Danny's Diatribes: He drinks where he lies. He's covered with flies. He's got the hand me down Pumas and the tie dyes.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--In never take a renewal for granted news…FX renewed Sunny, Louie and Wilfred. I watched the first four Australian episodes of Wilfred and the more things change (boy-girl situation) the more they stay the same (Wilfie-Bear situation). The music is different and I actually like it more. Other than that it’s bizarreness as usual.
Wilfred - "I pride myself on having an answer for everything. You ask me any question."
Adam - "Okay I'll ask you a question. What is the domino effect?"
Wilfred - "Dunno. Next!"
Despite being a dog in Australia Wilfred has a good handle on nachos.

--Terrific opening scene from Breaking Bad with Mike in the back of the truck fending off would-be hijackers. Although Mike seems a little old and too important to be a guard in the back of a delivery truck.
Gale doing karaoke. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Of course Gale has a recipe for vegan s’mores. I paused it when they showed the recipe and that has to be the most trouble to go to ever for a freakin’ s’more. I didn’t even know “vegetarian gelatin” was a thing.

Jesse is the definition of not. giving. a. fu**. He needs some tough love which I imagine is the only love Mike is aware of. Hopefully wherever Mike is taking him a new Jesse will emerge from the other end because a smile before the end of the season would be nice.
Walt – “Where’s the I slept with my boss bulletpoint.” Yeah, Skyler can be overbearing and annoying, but the details are her thing and she feels pressure to make sure Walt has the details down despite his nonchalant attitude. Just like Walt feels pressure to make sure Jesse has the details down despite his whatever attitude.

--Curb was just gold this week and it was a great way to get Larry to New York. Way to see the lie through Larry. The “chat and cuts” and “pig parkers” were great, but the most hilarious part was the final shot of Richard Lewis at the restaurant waiting for Larry.
Also hilarious when Vance was trying to tattle to Susie and Jeff’s defense consisted of nonsense like, “HOSE? I don't have a hose! Your helicopter ride? Why would you tell us about that now?”

--If you didn’t go out of your way to watch UFC 133 last Saturday, good move by you. Everyone knew Rashad would handle Tito, but Tito did give it his best shot and it was entertaining. In the end though Tito just fought five weeks ago, he’s too old and oh yeah, he’s not nearly as good. Other than that the fact that the banana hammocked Dennis Hallman was the talk of the night tells you what kind of card it was.

--Finally Mary Beth is out of our Food Network Star lives. I never understood why the judges liked her so much since she couldn’t, you know, cook. Seems like that’d be a high priority. I think Vic gets eliminated in the opening camera challenge next week because cameras aren’t kind to Momma’s Boy. That’ll leave Susie and Jeff. I think it’s a toss-up, but Jeff gets a show out of this either way.

--George Clooney and Stacy Keibler?! I remember the days when she was just a young Nitro girl in this mixed up crazy world that pitted the nWo against WCW. Writing of, great sporcle the other day that wanted the 43 nWo members. 43?! I got 25 and was pretty happy because there’s no way I was going to get the nine or so Japanese members or guys like V.K. Wallstreet or Rodman. Hadn’t seen Nick Patrick’s name in a while. Completely forgot about Fake Sting.

I expected to hate The American when I flipped it on out of boredom the other day. My expectations were so low that they were actually surpassed. Still if I was wasn’t working out at the time I probably would have fell asleep during it.

--Office meets Dallas opening credits is gold.

--Emeril is a new judge for Top Chef Texas?! Did I miss something? Obviously it’s ridiculous for Top Chef to visit three Texas cities without any of them being named Houston. On the other hand maybe I don’t want Top Chef coming to town with Tom Colicchio on a horse and Padma wearing a cowboy hat the whole time. Well actually Padma in a cowboy hat is fine. But you know what I mean.

--Fast Times at Ridgemont High is now out in Blu-ray as if the Phoebe Cates swimming pool scene couldn’t get any better.

--Roy Williams the safety is in Storage Wars?!

--The Big Picture, as you might expect, has some insane photos from the London riots. I'm not sure what the hell the guy is doing in #16.

--The question isn’t why is Gordon Ramsay trying to trademark “Fat Cow” in the UK, but how doesn’t he already own it?

--The new season of Sesame Street (No. 42 if you’re scoring at home) is going to have Mila Kunis, Sofia Vergara, and Joel McHale among others?! Glee and Deadliest Catch spoofs as well. Those have to be better than the True Blood spoof, “True Mud.” A full list of guest stars here. The new season begins September 26th. Neither of the two athletes on the list are Arian Foster who would be outstanding on this show. Drew Brees and A’mare Stoudemire are the two.

--I’ve said it before, but I’m pretty sure the second season of Boardwalk Empire is going to kick the crap out of season one.

--If you were randomly flipping through channels Monday night and heard a woman say “cut his balls.” That was Basketball Wives. Yeah apparently Erik Williams is persona non grata among his ex and her friends.

--Seth Rogen on the The League should be good and since he’s Raffi’s friend Seth’s airtime shouldn’t cut into Raffi’s and I think we can all agree we need a little more Raffi this season.

--William Goetzee of New Orleans had a suicide wish. Trying to take a gun from a federal agent didn’t work so after some mental health evaluations he was put on “suicide watch” in the Sheriff’s Office psychiatric tier in an LSU hospital. “Suicide watch” implies that the subject will be watched. Apparently no one watched William literally eat toilet paper to death.

--Teacher/student sex stories have become so commonplace over the last 10 years that there’s not much new ground to break. Mrs. Brittni Colleps formerly of Kennedale High in the Arlington, Texas area tried her best though. To start with she has possibly the dumbest spelling of Brittni ever. She’s married. She has three children. She’s charged with not one, not two, but five counts of an improper relationship. Five different male students all on the same day. She’s special, this one. Her husband is standing by her, at least for right now. Something about sleeping with five teenagers in one day seems like the start of “irreconcilable differences.”