Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Radar detector to tell me where the cops is

Taking Care of Bidness

Now that’s what I’m talking about. 2-0 and they still haven’t played even close to their best basketball. Tracy is not going to be this cold all series. I’m thinking he’ll end up with more made 3s than Shane Battier who also has 4 right now. Yao has been Yao and I’m betting Mehmet Okur will not have another two block game against him. Hopefully Chuck Hayes can keep up his 88% FG. The Rockets would be tied 1-1 were it not for Chuck in that first half of Game 2. Who gets more out of the talent they have than Chuck and Shane? Who hits the floor harder and more often than Chuck and Shane? C’mon Luther what happened to that 60% 3-point shooting this month? Going 2-11 from the field ain’t gonna get it done. Skip may not be shooting it well (I know, shocking) but he’s averaging 8.5 rebounds and 6.5 assists. Houston is shooting 38% from the field and 26% from beyond the arc, but what’s been their saving grace (please TNT just one more depressing ass promo for Saving Grace) has been their 86% mark from the free throw line. For once the boys aren’t getting killed by the refs. Of course, I expect that to completely change in Utah, but it was fun while it lasted here.

As for the Jazz I’m tired of hearing about how they have no star power. What the hell is Carlos Boozer? The all-star was incredible in Game 2! 41 points!?! Deron Williams is a future perennial all-star and once his jumper becomes consistent forget about it. Utah is a horrific 5-26 from the 3-point line. Okur and Andrei (I’m not crying, I’m…okay I’m crying) Kirilenko are shooting 17%. Gordan Giricek has yet to get going though Matt Harpring has been his usual annoying self.

The Rockets can and will play better. The Jazz can and will play better. Nothing left to do, but play 48 more minutes Thursday night and see where things stand afterwards. I’m hoping by Sunday we’re concentrating on what it’s going to take to beat the Warriors and not if it’s gonna take us 5 or 6 to silence the Jazz.

--JVG finished 4th in Coach of the Year voting, which is two, maybe three spots lower than he should have. How does Pat Riley get a 2nd place vote? Two 3rd place votes for Gregg Popovich?! I would not have minded seeing Jerry Sloan get it. I mean guy has been a great coach for almost 20 years and has never won that award before. Seriously, Sam Mitchell and Doc Rivers have Coach of the Year awards and Jerry Sloan doesn’t.

--78.7% of the time the Game 1 winner wins the series.


--Saturday is just ridiculous what with that little thing known as the NFL Draft, Game 4, and to top it off Juan Diaz and Acelino Freitas. Who knows what the Texans will do with that first pick? Trade down? Draft Levi? Leon Hall? Will Peterson miraculously fall into their laps only to see them go and pick Alan Branch? I’d like the 19-year-old DT out of Louisville Amobi Okoye, but that’s just me.

--The Brewers have 18 bobblehead giveaway days scheduled this season.

--Tell me, tell me that some Russian billionaire is not paying Jennifer Lopez $2 million for a 40 minute set at his birthday party.

--Ho-ly Sh**! Ho-ly Sh**! Don't worry the kid got an autographed football for his troubles.

--Top offensive lineman Joe Thomas turned down the NFL's invitation to New York because he and his father traditionally fish during draft weekend. Rest assured NFL Network has you covered with a boat cam to capture well, whatever happens. Hopefully dad pushes him into the lake.

--I don't know where he's going to go, but Anthony Gonzalez is going to be a difference-maker next season. More so than his college teammate Ted Ginn Jr.

--Chad Johnson was at Cincy's first offseason workout the other day and was asked what those workouts did for him. He answered, "Make me sexy. Sexy enough to take my shirt off anytime, anyplace." Then once he was asked, "Aren't you sexy enough as it is?" He answered, "I'm talking about Playgirl sexy." Ocho Cinco por vida!

--Anyone want to draft Jeff Smarzdija, just in case things don't work out with the baseball thing?

--Jeff Weaver off to a nice 0-3 with a 13.00+ ERA start for the Mariners.

--No one is going to be going to Devil Rays games, but give them credit for trying something. Tampa is giving away 10,000 cowbells to fans showing up Monday night. Of course, being Tampa they screwed it up by saying you have to be wearing Devil Rays gear to get a cowbell. Basically look for 9,900 cowbells on Ebay tomorrow.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--The only thing crazier than seeing Cro Cop get kicked the f' out was seeing Cro Cop actually stand up and walk. Nas-ty!

--Entourage needs to go ahead and start busting out hour-long episodes. Thirty minutes of watching Carla Gugino wake up and walk around the house in next to nothing would be a good start. You know that golf simulator Drama and Turtle are always playing on? Apparently there are only about 200 of those in the world and will run you about $75,000. I would just buy a Golden Tee, but that’s me. Although their play toy does include 50 real courses.

--OMG, this week’s is going to be the best Office ever, isn’t it?

--Fairly difficult (especially if you’re high) to come up with a Top 10 Stoner Moments in Movies. This list tries and I’m a big fan of # 5 - Killer’s adventure. You have to find room for Floyd/Brad Pitt in True Romance and no Dazed and Confused?!
Gotta love the Honey Bear.

--Note to 24: Bring back Charles Logan. Just find a way.

--Zach Braff turned down the Fletch role due to a scheduling conflict?! Fix the schedule how is that not Zach’s role?

--There’s a Death Race 2000 sequel on the horizon?! Jason Statham in the lead role?!

--Because I'm stupid I had no idea that Laurie David who helped produce An Inconvenient Truth and recently chastised Karl Rove at the Correspondents' Dinner was the wife of Larry David. Speaking of the Correspondent’s Dinner and its excellent choice of Rich Little as the “entertainment” tell me Sanjaya did not really get invited.

--Girls Gone Wild founder, Joe Francis, is in jail for 35 days for, well, obvious reasons. Apparently he’s having a hard time of it and is sharing a cell with a cop killer. Anyone feel sorry for this guy?

--Gotta love California what with its environmentally friendly policies and letting mothers, you know, give birth on city sidewalks before walking away like you just didn't drop a 5 pound baby in front of Starbucks. For the second time in the Bay Area this year a mom dropped a kid right onto the sidewalk and then walked away like nothing happened. Some people called 911 and the "mom" was found covered in blood a block away and of course, she said, "Baby? What baby?" Thankfully the baby is in good condition.

--Apparently there are some pictures in Us Weekly showing Laguna turd Jason playing Russian Roulette. He won, we lost.

--Your dumbass of the week is Mikhail Drachev. This genius made the biggest mistake you can make. He trusted the opposite sex. Rookie move Mikhail. Five years ago Mikhail and a couple of other guys snatched a police informant, drove him into the woods, stabbed him in the back, set him on fire, and buried him in a shallow grave. Since that time Mikhail hid out in Canada and fell in love…and told the love of his life his story. All was well, well for one week until they had a fight and she went to the cops.

--DrudgeReport headline I have zero interest in clicking on: Man ‘Cuts Off His Own Penis in Restaurant.’

--R.I.P. David Halberstam.

Questions, comments or if you saw a guy in Austin last weekend rocking a now black and white shirt and you instantly threw up the Too Sweet sign only to get a confused look and a fist bump…

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