Thursday, May 20, 2010

Man, living at home is such a drag. Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted!)

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--That’s what I’m talking about Lost! I really, really wanted to see Ben be Ben one more time before it’s all I over and I definitely got that. Loved when he shot Widmore and blasted him with, “He doesn’t get to save his daughter.” The only thing better than that? Yep, when Locke slit Zoe’s throat. I swear they put her in the show to draw hate and then make everyone happy with her gruesome death. I see ya workin’ Damon and Carlton. I still think Kate should’ve died two weeks ago, but whatever. I’m assuming Richard isn’t dead and Ben is trying to play Locke. That would be kind of a weak way for it to end for Ricardo.
“Is that the secret-er room?” – Miles. Always good one-liners for Miles.
Who all is going to be at David Sheppard’s concert?
Where is Hurley taking Sayid? Gotta be to see Shannon, right?
Good to see Ana Lucia again.
Can’t wait to see the two worlds collide on Sunday in what may be the most anticipated two and a half hours of television of my television life. More so than Sopranos or even Shield and that’s saying something.
Can’t believe "The End" is just days away. I can’t wait for it, yet I’m dreading it.

--I’ve been waiting for Neil Patrick Harris and Joss Whedon to give us a strong Glee and they delivered. NPH was, well, NPH. Awesome and scene stealing in every way. His dialogue with Sue was hilarious. His "Piano Man" with Mr. Schu was outstanding though I don’t think that song is being released as a downloadable track which makes no sense. I like the song better than Dream On so I’d rather have that, but that’s not to say I didn’t appreciate "Dream On." Crazy good performances. Best part was I fast forwarded through every non-NPH scene and got through it in 25 minutes and I’m pretty sure I didn’t miss anything.

--Our long national nightmare is over…Charlie Sheen has signed a two-year deal to remain on Two and a Half Men. $2 mil an episode. W….T….F…This would be the contract I would point to if I was Andre Johnson's agent.

--Forget Megan Fox not being in it, the real controversy is why the hell do we need a Transformers 3?!

--I love Top Chef, but we’re getting really close to oversaturation if we’re not already past that now. Top Chef University is an online course you can take for $200. I’d tell you more, but I could not be less interested to further investigate.

--We had some good times didn’t we Kaz? No? Oh that's right.

--I haven’t particularly liked this little half season of Chuck, but I do like anytime Scott Bakula is on like he was this week and I assume will be in the 2-hour finale next Monday.

--I hate that Lakers/Celtics is inevitable.

--If you’re a candidate for the U.S. Senate how exactly do you think you’re going to be able to lie about serving in Vietnam? Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut not only lied about his service, but he did it at a ceremony honoring veterans. Classy. The NY Times apparently uncovered this from a speech he gave back in 2008. He didn’t actually go to Vietnam, but it was probably just as difficult to get five military deferments, graduate from Harvard and serve in the Marine Reserve where he had to do some campground work and organize an, I’m sure, hellish Toys for Tots drive.

--That was a candidate FAIL. This is the opposite…
Alabama candidate for Agriculture Commissioner Dale Peterson

Don't let him catch you stealing yard signs at night.

--When you can’t make blue meth like Walt and Jesse sometimes you need to find alternative ways of income. Ivan Lavrusik decided to pimp out his wife, Luba, for $380 an hour. I know what you’re thinking, but this was a classy operation. His wife would take the client into the couple’s own bedroom and have sexy time while her husband watched their 3-year-old in the adjacent room. When the cops busted them they found two handguns, steroids and $182,000 in cash, all Luba’s work. I’m not sure at what point your stop whoring your wife out, but $150,000 seems like a good round number.

--I loved me some Craig Kilborn back in the day so I’m happy to see he’s finally coming back to the small screen after doing whatever it is he decided he wanted to do. Unfortunately his new 30-minute show, that sounds like a combination of his Late Late Show and Daily Show, won’t air in Houston. Apparently it’s getting just a six-city run including in Austin. It’ll begin on June 28th and I look forward to watching Five Questions online then.

