Monday, March 28, 2011

I drink quarts and cans and bottles and sixes. Between the turntables keep the vodka and the mixes.

My name is Danny Vara and I’m a Twitter-holic. It’s been 5 minu…3 seconds since I last checked Twitter. I can stop anytime I want to (turns and refreshes). Sometimes for even hours at a time, you know, when sleeping. I didn’t know when I joined a year ago how much I’d enjoy it, how informative it’d be and how angry some people could get in 140 characters or less. I was never interested in joining Facebook because I just don’t see much appeal in finding out what happened to so and so since high school otherwise I would’ve stayed in touch in the first place or posting pics of myself or tagging or poking or whatever the hell goes on there. Twitter seems much more stripped down to me without all the bells, whistles and privacy concerns. And unfollowing seems a lot nicer than unfriending. I never understood why people get upset at being unfollowed or not being followed at all by someone they follow. Honestly life is way too short to get upset about the follow game. It’s Twitter. It’s all at once an outlet for your thoughts and an inlet for others’ thoughts you’re interested in whether it be for sports, food, television, humor, news, politics, music, spelling bees or all of the above and more. In short it’s a beautiful thing displayed in 140 characters or less. The list below is basically my own version of #FF. Thanks to everyone who has #FF’d me in the past, present and may do so in the future. You complete me. And more than likely I’ve forgotten to mention a few people down below I follow so apologies in advance. And if I'm missing out on a good follow then by all means I pass it along.

There are people I’ve followed from day one. There are people I’ve unfollowed from day two…looking at you Jay Glazer. There’s all the guys at 1560 who make me laugh, but more importantly make me think. Read @The_Raheel’s advice to Kim Kardashian and tell me it’s not spot on and the best for Kim in the long run. Read what @Shrekxican has to say about Taco Town’s troubles and how they so closely mirror what’s going on in Libya. @fbullington and @chancekear use the power of song much in the way Bob Dylan and Rebecca Black do to get others to pay attention to the problems of the people. Need pie making tips? @g_hodges2 has you covered. Our UH community is large, but not very vocal unless you piss off my boy @KJ1560. Versatile guys like @ChrisSolis, @jharrisfootball and @LanceZierlein can break down football and food shows like @TheProducerMatt can break down caps. Maybe you don’t want just one or two kids, but a litter of them. So follow @LanceZierlein and @nikvzierlein and, as studies have shown, your wife’s chances of getting pregnant increase by 45%. Want to increase that percentage to 90%? Follow @davidnuno. Follow @SeanCablinasian and discover the true measure of a man. And if that measure is determined through show openings then @BrandonStrange is your guy. It’s not always fun and games. Sometimes you need a reality check and that’s what @DELv2 is there for. @johngranato is there because Four Square is how he keeps up with the whereabouts of the rest of the Animals. Writing of animal, @Taskmaster1560. Nothing better than @Taskmaster1560 After Dark tweets starring strippers and Waffle House waitresses. Baseball season is pretty much here so in addition to your normal baseball follows you should definitely add @Willinthe713. Anyone who went to 60+ Astros games last season and lived to tell about it deserves some kind of reward. Plus among Will’s first words on 1560’s air were, “Fu** the Spurs.” To feel better about your own lost mustache bet you can follow along with @travisrodgers’ growth.

There are some people you follow just so you can learn a little more about those sports you don’t have time to follow as closely as you like. For me that’s soccer and hockey which is why I follow the likes of @balboa1979, @bzygo, @Patchmc42, @erinnicks and @SteveintheKT. Steve being the reigning people’s sports Twitter champeen as recognized by The Houston Press.

The extended 1560 family is vast and sometimes furious, looking at you @ChivesMcGee. I expect a YouTube of Chives and Rockets security to go viral after any game now. Some you follow because they’re major supporters of the institution of marriage like @ConceptMayhem who I’d love to see do an infograph a week in sports or whatever because the Gary Kubiak one was classic.

Gotta love @fidoz/@bcstagg’s TV and Netflix reviews and rankings on Apedonkey.blogspot.com, the life and times of people like @RyanLostinTX or @clintshane whose adventures remind you of your younger days, or keeping up with the Rockets through @clutchfans and @MigM_, or the Texans through, well half of my follow list from @StephStradley to @DoctorFootball to @BigRon281 to @Zepp1978 whose P90x tweets got me to try it and put me in the best shape of my life. I’m a fan of logical, common sense sports tweeters like @Rgraves04 and @IMKristenBell. Well one of those tweets sports, the other is just as cute as a button. You can figure out which is which. @dskillzhtown and @Tony_Five_O also use an inordinate amount of thought and logic in their sports thinking. So rare these days. Also rare in my follow list are ladies who tweet-ertain. @amyzann and @ktsowa do just that.

