Thursday, December 07, 2006

Girls - To Clean Up My Room

Vince Bowl?

Real creative, Chronicle. Honestly even the most die hard Vince Young fan, die hard Texans fan and die hard David Carr fan/apologist has got to be sick of all of the hype. I know I am. Let’s just get the game over with and realize no matter what happens someone will be calling all next week with “I told ya so’s.” In summation, Vince Young is special. David Carr is not. The Texans had a chance to always put one incredibly exciting player on the field with its offense at all times. The Texans did not. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can write for me…I’ll never get over that decision. Ever. Maybe I’ve grown too cynical and somewhere along the way lost the blind love I used to have for my hometown teams because not so deep inside of me I want to see Vince light it up Sunday afternoon and the Titans to win, and win big. I’ve never loathed any single person like I loathe Bud Adams. And the Texans have made it to where I actually want Bud’s team to win. Where have I lost my way? Like my failed relationships I’ll place the blame firmly on the other party, in this case the Texans, although as always when I talk it out it’s probably more my fault. Where’s my Jager?

--Just thinking ahead, but there are four 4-8 teams and right now the Texans would be drafting 7th. We all know the NFC sucks and more to that point 5 of the first 6 picks right now would go to teams in that conference.

--As a team the Cowboys are second in the league with rushing TDs with 17. LaDainian is now at 23 by himself.

--The Browns haven’t won back-to-back games since October of 2003.

--Last year only four times did a team trailing by 14 or more in the first quarter come back to win the game. It’s already happened five times this season wit the Titans involved twice (1-1).

--Quick which team leads the league in passing touchdowns? Wrong, it’s the Eagles with 24.

--The Falcons average 5.7 yards a rush and a whole 5.1 yards per pass.

--They don’t get much hotter than USC Song Girls especially the ones who really know their football…

Road Daze

The Timberwolves played some good ball and Yao and Tracy McGrady could never really find a rhythm so the boys took one on the chin Wednesday. Minnesota did a very nice job making Yao look as uncomfortable as a racist comedian on Letterman. I guess you can only win so many games when you shoot in the 35% range. As always Yao got screwed by the refs. That technical foul he got for taunting after dunking over Eddie “drive with my hands at 10 and in my pants o’ clock” Griffin was just ridiculous. Whatever. That was the first of ten road games this month. The Rockets also have four more sets of back-to-back games this month. The schedule has been cake up to this point now we see how legitimate that hot start was.

--Maurice Taylor has been suspended five games for violating the league’s substance abuse policy for the 3rd time in 9 years. Congratulations.

Sometimes Tasers can be fun…In Florida, Officer Henry Lee found out that his wife had invited over a corrections officer to meet a friend of hers. So that kind of sucks he probably just wanted to go home, sit down, drink a beer and watch Heroes, but nooooooooooo. So his wife’s female friend doesn’t show up and he’s still at work. Then his wife calls asking him to pick up some things from the store. Why? Because she needed some more sexy time with the corrections officer. So Officer Lee comes home and sees his wife kissing ol’ boy on the couch. Then she gets up and he busts through the door, smacks the guy with his baton, then pulls his revolver as wifey comes back in. The guy asks for Lee to show some mercy and Lee holsters his gun and busts out his Taser and goes to town. And, of course, Lee is the one who is in trouble with the law. What kind of world do we live in when a man can’t Taser another man who is in his house, on his couch, eating his chips and kissing his wife? Land of the free?

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--If you’re keeping score then The Break-Up between Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston is official…until further notice.

--For the fifth time in the last six years Britney Spears was the most searched for person on Yahoo! WWE, which last time I checked was not a person was 2nd followed by lovely Shakira, lovely Jessica Simpson and skanky Paris Hilton.
Because there's a littly Superfly in all of us.

--Taco Bell serves green onions?! Apparently not anymore with E. coli scaring the refried beans out of everybody. Worst decision I never want to make, Taco Bell or Arby’s.

--Because once upon a time Andy Dick was in something funny and didn’t have to go to rehab or drop the N-word to get some attention…

--Hayden Christensen as Phil Helmuth in a biopic?! Look I’m not saying Hayden Christensen was why the new batch of Star Wars sucked, but…, okay that is what I’m saying.

--Beyonce and Jay-Z secret wedding this weekend?!
Crazy in love.

--I've said it before and I'll say it again this is the Best Big Ad Ever…

--Seriously, the Happy Feet penguins promote homosexuality?! This is where we’re going with this people? I’m talking to you Fox News.
Say it ain't so Chilly, say it ain't so.

--Your teacher-student sex story of the week comes to us from Fort Collins. 29-year-old Carrie McCandless accompanied some students on a field trip in late October and set her eyes on a particular 17-year-old. The history teacher supplied the students with alcohol and “did everything except have sex” with that particular student. One time the pair, along with other students who we’ll refer to as third wheels, went on a hike and he brought Everclear and she brought a bottle of Jack. According to the third wheels the alcoholic pair kept sneaking off for “a cigarette” or “a drink” for 30-45 minutes at a time. One fun day they exchanged 76 texts on their phones. When staying in a cabin once they simulated sex with their clothes on while students slept around them. Yeah, she don’t give a f***! Oh yeah, she was also the principal’s wife. Oh yeah, a member of the school board tried to keep it hush, hush, but eventually a television reporter informed police.

--The 2006 top ten baby names for girls and boys is out. Aiden is still the reigning champ for boys. Jacob and Ethan follow at 2 and 3 just like last year. Ryan jumped up a couple of spots to 4 while Nicholas free falled to 8th. Big jump for Logan from 19 to 10. On the girls’ side…Emma repeats as champ fighting off Madison and Ava. Ava?!

--Eddie Murphy has moved on to Babyface’s ex-wife.

--Because, trust me, you need some Benny Hinn on this day…

--There’s a new movie theater that opened up in North Philly. Wednesday was the second day of a dollar movie promotion that brought in the crowds. Of course, being in North Philadelphia someone brought a gun, shot it six times, sparking brawls everywhere you looked. All that because Happy Feet was sold out.

--Maybe you remember a while back when I posted the video of the guys in Dallas who taped the lottery recording the night before and then the next day tricked their friend into thinking he won with of course, video hilarity being provided for us. Anyway, a guy in Pennsylvania created a fake winning ticket and left it lying around the break room. Some guy picked it up, tried to redeem it, lied about buying it and got charged with fraud for his trouble. Hilarious.

--You know how you’ve always wanted the Major League Baseball draft to be televised? Well the next one is going to be on ESPN or TBS anyway.

--Should kids learn this in the 1st or 2nd grade?

--Jeff Lacy suffered a severe tear in his left rotator cuff in the 2nd round of that “win” against Tsypko last Saturday. He’ll be out at least six months. This week Jermain Taylor takes on Kassim Ouma. Don’t sleep on Ouma. He’s just like Joshua Clottey although Jermain Taylor won’t be near as rusty as Antonio Margarito was.

Questions, comments or if you keep finding yourself writing like you would text…

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