Monday, November 26, 2007

Now I chill real ill when I start to chill

Crap, When Does The Dynamo Season Start?

Houston, we have a problem (see what I did there? I used a phrase from the popular movie Apollo 13 to make an amusing point about something completely unrelated to the space program, but because Houston is common to both NASA and the Texans I can use the phrase and now I'm trademarking it because I feel confident I'm the first person to ever utter it without referencing the movie, probably soon you'll start hearing announcers use the phrase and you'll probably see it on posterboards when Houston teams visit cities and you can think back to November 26th, 2007 when you read it first on the 'Tribes). Where was I? Oh yeah, the Texans came up with a pretty uninspired performance against a decent Cleveland team. This one, like all of them, was about turnovers. The Texans had three (and yes that first INT was b.s. because the linebacker clearly went through Joel Dreesen for the pick) and the Browns turned two of them into points while Houston forced just once and that wasn't really forced as much as it was Derek Anderson going stupid for a second. For once it actually appeared the Texans did need to run the ball more than pass. Cleveland ran on just 11 plays in the first half, but rushed 23 times in the second half to dominate time of possession 2:1. The Texans' D-line was great a week ago, but was non-existent Sunday. What happened to Mario playing with his hand off the ground? The Texans sit at 5-6 and hopefully Albert Haynesworth sits another week because if he does I the Texans will take care of business in Nashville.

--Eat it New England the Niners won so now you might have to settle for the 3rd or even 4th pick in the next draft instead of the 2nd. How does that taste? There's no way you'll recover from this. By the way, rookie Patrick Willis had 17 solo tackles in that crazy game against the Cardinals. He leads the league with 110. Willis is first in solo tackles followed by this guy named DeMeco.

--David Garrard has yet to throw a pick and yet Jacksonville as a team doesn't lead the league in fewest thrown INTs. That honor goes to?....Tampa Bay has been intercepted just four times. The Saints have been sacked a league-low eight times.

--The Bills and Ravens ain't very good with the whole passing thing. They've thrown just 6 TDs each as a team. The fewest passing TDs in the league?...that would be Tennessee.

--Vince Young's QB rating is right between Cleo Lemon's and Rex Grossman's.

--Yeah, he's basically missed 2 and a half games and yet Adrian Peterson still leads the league in rushing. Freakin' Ronnie Brown started the season with back-to-back under 40-yard rushing games and then his season ended in Week 7 and yet Ronnie is still 20th in rushing yards.

--I'm thankful I wasn't Matt Henry on Saturday...

--We have four receivers who have gone double-digit TDs. We have zero, zero RBs who have more than 9 rushing scores.

--NE K Stephen Gostkowski has 58 extra points or as many as Rob Bironas, Morten Andersen, Jeff Wilkins and Joe Nedney combined.

--In retrospect I probably should've posted "an Emmitt" every week this season. Who's the coach of Cleveland?

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--This could be promising...

Also promising that Georges St. Pierre is stepping in for Matt Serra against Matt Hughes in the December PPV. That is one helluva card to send 2007 out on.

--Hulkster and Mrs. Hulkster done?! Probably would've been cooler if Hulk didn't learn about it from a reporter.

--So should I even try to view this 2 girls and a cup video?! This guy I used to work with named Chance told me about it and there are a million reaction videos on YouTube and I'm not sure if I'm ready to gag about now.

--Probably cool to go out with a guy, in this case Johnny Depp, who buys you a vineyard as a gift. Vanessa Paradis the lucky girl...

--I love Frank Caliendo and never miss a show when he's in town, but to me Frank TV isn't the right platform for the guy. I like it when he goes in and out of voices at break neck speed and the whole get a guest from the audience gimmick doesn't work for me. Having said that 2.9 million viewers for the premiere is pretty strong. I can't believe so many tuned in considering they RARELY showed a commercial for it.

--I like the Vegas CSI, the other twelve versions not so much. Anyway, CSI: Miami is adding Jessie or Elizabeth Berkley.

--Because I get waaaay behind on movies I just now finally saw 28 Weeks Later and of course it was great.

--There are probably better way to pick the next President, but TV Guide talked to the candidates about what they watch. Hillary watches crap on HGTV and Grey's clearly in an attempt to prove she is a sensitive female. My boy Barack watches Spongebob cause he can watch it with his daughters. His all-time favorites are M.A.S.H and The Wire and there ain't anything wrong with that or with Mitt Romney's favorite Lost.

--Seriously The Weather Channel released its first CD?! "The Weather Channel Presents: The Best of Smooth Jazz"

--You ever try to learn how to design a website so you made up a fake one and ending up making $40,000 a year?! Me neither...yet. But Linda Katz of Garden City, Kansas did. So what made up business did she come up with? The Prairie Tumbleweed Farm. This woman pretended to sell small, medium and large tumbleweeds for $15-$25. She pretended until people started ordering people like NASA and movie studios.

--So what's the point of having Chris Brown in Stomp the Yard if you're gonna kill him off five minutes in (not that I watched Stomp the Yard)?

--I know you were with your family over the Thanksgiving weekend and reminiscing about the good ol' days and someone probably said, "Whatever happened to Gloria Sykes?" Well now Gloria Sykes had just moved to San Francisco, now this back in 1966 when from my understanding drugs were kind of popular and music was kinda experimental, anyway G-L-O-R-I-A was on a cable car when boom the cable snapped sending the car down the hill. Gloria flew out and hit a pole and suddenly this devout Lutheran, this dance teacher became a nymphomaniac. She sued the city for this and I woulda figured something a suit like this in 1966 would have gotten you laughed at. After the accident she had sex with over 100 men and showed the court detailed records including a week where she had relations with 50 guys. She sued for $500,000 and it ended up being one of the first cases to prove post-traumatic stress disorder. Gloria was sexually abused as a child and doctors thought the crash triggered something that, unfortunately, made her seek the comfort of men. She ended up getting $50,000 from the jury (she wasn't present in court for the ruling) and disappeared. Some nosy tv station in San Fran found her at an assisted living facility where she declined comment except to say that after the verdict she moved around and eventually got married. Just a weird, weird story.

--In case you missed it and I bet you did Ricardo Mayorga beat Fernando Vargas in what was actually a decent scrap according to those who went out of their way to watch it, I wasn't one of those people.

Questions, comments or if you're pissed because you forgot to record Battlestar Galactica: Razor...

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