Riding across the land, kicking up sand. Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--You know how I know I'm gay? I recorded and then watched the Opening Ceremonies. In my defense they were enhanced. The 4 x 100 relay on Sunday night with Jason Lezak sucking up that Frenchy to win the gold was just AMAZING. Until Phelps gets that 8th gold (and he will) I can't imagine a better Olympic moment happening.

--Sounds promising...Mark Wahlberg and Martin Scorsese developing an HBO series, Boardwalk Empire, based on Atlantic City in the 1920s.

--And I thought the Joker face that they ended up going with was freaky looking. This was one of the early versions.

--Seriously, who do you want to punch more? The idiot who has his ridiculous college football rap or song or whatever broadcasted on College Football Live or the idiot who decided it would be a good idea to subject the nation to these losers.

--Holly Madison out for Hef and 2007 Ukranian Playmate of the Year, Dasha Astafieva in?

--Tom Selleck in on Dancing with the Stars. Cloris Leachman = rejected.

--Hailey Jo Hauer of Fergus Falls, Minnesota was born last Friday, 8/8/08 and I bet you can't guess what time. Yeah, 8:08. Her weight? 8 pounds, 8 ounces. Thankfully she was taller than 8 inches. --How good is MJD's Madden commercial?

--Because I normally don't pay much attention to the Marlins or beach volleyball I had no idea Matt Treanor was married to Misty May.
Dubya with some on shore drilling in mind.

--Your jackass towing company of the week comes to us from Chicago. There Rendered Services Inc. waited until everyone parked in order to attend a big parade and then Rendered decided the time was right to post towing notices. Only Rendered knows how many cars it got, but it towed 50 out of one vacant/parking lot alone.

--The Boss at the Super Bowl. Who cares, right? Much more importantly The Office is getting a one-hour slot right after the Super Bowl.

--Ryan Braun could be MVP, could make the playoffs, could win a World Series and yet how could any day this year match the day he spent shooting a commercial with Marissa Miller?

--Forbes came out with its list of Top 10 Celebrity Chef Earners. I'm thinking you can guess who's #1. Yeah, EVOO comes to mind. Anyway, we start at 10 with the man, the myth, the Bourdain. No Reservations is very strong and he's the best judge Top Chef has ever had. At #9 is Bobby Flay who gives the us the biggest WhyTF minute of any show. Seriously, what's the point of that whole stupid hand off for Throwdown? Both of those guys pull in about $1.5 million. Tom Colicchio with $2 mil at 8. $4.5 million for recipes that start with a stick of butter, end with a stick of butter with a 2 cups of heavy cream in the middle. Yeah, Paula Deen. Paula's Party has the most unintentional comedy per minute than any other foodie show. My man Mario Batali is #6. Molto Mario still has reruns on and that's a welcome thing as opposed to things like, oh I don't know, Big Daddy's House. No offense Aaron, but I watched your first show and well...Alain Ducasse at 5. Nobu Matsuhisa at 4. Gordon mf'n Ramsay whose shows on BBC America far outweigh his Fox offerings pulls $7.5 million in to check in at 3. Number 2 is Wolfgang Puck with $16 million. And pulling in $18 million is Rachael Ray. The true #1 is obviously one Padma Lakshmi.


--This week's hot Olympian is Paraguay javelin thrower Leryn Franco.

--Are you more excited that football that counts is right around the corner or that you won't have to hear Sean Salisbury on ESPN?

--I'm reminded each and every Sunday night that Mad Men is the best written, best acted show on television.

--Seth Green and Breckin Meyer gonna do a short spin on Heroes?! How awesome are those promos? Sylar and Claire Bear. Hiro and Female Flash.

--RIP Bernie Mac. RIP Isaac Hayes.

Questions, comments, or if you still can't believe that Bernie Mac is no longer with us...