Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Madness I Tells Ya, Madness!!

Draft- June 28th

Seems like nothing’s changed since I’ve been gone regarding the Rockets. Yao = great, rest of team = opposite of great. The playoffs are clearly out of the question so now the only suspense is whether or not this team is going to get a win in its division and also just how many lottery ping pong balls it’ll have in the hopper. Houston has just four more chances to get that Southwest win. First opportunity Tuesday night against the Mavs. Okay that ain’t happening. Next up is Thursday night on the road against the Hornets. Maybe, just maybe it will happen then and the Rockets can get that win and stop what’ll be a six-game slide by that time.

--For what it’s worth nbadraft.net and insidehoops.com have the Rockets taking Temple guard Mardy Collins at #12. He’s 6-6, not particularly athletic and not a particularly good shooter (60% FT, 31% 3-pt). I’m not real big on Shelden Williams, but I’d rather have him. If Houston goes guard you could do worse than Washington’s Brandon Roy who was Pac-10 Player of the Year averaging 20 pts, 5.7 rebounds, and 4 assists. In the one day since I checked in nbadraft.net now has the Rockets taking UConn’s Marcus Williams who, despite that outburst against Albany, can’t shoot a lick. If LSU big freshman Tyrus Thomas comes out that would be a guy I’d love to see in a Rockets uniform. The boys might have to lose a few more games to be able to grab him. I’m thinking that won’t be a problem.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I was watching an Applebee’s commercial and a basketball game broke out!!
I was traveling a lot over the weekend so I didn’t get to see nearly as much of the tournament action I would have liked, but I saw enough to toss my bracket in the trash when Kansas lost. Thankfully for the first time in years I didn’t enter a bracket pool, but only an auction up at the station. So far, so good as I’m up at the top with Texas, Florida and Washington. Thursday can’t get here soon enough.

--It’s Tuesday now and thankfully the hysteria caused by Candace Parker’s “dunks” has faded away. They weren’t historic or important or anything like that because they weren’t dunks. Back in her Tennessee days Michelle Snow dunked, Lisa Leslie has dunked, Candace Parker has not. It’s just silly the way ESPN showed those over and over and the local news stations as well. Dunking for girls is not new and those weren’t dunks in the first place so let’s move on, nothing to see here.

Atlantic City, Baby!

The best part of my incredibly lucrative job at Sports Radio 610 is the occasional boxing trip that HBO hooks up. Matt and Adam get the Vegas trips and I get the leftovers and that’s fine by me. I’m probably one of the few American males who has been to Atlantic City twice without ever setting foot in the setting of CSI. I don’t know why I love Atlantic City, but I do. Maybe it’s because it has a real winter or maybe because I’m the best looking guy here or maybe because of the 10 Bon Jovi cover songs I heard in the hotel bar or maybe because of the salt water taffy or maybe because I get a sense of gangster history here or maybe because I met a Penn State female on the plane who is my Boardwalk guide or maybe because everyone has Vegas stories, but who has Atlantic City ones or maybe because $8 Jager shots taste better than reasonably priced ones or maybe because it’s the outlet store capital of the world or maybe because the locals hate T.O. or maybe because I saw two homeless people run a snack raid on the media’s free Tastykakes or maybe because the only thing better than cab driver fights are cart pusher brawls or maybe because people here find it so easy to talk loudly and incoherently to themselves or maybe because I saw two taxis have an entire conversation with their horns or maybe because of the 40/40 Club or maybe because everyone has to have the last word or maybe because Stephanie has spectacular, beautiful, big eyes or maybe because men’s ponytails are still in style or maybe because Dunkin’ Donuts rules or maybe because people don’t apologize or maybe because I still have some cash in my pocket. Whatever the reason I heart Atlantic City.

--The best part of my trip was going down the escalator at the airport and seeing my name on the placard my driver, yes my driver, was holding. If you haven’t had a chauffeur drive you from Philly to the Boardwalk I highly recommend it. The worst part of my plane ride was sitting across from a guy who gave a foot rub to his girl and followed that up by biting his fingernails the rest of the trip. I’m all for foot rubs, but come on.

