Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter


The Jazz was the better team. That doesn’t mean it still doesn’t suck big, composite leather balls. There’s no need to rehash and blame him and him and the coach. I think we can all agree that Jake Tsakalidis just didn’t get it done and his career may very well be defined by yet another first round exit. C’mon Sloth, you gotta pick it up this offseason or you’re never gonna get to that next level!

--If you were keeping track it took the Suns’ trainer 20 pairs of latex gloves, 20 gauze pads, several Steri-Strips and about 10 Band-Aids to keep Steve Nash’s bloody nose from looking completely like a crimson mask.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--And so the world loses another human being, another son, another father, another troubled soul who only knew one way to live. We always believe our favorite athletes can’t die especially those who have displayed a warrior’s heart and determination time and time again. We don’t expect them to be cut down before even reaching 30. We don’t want to believe that they’re real people. We don’t want to lose the illusion of invincibility we grant these extraordinary talents. We don’t want to see weakness or fault of character. We don’t want to see our idols fall. I don’t want to believe Diego Corrales is gone. God has his hands full with your restless soul. May you find the peace you rarely found on this earth.

--The most disturbing/stupidest thing I heard this week came courtesy (not surprisingly) of Dear Abby. Some mother wrote in about this new teenage girl trend her daughter told her about. Apparently some high school senior girls don’t feel they can handle the pressures of college, but are completely capable of handling a newborn baby. So these girls try to get preggers on prom night to buy themselves extra time before taking on the rigors of college, which they will have to eventually do while also taking care of a child so clearly these are some bright girls.
There's a rumor that there's a minivan behind her.

--A double blast of Dear Abby this week as the following was asked by Questioning on Thursday...

"Dear Abby:
This may seem like a dumb question, but I really need to know the answer. Can you get pregnant when your breasts are underdeveloped?
My boyfriend says you can't, but I need to know for sure."

Then it goes from there and the first line of Abby's answer is, "There is no such thing as a dumb question." Really? No such thing as a dumb question? I'm telling you Dear Abby is the most hilarious thing the comic section has had going for it since Boondocks departed.

--Shane has got some big ones trying to deflect blame on Vic for setting a bad example. I hope that’s not the last we see of Antwone.

--That’s what you get for caring about a cowardly woman who six hours after laying eyes on Ricky Stratton, despite being physically tortured by him, loves Ricky for forever and a day. Dumbass Milo. Good final 40 minutes of the show, but next season 24 needs to stay the hell away from any and all romantic subplots…unless Elisha Cuthbert is back on the show, then by all means.
Damn, Erin Gray was awesome back in the day.

--One thing we here at Sports Radio 610 pride ourselves in is our ability to lay off of the competition’s mothers. We drew the line there a long time ago and we’re not crossing it. Sorry, but that’s not how we roll. 860 AM in Milwaukee however not only crosses the line, but completely erases it by pissing all over it. Some sweetheart of a guy named Mike McGhee has his own talk show, a talk show he actually pays to have on the air (much like Rob and I do for Sports Saturday). Down the dial is a conservative talk show host, Charlie Sykes, who apparently Mr. McGhee is not real fond of. So the other day Syke’s mom dies in a house fire in Mequon. And McGhee gets this blast off, "A woman that had a fool like that deserves whatever's comin' to her, 'cause she raised a sure enough idiot.” Uh, probably never the right time or never the right place to say that, but he did and so the station manager had to come down really heavy on him. McGhee was suspended not definitely, but indefinitely. Not only that, but his show will now have to be hosted by his son Michael. Wow, what to make a stand. Don Imus on line 1 for a job.

--That’s the Christopher I know.

--The Floyd/Oscar fight was about exactly what I expected and that’s a shame. No need to come back Floyd, just stay away and keep talking sh** about how you’re one of the greatest of all-time.

--Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver,
bus driver.
Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver man.
He takes us to Mets games.
He masturbates with the “assistance of a mechanical device.”

Doesn’t quite rhyme at the end, but that’s what a 68-year-old bus driver did the other day in a parking lot at Shea. Hopefully it wasn’t the kiddies who busted him.

--I’ll bet you a sprite zero that you can guess the state where a four-way dispute has broken out over a 13-year-old dog whose owner passed away. Of course, it’s Tennessee. And of course in Tennessee an attorney had to be appointed to represent the dog’s interest. Among the people wanting the dog were the dead guy’s son’s fiancée and the dead guy’s former girlfriend. However, the dead guys divorced parents will share custody of the golden retriever.

--In more even-when-Michael Vick-tries-to-do-right-he-still-f’s-up news…Mr. Mexico was at the center bar at The Venetian and bought a round of drinks. Nice, you know maybe we had that guy figured out wrong. He left no tip. F’n jerk, I knew it!

--Amanda Beard in Playboy?!

--These ideas seem like they should be reversed, but the Dodgers are now selling tickets at Costco. Starting next week you can buy A’s tickets on your cell phone.

--Tell me the Brewers weren’t offering free rectal exams the other day before a game and if you underwent one you got a voucher for two tickets to a game.

--Carl Pavano – a loser on the field, but oh, wait a winner in life. Gia Allemand…

--Joe Mauer is not using Extra to find a chick, right?

--One of the most underrated shows on TV is Everybody Hates Chris. Tichina Arnold (from Martin) plays Chris’ mom and anyway, she was at the Kentucky Derby and got a tip from Michael Jordan and so put $100 on it. She lost and she started dogging MJ and teasing him and so MJ simply reached into his pocket pulled out a $1,000 for her to bet on the big race itself, because that’s how he rolls.

--Whoa, whoa, whoa…Tom Sizemore arrested for using crystal meth?! Must be a different Tom Sizemore than the actor because the actor went through rehab and I’m pretty sure he’s sticking with the sober route.

--I’ve never been crazy enough to trifecta box an entire field of dogs, much less 19 horses, but that’s what some moron did for the Kentucky Derby. It cost him $13,680 and he won $440. I have superfecta wheeled 1 dog over the entire field. Sure was fun when MDM Roughneck led until the photo finish. Damn you OK Right Turn.

--Ummm, what exactly happened to Cate Blanchett?! Kate Bosworth thinks you need to eat.

--Three more Spider-Man movies?! But they keep getting worse and worse.

Questions, comments, or if you remember the good ol’ days when you got at least 6 hours of sleep a night…

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