Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I've got the D double O, D double O style. Here we go again because it's been awhile.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--How about my boy Manny!

--There's an IWouldDoLaylaKiffin.com?!

-Kristen Stewart is your Joan Jett in The Runaways movie.

--The next edition of Celebrity Apprentice is gonna be two-hour episodes? Wow, aren't we lucky to have the opportunity to spend two hours ever week with Joan AND Melissa Rivers, Clint Black, Tom Green, Andrew Dice Clay, and who knows who else. Two questions starting with 2nd...Who watches Celebrity Apprentice? 1st...Who watches The Apprentice?

--Is there a higher compliment than being called The British Erin Andrews? Charlotte Jackson works for some British sports network you've never heard of, but most importantly she's taken much better pictures than Erin Andrews.

--I've often wondered what reason Al Gore had for creating the Internets and it is now clear. Baby Mangino and Baby JoePa. Who's next?

--Harland Williams gonna host a vaudeville show on TBS? Just stand back and watch the ratings soar!

--30 Rock and Don Draper colliding can only be a good thing.

--Does it count as a reality show if it's on TV Land? Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, oh the joy.

--An hour-long Office roast of Michael right after the Super Bowl?! God bless America.

--It's that time of year again. Yep, you guessed it. Time for Barbara Walters' Top 10 Most Fascinating People of the Year. Roll 'em Babwa. Will Smith, wait what? Will Smith? People were fascinated by Hancock?! That's all he did. Sarah Palin - well duh. Barack Obama - never heard of him. Tom Cruise - I hear he was hilarious in Tropic Thunder, but is there something else? Is Valkyrie even out? Erin Andrews - just kidding. Frank Langella - I guess he's Nixon in that new movie, but it's not like he's, you know, Nixon. Thomas Beatie - you might remember this person as the she who became a he and is having a baby. Great. Rush Limbaugh - I repeat it's 2008. Not to be cliche, but he is what he is and he's been that for a long time. Tina Fey - Word. Miley Cyrus - I guess. Michael Phelps - I'm fascinated by how personality-less he is. And there ya go. Hillary woulda been a good choice. Robert Downey Jr. is a much better choice than Will. Judd Apatow owns Hollywood. Kanye is just awesome to listen to. And obviously Dikembe Mutombo. Seriously Barbara Walters and Deke, make it happen.

--Writing of Colbert and Kanye...ya know ya can't mess with the Colbert Nation. Stephen launched Operation Humble Kanye last week since Kanye's new album (outstanding) was the top seller and Colbert's Christmas album was not even close. Maybe you saw Kanye call himself the "voice of this generation this decade." Colbert heard and said Kanye has as much influence on this generation as Crocs. Colbert mobilized The Nation and ordered everyone to buy his album at exactly 5pm last Thursday and of course it worked and his album jumped ahead of Kanye's. Never underestimate the power of cheese or Colbert.

--You've had a bad day if on Thanksgiving morning you wake up to find your Audi's wheels were stolen overnight and now your car is on blocks. They immediately filed a police report and waited for new parts. The city decided to help them out by towing the car to an impound lot complete with cinder blocks. Yeah, that was an estimated $20,000 worth of additional damage. Oh and a $250 ticket because the car was deemed a safety hazard by the city. Happy Holidays!

--Stacey Dales done at ESPN?

--Those whore Bratz dolls lost their infringement lawsuit to Mattel so if for some terrible reason your daughter wants a skank role model Bratz will be on shelves through the year.

--Someone named Starr Spangler (seriously mom and dad my last name is Spangler and now I have to be named Starr) and her brother won The Amazing Race (because Steve Slaton wasn't in it). She was a Cowboys cheerleader.

--Leno Monday through Friday at 9pm this fall?!

Questions, comments or if you didn't start Antonio Bryant, but you're not upset because the Saints WRs you did start went nuts for like 70 combined yards and 70 is really close to 200 and who cares it's just fantasy football anyway, I mean, it's not like I spent months trying to get through injuries and Reggie Wayne's crap year only to fall short because I didn't start a receiver who had 200 yards and what's that? Two touchdowns as well? Yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, I f'n hate to love fantasy football...

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