Oneovdabigboiz

That's Better

Thankfully the Astros looked like they've put that Giants debacle behind them. I guess this is the way it's going to be when you have three kids, two of which are rookies, in the starting rotation. What can you say about Taylor Buchholz? Dude combined to allow 16 runs in his previous two starts before shutting out arguably the best offense around on Sunday. Monday, Wandy looked better than he has in a while. We'll see what Fernando Nieve can do Tuesday night. I just hope Phil Garner stops yo-yo-ing Lance Berkman between 1B and the OF. Yeah, Mike Lamb has been hitting the ball good. But to me it doesn't make much sense to stick a Gold Glove caliber first baseman who has hamstring problems in the outfield. Hopefully the Astros can make some hay against the Nationals and Pirates before that 3-game set next week versus the Cardinals.

--When the Baseball Tonight boys were discussing Barry and Babe Tim Kurkjian busted out this beauty. Babe Ruth and Pedro Martinez each have 17 shutouts. In a sign o’ the times Babe had 148 starts and 107 complete games. Insane. Although MVP Awards weren’t handed out until about midway through Ruth’s career in 1923 he won how many? The loneliest number, 1 (Aaron also won just 1). Ruth also had 123 career steals, which is pretty good. He was thrown out 117 times, which is pretty bad.

--Props to the Astros for using the opening credits of Napoleon Dynamite as inspiration for all-star voting complete with the White Stripes’ “We’re Going To Be Friends.” Now do something about those worthless Junction Jack weight loss spots.

--You ever at an Astros game, look up at the train in left and wonder what the hell they were smoking when they came up with that?

--The ‘Stros are 15-0 when they out-hit their opponent.

--On Saturday the Rangers dropped down their 9th sacrifice bunt of the season. Last year they set the ML record for fewest sacrifice bunts in a season…9.

--Mark Teixeira has played in 328th straight games, which is second best in franchise history to who? No, not Rusty Greer, not Mickey Rivers, not Bump Wills, not Buddy Bell, not Johnny Grubb, but none other than Alex Rodriguez with 482 games.
Best Bump Ever.

--The White Sox, Yankees, and Phillies are the only teams who’ve yet to be shutout.

Best of 9 anyone?

Oh well, I guess every game can’t be like the Mavericks and Spurs. That was one helluva series. I would have loved, loved to see what a loss like that would have done to Dallas. Dirk and Tim were just incredible. Over the 7 games Timmy averaged 32.3 pts, 11.7 reb., 3.7 ass., and 2.6 blocks. Ri-Dirk-ulous averaged 27 and 13 while shooting 51% from the field and 91% from the line. What a 3 by Manu Ginobili late. What a foul he followed it with on Dirk. What was he thinking? Give him the easy dunk, who cares? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Either way it was a fantastic series and we'll be very lucky to get anything like that the rest of the way. Suns/Mavs should be entertaining and I'll go with Phoenix because the other team is from Dallas. Out East I'll take the Pistons over the Heat. If that happens it'll be one boring Finals sweep.
Kelly Leak and some German guy.

Fantasy Fix

Yes it’s not even June and yes these are about as close to meaningless as you can get, but the footballguys have fantasy projections out for the upcoming NFL season. Not a lotta love for David Carr as he ranks 24th behind Chris Simms, Mark Brunell and Jon Kitna. They have Carr throwing for 2,715 yards with 16 TDs and 11 INTs. I think that’s the very, very low end of what Carr should be able to do this season. Domanick Davis comes in at 15 for RBs. Fantasy or not I’ve gotta believe Andre Johnson will perform better than the 24th best receiver. 78 catches and 7 TDs are also on the low end. I can’t see guys like Eddie Kennison and Ernest Wilford putting up better numbers. Mario Williams is projected as the 18th best d-lineman checking in with 9 sacks. I know he’ll get in double-digits, right? By the way, looking at the running backs overall Larry Johnson is first followed by Shaun Alexander and LaDainian Tomlinson. If you don’t get one of those guys then good luck on your bid for second place.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Die Hard 4?! Apparently the original screenplay had a huge oil tanker exploding in the Gulf sending huge waves into New Orleans. Yeah, that’s gonna be changed.

--I was never, ever aware that Mr. T set his love and respect for moms everywhere into a wonderfully entertaining music video. The magic of YouTube.

Clubber Lang celebrated his 54th birthday over the weekend. That’s the second best YouTube clip I came across this week. The best involves Jason Bateman, Alyssa Milano, and the Mario Brothers on ice, oh, and Mr. Belvedere. It’s worth it to make it past King Koopa’s song because the princess’ voice is just as I had always imagined a princess’ voice would be.
Streaks on the china...

