Thursday, June 04, 2009

Oh My, It's A Mirage. I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Who the F cares which Kobe Bryant cover is voted onto NBA 2K10?!

--Colbert guest-editing Newsweek?! Fan-tastic.

--6.4 million watched the first night of I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here?!

--Madeline Zima from Californication is joining Heroes?!

--I don’t know which is less surprising: Eminem was in on the Bruno stunt or that Bruno has already been sued by someone in his upcoming movie.

--Cell phone elbow?! The wussification of America continues…

--I’ve never been one to partake in that pastime of putting makeup or drawing all over someone’s face when they pass out. But my man Tyler Quick of Detroit enjoys an innocent prank like that. The 18-year-old was at a party where a 51-year-old (quite the age range) man passed out so Tyler put some makeup on the guy. But alas no one could see the guy’s face because it was dark. Being a quick-thinker Tyler lit a candle, that’s smart. And put said candle on the guy’s lap, uhhhh. Yeah, third-degree burn to the guy’s crotchal region. The kid pled guilty to something I had never heard of, “assault with intent to commit great bodily harm less than murder.” Okay.

--I was kinda thinking, maybe, possibly, hopefully David Haye was gonna beat Wladimir Klitschko and make the heavyweight division at least a little fun. But that's out the window after Haye's injury forced the bout to be called off.

--If Wipeout had this I may, may tune in...

--The other morning John, Lance, and I were talking about a Mike Leach/Texas Tech system for an innovative soccer team. That team is Costa Rica. At least from what I gathered after watching the first 13 minutes of the Costa Rica/U.S. World Cup Qualifier. WTH was that U.S.?

--Christina Ricci broke off her engagement to Who Cares?!

--Happy Birthday to Tetris which turns 25 on Saturday. Was 1984 not a helluva year? Delirious, Purple Rain, Tetris, Airwolf, Karate Kid, Nightmare on Elm Street, Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Neverending Story, Top Secret, Last Starfighter, Red Dawn, Dune, and of course, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

--A few months ago Time had an awful story about our military recruiters and the challenges and tremendous pressures they face. Sadly a handful have taken their lives. If you’re looking for something depressing to read, I recommend that.

Anyway apparently a U.S. Marine Corps recruiter in California is trying a different tactic. He’s pimping a 14-year-old girl to allegedly garner recruits. Police found the girl in a car with the recruiter and two late teens who were prospective recruits. The girl admitted having had sex with all three guys. You’ll never guess where she met the recruiter. Wait, did you say online?

--Will Marshall from Land of the Lost was gay and was Richard Chamberlain's boyfriend for a year in the 70s?! Chaka is gonna need a shrink?

--Our Dumbass of the Week comes to us from Florida. I’ll wait for the shock to pass. Dumbass goes to bar, plays pool with strangers, asks the stranger who has no teeth for a ride home. Toothless man says ok. They get a few blocks down the road and toofless stops his car, pulls out a gun and demands the dumbass give him the bottle of Xanax he has. Dumbass gives up the bottle, gets out and starts running. Toofless isn’t satisfied so he chases him down and beats up on him some. The cops eventually find Toofless, but umm. Mr. Dumbass you let complete strangers know you had a bottle of Xanax why? You got into a car with a toofless stranger why?

Questions, comments or if you can't believe you ate the whole thing...


  1. Florida is the king of this kind of thing.

  2. Anonymous7:27 AM

    Look up Costa Rica's record at Saprissa stadium. NOBODY beats them there. For one its probably the worst surface in all of soccer. From what I understand its concrete painted green. Their fans are CRAZY though, and the stadium puts them right on top of the field. Very tough place to play. The boys will take it out on Honduras Saturday in Chicago.


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