Wednesday, October 22, 2008

"Now I got the gun you got the brew. You got two choices of what you can do

Bits O' Football

--One thing is pretty obvious after watching them last week, the Lions are a special kind of suck. They've had six games and in four of them they've fallen behind 21-0. We're almost midway through the season and they're still, STILL looking for their first points in the 1st quarter.

--The other winless team visits Reliant on Sunday. Let's see how bad the Bengals are...They are dead last in total offense...given up 9 more sacks already than they did all of last season...31st in yards rushing per game (Colts dead last - wow)...32nd in yards per carry...Ryan Fitzpatrick has twice led them in rushing.

--The Ravens have gone 25 straight games without allowing a 100-yard rusher. Both Baltimore and Pittsburgh are holding opposing teams to under 70 yards rushing a game.

--The Cardinals longest run of the season is for a measly 17 yards by Kurt Warner. Yeah right I assume that longest run came on a reverse to Anquan or Larry.

--No one can match what Tennessee has on each of its lines. Let's count how many times Kerry Collins has been sacked. One, tw..wait, just once. Ridiculous. Tennessee hasn't been sacked since Week 2.

--Only Tyler Thigpen has a worse quarterback rating than either Derek Anderson or Matt Hasselbeck.

--Kris Brown, Rob Bironas, Jason Hanson, Jon Kasay and Jeff Reed are your only perfect kickers.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Moneyball is going to be made into a movie?! Very good book, but a movie?!

--EliteXC we hardly knew ye...

--If I didn't see it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed 43-year-old Bernard Hopkins could dominate my boy Kelly Pavlik like he did. Just incredible. I can't believe I'm hoping Roy Jones Jr. looks good and beats Joe Calzaghe to set up Hopkins-Jones II: 16 Years is Long Enough

--Big surprise, Sarah Palin helped Saturday Night Live achieve its highest rating in 14 years. That blast from the past episode was hosted by Nancy Kerrigan with musical guest Aretha Franklin.

--Your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Facebook Story of the Week comes to us from the UK. 'Twas there Wayne and Emma Forrester separated for several days. Wayne was taking it well what with his threatening phone calls and such. Then Emma changed her Facebook status to "single." Unfortunately that was her last Facebook entry ever. Wayne drank and did some coke then drove to her place and found her sleeping in bed. Wayne then proceeded to hack her to death with a meat cleaver and kitchen knife.

--Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was rightly renewed by Fox and so will complete its season. Big bonus if Brian Austin Green would ever bring his girl to guest star...

--The final ten episodes of the awesome Battlestar Galactica begin on January 16th.

--Oh yeah, this wasn't intentional at all. Self-defense, for sure...

--The winner of Rich Franklin and Dan Henderson is going to be a coach on The Ultimate Fighter: US vs. UK and fight Michael Bisping at show's end? Out-standing.

--Daryl Morey - blogger of the people.

--Derek Jeter's Saturday night was a good night.

--I watched Life on Mars' first episode, but then like 25% of its premiere audience I didn't go back for more.

--Gotta love Lubbock. 25-year-old crazy guy Tye Burke was watching his child play soccer or at least sit around picking at flowers on the sidelines. Because Tye started yelling at the female head coach of his child's team. Mind you we're talking about 7 and 8-year-olds here. So Tye starts screaming down the coach. Coach's husband starts yelling at Tye who answers in the most stereotypical way possible. That's right, he brought out his six-shooter and pointed at the husband's head. Enter the off-duty prison guard who tackled Tye and got the gun from him. Enter the police.

--Former Texan Jason Bell got himself a WAG by the name of Nadine Coyle?!
Nadine Velasquez still the hottest Nadine.

--Awesome news that Zeljko Ivanek will be The Hunter on Heroes. He's been in everything from Lost to 24 to Damages when he won himself a Golden Globe.

--Apparently if police are attempting to pull you over in Utah your best chance is to try and outrun them and remember alfalfa field = good. Some guy was doing doughnuts in a golf cart in a city park in Morgan when he saw the cops coming in his direction. Chase ensued, but was essentially over when the golf cart guy drove into an alfalfa field and started jumping over irrigation ditches that the cops couldn't jump. For the cops part they said they expect that the golf cart was souped up.

--I wasn't half as good as this Best Man...

--Latest Daily Show'er to get his own sitcom is Rob Riggle.

--Damn, Mad Men season finale already?

Questions, comments or if you've hilariously been labeled a "martyr" in the past week...

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