Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Ho ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey


Hell yeah, that's what the hell I'm talking about! Can't F with the Dynamo. I don't see how even non-soccer fans aren't excited in this city about this team. That atmosphere at Robertson is just awesome and a big reason this team is going for back-to-back titles. Anyone doubt they'll get it? This team is so much fun to watch and has had one loooong year with the extra tournaments and several of the key players getting banged up and/or playing for their respective national teams. Then of course they had to overcome a 1-0 deficit against FU Dallas which they did in style with goals in overtime or whatever the hell soccer calls "overtime." Love this stuff and whenever 11 o clock rolls around Sunday I won't be scouring the net for nfl injury updates or on my way to the Texans game. My ass will be on the couch watching the best sports team in Houston repeat as the best team in Major League Soccer.
--Congratulations to the Lions for rushing for all of -18 yards against the Cardinals.

--Remember when we thought the Texans were good because they beat Carolina at home? The Panthers have lost six straight at home.

--The Bills converted just two third downs and still kept the Dolphins winless. Five have Miami's nine defeats have been by three points.

--Congratulations to the Redskins for finally throwing a TD pass to a receiver. Only took 10 weeks.

--The Niners are nine games in and have had four games in which they've been held to single digit first downs including all of six on Monday.

--Adrian Peterson could probably sit out two weeks and still lead the league in rushing when he gets back. Ridiculous.

--The Steelers, Colts and Patriots are the only teams converting at least 50% of their third downs.

--Even after throwing 6 interceptions the Colts are still +8 in turnover ratio, good for 4th behind the Patriots and Chargers who are at +11 and the Falcons? at +9. Didn't think I'd see Atlanta up there in that department. The only team worse than the Texans at -8 is the Saints at -9.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--How great was the Curb finale? If that's the end of the series it went out in style. When Vivica shuts up Suzy's screamdown of Larry I literally fell out of my chair.

--The only Steve Carell vehicle movie I'll kick the tires is Get Smart especially now that the lovely, lovely, lovely Anne Hathaway is Agent 99. The Rock is Agent 23. Bill Murray has a cameo so that doesn't suck either.
The image “http://www.hbcprotocols.com/Images/hathaway1.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
--Love Jason Lee. Love David Cross. Love Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Hate Jason Lee, David Cross, and Alvin in the Chipmunks in a movie.

--I really, really need to get my ass to a multiplex to watch No Country for Old Men.

--Didn't you figure when you were a kid that by the year 2007 we would have advanced our toilet cleaning technology? I mean seriously we're still using a brush for this? There isn't an easier, less nasty way? There isn't a self-cleaning bowl? We have self-cleaning ovens, but not toilet bowls? The only improvements we can make in this department are cute little toilet brush holders? C'mon scientists let's get back to solving cancer and aids once we figure out how the hell we can keep our bowls spotless without resorting to the toilet brush that our great-grandparents thought was old-fashioned.

--top ten things i learned from tv this week...

1. Human Weapon - sambo the sport, 1941-russian peasants joined army and passed sambo along. it helped forestall hitler's assault on russia and paved the way for allied victory.

2. Heroin Hero is literally video crack.

3. worry about Jim and Pam breaking up because Jim doesn't want to end up being Michael. Can't believe next week's is the last new one because of the strike.

4. Gordon Ramsay must get paid millions to not slap the F outta these stubborn biyatch owner/chefs on Kitchen Nightmares. You are not a chef if you squeeze mashed potatoes out of a plastic bag.

5. no other ED tablet except Cialis is clinically proven to go to work fast or give us the option of having up to 36 hours to get back to whatever got interrupted. (uh-huh, i guarantee you in 36 hours she's thinking about what got interrupted a day and a half ago, oh yeah for sure)

6. Food Network on HD might be the # 1 reason america is one fat ass country.
http://entimg.msn.com/i/125/tv/Giada-10A_125x150.jpgShe had a baby girl this week.

7. don't donate to Katy D.A.R.E.

8. Larry and the Blacks could be the greatest sitcom in television history.

9. Boondocks showed me just how promising a Soul Plane 2 could be.

10. Never go on CNN...

--Best non-Dynamo news all week: two more seasons of Damages on the way!

--How awesome was the doubleheader combination on My20 on Sunday with La Bamba followed by the Rockets and Bobcats? I don't know if a movie has ever made me more sad than these 4 minutes and 19 seconds did...


--Your No Sh** Sherlock headline of the week comes to us from clickondetroit.com...

Police: Head Found, Possibly that of Homocide Victim

Ummm, possibly?!

--Really Riddick Bowe?! MMA?! By the way, Brock Lesnar is supposed to debut in UFC in February.

--Note to Hollywood: Yeah, umm if you couldn't tell we don't really want to go see movies about the war in Iraq. Yeah, we know it was one colossal clusterf*** that should and could have been avoided so no need to hammer it home with movie after movie.

--Matthew Perry and Mandy Moore?!
The image “http://www.eskimo.com/~tegan/blog/blogpics/entourage10_01.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.Let her go Vince, let her go.

--There are all kinds of serial killers I guess, but when you're talking about Thailand you get a special type of serial killer. This one was murdering security guards in Bangkok and surrounding provinces. Seven guards were murdered and 10 others were seriously injured over the last five months. The serial killer is, of course, a hospital security guard and explains why he did it, "I hate guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty." After his explanation he was let go without being charged...or he's in jail. One of those.

--I haven't watched one second, but apparently Keeping Up With The Kardashians is getting another season.
http://anemicroyalty.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/kim_anemi.jpgThat is one huuuuge purse.

--Thank you to our nation's veterans and those currently serving around the globe.

Questions, comments or if you're wondering how the hell you're going to keep up with the world now that The Daily Show and Colbert Report are done until the strike ends...

1 comment:

  1. I always thought it was Yo ho ho and a pint a brass monkey. Thanks for setting me straight.


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