Monday, December 03, 2007

Sipping pints of ale out the window sill

Seriously Dynamo Season Starts When?

Is there really any need to go over the Texans latest loss to that piece of crap's team - the Titans. Bud Adams is a piece of sh** and like most pieces of sh** he's lingering on this earth far too long. I'm sick of losing to him and those hillbillies. Get f'n mad Texans you've beaten that division rival all of two times in your history! That is unacceptable. Keep twisting that knife Bud with your petty crap like honoring Bruce Mathews when the Texans are visiting because one of these days we're going to pull that knife out of us and stick it where you should have a heart.

--Speaking of heart let's talk about the Rockets. Oh wait, yeah...

--Now you know how Belichick likes his PBJs...

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Ummm, Matt Saracen dumped her on Friday Night Lights...

Seriously Matt, I mean we all like the Hispanic live-in nurse your grandmother has, but...

--Despite seeing that Maya Rudolph was in it I watched Idiocracy. Good stuff and more plausible than it should be.

--Under the radar but solid Christmas gift: Dr. Katz Complete Series DVD.

--You only have to wait until March to get Imaginationland's three episodes on DVD.

--Mental note: Record Oswald's Ghost on PBS come January 14, 2008. Love me some JFK conspiracy.

--George Takei/Sulu/Hiro Nakamura's father is going to have a brief cameo in Star Trek XI.

--Superbad is out on DVD and that's a very, very good thing.

--Has David Cross earned enough hilarious cool points to forgive him for Alvin and the Chipmunks?

--Much like Hooch, Montel is crazy. Montel Williams was in Savannah the other day helping out with a program that gives free prescriptions to people with low-incomes. So far, so good. Then a high school intern at some Savannah newspaper asked him, "Do you think pharmaceutical companies would be discouraged from research and development if their profits were restricted?" Montel showed a little crazy and ended the interview right then instead of, you know, answering the question. Later the intern and her co-workers went to this hotel for an unrelated story and who should be there but Montel. That's when crazy time started.
"As we were preparing to film, Montel walked up with his bodyguard and got in Courtney Scott's face pointing his finger telling her 'Don't look at me like that. Do you know who I am? I'm a big star, and I can look you up, find where you live and blow you up."
Blow you up?! Of course a little bit later Montel calmed the F down and issued an apology.

--Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen?!

--Aren't we lucky Nicholas Cage wants to do another Ghost Rider movie.

--Holy crap if Megan Gale is really going to be Wonder Woman in that Justice League movie then we're all in good hands...

--Evel Knievel is dead though you better check again because that's one tough sumbitch.

--There's going to be an American Gangster sequel?!

Things I Learned on Television This Week

--Eliot Ness was just a bit player in bringing down Al Capone. And don't think I didn't hate hearing that. Ness ended up being a poor drunk who embellished his memoirs to make a book he didn't live to see published. I don't know what to believe in anymore. F'n Untouchables special on Discovery Times! Next they'll tell me Sean Connery wasn't named Malone and didn't tell that wannabe tough guy, "Isn't that just like a wop? Brings a knife to a gun fight." Thankfully they didn't dispell that, that would've made me seek entertainment on something other than Discovery Times and what's more entertaining than Discovery Times?

--Dateline: Predator rules. Thank you for making yourselves relevant MSNBC with your replays. I mean seriously dude, you're 56, successful, compose music, have a family, and you bring the 13 year-old you've been chatting with your CD?! How bout the dude who emailed a teen a picture of his junk, but didn't even use a picture of his own, but someone else's?!

--Boondocks taught me the Kumate is real.

--The History Channel's Hippies learned me that Woodstock had one doctor for every 22,000 hippies.

--Hook'd: Illegal Drugs and How They Got That Way learned me Marijuana can grow anywhere on earth except the Arctic Circle and it was Napoleon Bonaparte's army which introduced cannabis to Europe.

--Diners, Drive-Ins and whatever learned me you can deep fry an entire hamburger. I will be trying this very soon.


--We head to Arkansas for our fun taser story of the week...In Blytheville cops were looking for 'Travis Henderson' who had a warrant out for failing to appear in court on a reckless driving charge. Clearly this guy is a menace to society and needed to be dealt with A.S.A.P. So a couple of cops recognized 'Travis Henderson' jogging. The cop recognized him because this Travis like the other was a black man except this Travis was a medalist in Special Olympics who had been featured in the news before. The Travis the police wanted, yeah, was not this one. Obviously we're going in a great direction here. So the cops talk to Special Olympics Travis and he is confused and pulls away and ZAP! "Ain't so fast now are ya boy?" (Cops may not have said that...may) Travis was then placed into custody. Some TV station in Arkansas reported two priceless exchanges. First the station asked the police department if the cops checked the Travis's birthdates to see if they matched. The cops said, "We checked and they were very similar, but not the same." Oh, okay. Then the station got the tape from a camera that was mounted on the taser. It relayed this conversation:
"(Officer Ward) O.K., don't resist..."
"(Henderson) O.K."
"(Officer Ward)...'cause you're gonna get Tased."
"(Henderson) I'm not..."
Lawsuit activation in 3, 2, 1...

--Floyd and Ricky this weekend. I'd love to see Hatton win, but there's no way, right? By the way, Vernon Forrest and Antonio Tarver each won this weekend, yawn.

--If you missed the Big 12/Pac 10 Challenge or whatever they call it you missed some great basketball.

Questions, comments or if you want LSU to layeth the smacketh down on Ohio State...

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