--Another highlight for me was getting to interview Jim Lampley and among other things asking him his thoughts on who was a bigger choker: Bode Miller or Calvin Murphy at the Baton Twirling Championships back in the day? Lamps (as I now refer to him as) gave the edge to Bode. Before I interviewed him I heard Jim get into a little political discussion and discovered he’s not so fond of Dubya. So with apologies to Stephen Colbert I asked Lamps, “George W. Bush: great president or greatest president?” After he stopped laughing he responded, “George W. Bush is the worst president in the history of the republic!” So I put him down for “great.”

--As for the fight itself I thought James Toney edged Hasim Rahman, but I’m in the minority. The first several rounds were great stuff and then the guys, mostly Toney, just got winded down the stretch. I don’t know what the heavyweight division can do to get back in the public eye, but draws aren’t it.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I guess it was inevitable that T.O. would end up with the Cowboys. Hopefully ESPN just gives them a 30-minute show to replace 1st and 10. That way we don’t have to be bombarded with all-T.O. all-the-time on the other shows. And how about that joke of a book coming out about Owen’s two years in Philly? It’s written by his agent Drew Rosenhaus’ brother so I’m sure it’ll be as fair and balanced as Fox News is.

--Note to Sopranos: Please don’t try and make AJ act anymore.

--According to an interview Eva Longoria did with Allure she gabbed about their sex life. The lovely said, “Tony’s only been with one other person in his life. He’s very sweet. I’m the experienced one.” Anyone believe that Tony Parker has been with just two women in his life?

--How exciting does the new season of The Surreal Life look? Yeah, not at all. You got problems when a sober C.C. Deville is the highlight of the group.

--No, it’s not as good as it once was, but it’s still The Simpsons and Fox has picked it up for two more seasons.

--A fight breaks out between a guy with a nail gun and a guy with a baseball bat, who wins? This showdown happened in Boston with nail gun guy charging baseball bat guy after the two had an argument. Nail gun guy couldn’t get a shot off while baseball bat guy went BP on nail gun guy’s head. Unfortunately this was a loser leaves life match.

--Now apparently Isaac Hayes/Chef had a stroke back in January and it was his Scientology boys who quit South Park for him. Stay tuned, children. Wednesday night the new season of South Park kicks off and it’s Chef-centered.

--If you haven’t heard Kevin Federline-Spears’ new song on his MySpace page then I highly recommend you don’t.

--Everyone knows the craziest teenagers in America are found in New Hampshire. There dozens of minors got an adult to help them rent out an American Legion hall in order to raise bail money for a teenage friend who got himself thrown in jail in Massachusetts. Surprisingly the minors broke out some alcohol and the cops weren’t far behind. So in trying to help a friend get out of jail 76 minors were taken into protective custody and six were arrested on a variety of charges. Typical Saturday night in New Hampshire.

--On NBC.com this summer we’ll be treated to ten extra episodes of The Office featuring the accounting staff. That should be good. Dwight might be the most hilarious character on TV right

--I can’t accurately convey how bad Snakes on a Plane looks so I’ll let the trailer do it for me.

--Prince has a new album dropping this week and it’s supposed to be pretty good. None other than Carlos Boozer has beef with the tiny basketball superstar. Apparently Prince was renting out a Hollywood mansion from a group Boozer heads. The man, the myth, the Prince is alleged to have put some purple striping on the crib and adorn it with “3121” and his Prince symbol. If Prince moves into a place I own and does that with his own money that’s fine by me. We’re talking about freakin’ Prince here c’mon Boozer get over it.

--I can’t believe we’re already at the season finale of The Shield.

--Bruce Willis and Petra Nemcova?!

--There’s me and then there are crazy substitute teachers. One such loony subs in Newark and was having a problem getting a kid to do his homework. So he did what all good subs do he asked the boy if he knew about strangulation. Then the 61-year-old sub made the boy stand on a chair, put the looped end of a decorative string hanging from a light around his neck, and then kicked the chair. The kid is fine and the sub said he never actually put the string around the kid’s neck. Yeah, the old man is no longer a sub and shockingly the student’s parents are suing.

Questions, comments or if you can explain why that kid with asthma throws the Bettis jersey to the Bus and Bettis keeps it…

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