--Tommy Hilfiger and Axl Rose threw down at a birthday party for Rosario Dawson?!

--DrudgeReport headline of the week…”Ex-NJ Gov: I cruised truck stops for sex…”

--It probably shouldn’t have come to this, but some ambulances in Tampa Bay have been created to hold those of us on the heavy, heavy, ranch dressing as a permanent mustache side. The new ambulances can hold patients up to 700 pounds. Those who are over such as Shamu or Godzilla can now be placed on a stretcher outside of the vehicle and then winched up inside. If you have to be winched into an ambulance what exactly is a trip to the hospital going to fix?

--It took me way too long to finally watch Kung Fu Hustle. Apparently a sequel is in the works and that’s a very, very good thing.


--Speaking for myself, I wouldn’t get into an argument with anyone dressed as Freddy Krueger. Some homeless guy on Hollywood Blvd. thought otherwise and got into an argument with a look-alike whose glove was outfitted with real steel blades.
Freddy Krueger- 1
Homeless People- 0.
Freddy was arrested for suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. I’m sure the homeless guy is still trying to avoid going to sleep.

--Was that Hutch I just saw on TV for a consolidated credit commercial?! I didn’t know Hutch/Paul Michael Glaser wrote and directed Shaq in Kazaam. Ouch.

--I’m not a horse racing fan at all, but that was about as sad as it gets watching Barbaro pull up at the Preakness.

--What a performance by Rocky Juarez against Marco Antonio Barrera. Out-standing!! I gave Rocky just about no chance to beat Barrera and he very nearly did. Credit to the baby faced assassin for picking someone like Rocky to replace the guy he was supposed to face. Zero credit to the judges for making a mockery out of what was a very entertaining fight. The bout was originally a draw, but then two judges’ scorecards were changed and the draw turned into a Juarez loss. I thought he lost, but taking that draw away twenty minutes after the fight is just ridiculous. There aren’t many left hooks better than Rocky’s and I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of it on television after his showing last Saturday.

--The Lost season finale is almost here. Rejoice!

--I caught just a bit of George Foreman on Quite Frankly the other night. He and Stephen A. were talking about Mike Tyson when the camera went to a close-up of George with a graphic below reading:

George Foreman
Never Fought Mike Tyson

Thanks for that breaking news Stephen A.

--According to a poll the lovable People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals did, the sexiest female vegetarian in the world is Kristen Bell/Veronica Mars. Sexiest male went to Prince. Now you know…

I Heart Food Network

The Chronicle’s Food section recently busted out a list of their top five Food Network stars. Counting backwards Sandra Lee, Paula Deen, Rachael Ray, Giada de Laurentis and at the top spot is…wait for it…Alton Brown. As a dedicated Food Network watcher my top five based on their shows and their recipes I use rolls like this…at # 5 I have everyone’s favorite TV grandmother Paula Deen. Most of her recipes begin with a stick of butter and end with a stick of butter. What’s not to like about that? At # 4 I go with Bobby Flay. He drinks while he cooks. I drink while I cook. We get along fine. Anyone catch Vito Spatafore with Bobby on Boy Meets Grill Tuesday morning? At # 3 I put Mario Batali. I love Molto and the history lessons he gives on Italian cooking. He uses a ton of items I don’t have access to or don’t want to have access to, but he makes them look damn good. My # 2 is Tyler Florence. Food 911! provides a ton of basic information and the recipes are fairly easy and that’s a good thing. Also Tyler’s Ultimate showed me the path to the Ultimate Omelet. At # 1 I put

Good Eats is so informative with just the right amount of cheese factor. He uses too many tools I don’t have, but he always tells us alternatives to those tools. His book, I’m Just Here For The Food, is outstanding. The best compliment I can give his show is that even if the ingredient is something I hate like brussel sprouts or beets I still watch because I know I'll learn something I can use at some point. I like Rachael a lot, but sometimes I’m not in the mood for non-stop smiles and giggles. Maybe because it seems like I’ve seen every Emeril Live, but I like watching Essence more. Giada’s show is good and she’s easy on the eyes, but for whatever reason I find it annoying and forced when she pronounces Italian food items in her best Italian. Also what kind of true Italian chef gets their training in France? Michael Chiarello's Easy Entertaining is very solid and you gotta love the setting. Sandra Lee is the hottest, but I have zero interest in learning how to make doilies and make decorative fruit cups.

Questions, comments, or if Tic Tac Bold have become your mints of choice...