--Israel Vasquez and Rafael Marquez IV will be the best IV since Rocky. 8pm Showtime Saturday.

--Oh man, last time it was Grease and now the Rockets marketing department is hitting up Say Anything for renewals. Awesome. If I had renewed and not gotten messages like the following I’d be pissed.
“I mean, you don’t want to be sitting at like the gas-‘n’-sip on a Saturday night while the Rockets are playing at home do you?”

--Cool story in the LA Times about Breaking Bad’s director of photography, Michael Slovis, who kills it every week.

--Wired with a look at 5 lessons TV needs to take away from Heroes’ success and failure. Best of which is: Let Villains Be Villains. Sylar is/was a bad man and they should have always let him be that way.

I think I wanted every one of these people, except the kid, to die at one point or another.

--Apparently most of this season of Curb will take place in New York and that sounds like a great thing if and only if Leon is going to NYC too.

--I’ll probably start watching 24 again since it’s winding down and I want to see how Jack dies/lives before the inevitable 24 movie. TV Squad with a list of 24’s Top Five Villains. Nina is clearly villain #1, but they didn’t come much colder than Sherry Palmer.

So young and innocent back then.

--We knew Elizabeth Perkins was out on Weeds, but now we know Linda Hamilton is in as an eco-marijuana grower.

--Not sure which is the bigger surprise: Mets get an inside-the-park HR, turn a triple play and still lose to the Nationals or that Livan Hernandez’s ERA as of May 20th is 1.62.

--Of course the Chris Klein Mamma Mia audition wasn’t fake. He’s just that bad. Hello? Am I the only one who watched 30 minutes of Street Fighter II: Legend of Chun Li? I’d put the YouTube of it up, but NBC is wiping those out within 30 minutes of a new one posted. But it’s worth searching for on YouTube if for nothing else his endorsement of Mandy Moore. Hilarious.

--Our Florida Story of the Week comes to us from (wait for it) Florida! ‘Twas there Melanese Reid and Katrina Bryant were at a Wendy’s when they got upset because, according to them, they didn’t get the mayonnaise and mustard packets they had requested. Melanese handled the situation like any rational person would. She went inside the kitchen and chased around employees threatening them with her pink stun gun. Of course she told police she feared for her life at the time. Not sure how that works.

--Really The Eagles headlining ACL Fest?! The Eagles?

--Winnie Cooper in Maxim is not a bad thing.

--Planes, Trains, & Automobiles was on the other day so of course I had to watch from the hotel bedroom scene to Steve Martin’s “f’n” classic speech directed at Edie McClurg at the car rental counter.
Thought it was funny that in a scene on the train a little girl was reading Us and the cover was “Why We Love Family Ties.” I did love Family Ties, well until Brian Bonsall.

--If you like fried pickles, and I’m not sure why you wouldn’t, you need to do yourself a favor and hit Zelko Bistro in The Heights for their fried pickles and homemade ranch dressing. $6 for a nice bowlful that is dill-icious. Damn, I’m on fire today.

--Probably not going to make the U.S. census commercial that one of its door-to-door guys was recognized as a sex offender. Probably not a good idea to have a sex offender taking down your family’s ages.

--Flight of the Conchords fix is from a promo for BBC Comedy.

Questions, comments or if your only friend is The End…


  1. Everyone my age can remember how Pulp Fiction revived Travolta's career but just as important is how Harold and Kumar resurrected NPH.

    I would assume SEC Guy approves of Dale Peterson. I wish I lived in Alabama just so I could vote for the guy.

    If Top Chef Masters went away I'm not sure I would notice.

  2. I never watched How I Met Your Mother and it was pretty much Harold and Kumar that brought NPH back to life for me after that awesome performance in Starship Troopers. I had an unhealthy fascination with Starship Troopers.
    Top Chef Masters has really run its course after this season.

  3. Zelko Bistro kid friendly?

  4. Not really. It's just such a tiny space, only seating 45. And they don't take reservations so a wait with kids might not be fun. Good comfort food menu, But their housemade then fried pickles w/ ranch is just awesome.


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