it's not possible, because anything is possible when you're dealing with guys who have been cutting weight their entire lives, but fifty pounds above the weight limit with a month to go generally means that you haven't been training as hard as you should.

Not only that, but Diego's been hanging out with Dan Quinn, a man who makes the insane look completely normal and healthy. Quinn developed a following on YouTube talking about Stevia, a sugar substitute that he claims is a miracle cure for all sorts of diseases, including cancer. Yes, cancer. Not only that, but one of Quinn's theories is that the US government poisons birds so that they will poop, we'll step on it and track it into our houses, where our vacuums will turn it into a poisonous gas and thus kick off another holocaust.

Yes, Diego has been hanging out with this man.

Diego's talking about Stevia, too, which leads me to believe that he's not focused on the fight. Sure, he says he is, but it's very strange to see Diego talking about a miracle supplement that will help him win a fight instead of, you know, training for the fight.

Joe Stevenson is good, too. He has the worst nickname in all of fighting, but I like Joe Stevenson, and outside of his one-sided mauling at the hands of B.J. Penn a year ago, he's looked good. The odds in this fight are way higher than I think they should be, especially since I think Stevenson is going to win the fight.

Prediction: Stevenson via TKO in Round 2

Jared Barnes: Dropping down to lightweight was a fantastic decision by Sanchez. The only thing that was holding him back as a welterweight was his inability to handle giant wrestlers like Josh Koscheck and Jon Fitch. At lightweight, that's no longer going to be a problem.

Between the 2 fighters, Sanchez is the better striker, the more dynamic grappler and the bigger fighter. The one issue I see Sanchez having is trying to fight from his back too much. Against a fighter like Stevenson, who has a really good top game, that could be a problem. But, Sanchez is a smart fighter and I don't see him making that mistake.

I see Sanchez coming out fast and strong and looking to overwhelm Stevenson early. If he's successful, and he will be, we'll be talking about Sanchez alongside Penn and Florian as the UFC's best lightweights come Sunday morning.

Prediction: Sanchez via TKO in Round 2

The Brawl Sports Panel picks Sanchez 2-1. Who are you taking and why?

• • •

Support the Brawl Sports MMA Panel contributors by visiting their blogs at:

Danny's Diatribes

Inside Fights

1 comment:

  1. I do not see how any of you are picking Diego. Has there been anyone drop weight and have a good fight against a quality opponent?
    I can't think of one. I think Joe has better ground skills and will not let the fight be a stand-up battle.
    If the reports of him hanging out with Dan Quinn are true, God help us all.
    Joe Daddy by unanimous decision
    I do agree that in the long run Diego dropping down will be good. Not if he keeps popping off about BJ though.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.