Some are worth a follow just because anytime you see their name pop up on your timeline it makes you laugh regardless of what they tweet, which is also pretty entertaining. @CockShittington and @biscuitsnwhores fall into that category. Need a fill-in bouncer? Santa? Writer? That’s what @Cody_Love is for. @egut74 retweets the most odd celebrity tweets. I haven’t checked, but he has to follow at least 500 celebrity or semi-celebrities. Some people you thought you followed because you see them RT’d all the time or hear their name on the radio @SeanINCypress fell into that category for me until last weekend.

There are those I follow who are recently engaged and will soon experience the overwhelming fun of wedding planning - @dstagg and @Bob_e_B.

It’s always fun to play MST3K watching Top Chef and going back and forth with a bunch of people I’ve previously mentioned, but special mention to @JayDirt1560. DO NOT challenge him to a drinking contest. I’ve met him a couple of times and each time he had to put down a drink or a shot to shake my hand. Some others I’ve gotten the pleasure of meeting or seeing again at El Real a couple of Saturdays ago are @atxhobogrl, @TyMo214 and @malikthomas whose acting along with @KJ1560’s in Horrible Turn is what James Lipton uses as a teaching tool.

If I shouted to a Longhorn like Jay gotta shout to some Ags like @TxAg97 and @ItsMeMikeC who is Houston’s own Wysocki, at least that’s how I picture it. Or maybe he's McNulty. I don't know. Point is if you get pulled over, you DM @ItsMeMikeC as fast as you can.

Looking for solid food follows beyond the actual chefs or restaurants? Of course that’s where @imneverfull comes in along with @tastybitz and @esandler.

@teamracerx has put me on some strong music in the past.

I have a whole family of entertaining or informative @The’s I follow from fellow boxing fan @The_HoZay to media hoops champion @The_Jermaine to the hardest working man in local hoops coverage @TheHRReview.

I don’t follow any other local sports radio guys beyond the 1560 crew because, well why? Notable exceptions are @awexler and @MJ4Sports because they don’t suck. Neither does @AdamClanton who out-romeyed Rome last week with @travisrodgers. I also follow @KTARJeremy because sometimes you need an update on traffic in Arizona. I miss Fizzle.

Twitter also allows you to check in on family members who despite no longer being kids take their sports teams losses very seriously. @SeanyeBest is my Villanova-loving brother and it was nice to see him tweet after all the ‘Nova dramatic collapses this season. It was nice to see the tweets because then I knew he hadn’t killed himself yet. Seriously, ‘Nova, WTH?!

When I signed up a year ago I thought I’d be a Twitter lurker, but sometimes even if you think the water is deathly cold you need to jump in the pool and check out the temperature for yourself. I jumped in the pool last March and have been peeing in it daily ever since. Yes, that warming sensation? That's on me.

9 comments:

  1. Great Post. Best FF in twitter history almost made me cry.

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  2. Oh one more thing, you'd make my life easier if you added a tweet this button to the blog.

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  3. If my laptop wasn't as screwed up as it is I could probably figure out how to add a Tweet This. But at least I have this piece of crap lap top. Sorry to see you had your truck broken into.

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  4. Great post, Danny! Lance always teases me b/c I lOVE twitter, waiting to see what everyone has to say.

    Funny about Jay Glazer...his tweets kept showing up for me, and I finally asked Lance if he was RTing him or what. Turns out to eff with me, Lance had me follow him. Things married people do for fun. Mess with their wife or try for another kid...

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  5. Thanks. Your post on Lance, the boys and Butler was great in so many ways. I hope Butler can keep the magic going for a Christmas in April at the Zierlein household.

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  6. Great Post Danny,

    Way to Swing that sword High! By the way i seen Lance & Solis with their lovely wives at El Real Mock Dinner, ..Oh Wait..WTF? I just remembered Lance Shook my wifes hand... Damn It! I gotta get her to take a Pregnancy Test ASAP, FU** ME! Gotta Run.

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  7. I would just like to point out that I don't only tweet about food (and by food, I mean eating out). There are also tweets about how frustrating it is to be an Astros fans and my usually terrible football picks. Oh, and pictures of my dogs. So, ya know, something for everybody!

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  8. It's frustrating to be an Astros fan?

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  9. Are you saying that by now I should have just accepted that they're terrible? You're probably right.

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