Your pops caught you smoking and he said, "No way!" That hypocrite smokes two packs a day.

Okay Guys, Band Meeting

--Kurt Warner became the 5th quarterback to have two postseason games with at least four touchdown passes. The others in that group Daryle Lamonica, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning and Kerry Collins. Wait, Kerry Collins?! Just crazy to think Kerry freakin' Collins is 14th all time in passing yards. A 3,000 yard passing season next year and he'll pass Joe Montana and Dan Fouts to get into the top 10. David Carr is in 128th place and rising like a rocket! Watch out Bubby Brister one of those patented Carr 300-yard days and you're next. Ma'am sure has changed her look...


--Seriously Anquan you gonna act like that?

--"Down on the Corner" and "Smooth" while medical personnel were trying to re-attach Willis McGahee's head? Really Pittsburgh PA music picker type person?! "911 is a Joke", maybe, but "Smooth"? That hit by Ryan Clark was sick as was Limas Sweed's block on Corey Ivy after Sweed felt the wrath of bungling that sure TD catch. It'll get lost in the shuffle, but what a cheap ass shot by Quintin Demps on Kurt Warner.

--I'd have preferred Russell Westbrook, but Rudy Fernandez gets into the slam dunk contest on the fan vote.

--It's one thing to make a once-in-a-lifetime dumbass mistake that costs your team a game. Say, for instance, when Arizona's Jamelle Horne fouled a UAB player at halfcourt in a tied ballgame with less than a second on the clock. It's another thing to make a once-in-a-lifetime dumbass mistake twice within a two-month span. Say, for instance, Saturday when Arizona's Jamelle Horne fouled USC's Daniel Hackett at halfcourt in a tied ballgame with 1.3 seconds remaining. Wow. The most patient quote in the world comes from Arizona coach Russ Pennell: "When you play basketball, you make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes."

--Perhaps you recall a certain Ole Miss basketball coach, Andy Kennedy, getting into some trouble with a cab driver. Allegedly Andy dropped some racial blasts and a right hand the cab driver's way. Andy filed a defamation suit against the driver and a witness. Yeah, just after that suit another one was filed by Andy's wife. Kimber is suing the same pair of people in a lack of consortium suit because of the way the accusations have affected her husband. If you are unaware of what consortium is - "The right of a spouse to the company of, help of, affection of, and sexual relations with his or her mate." So yeah, if you're keeping score not only does Andy Kennedy live in Mississippi, now have a reputation of a drinker who can't handle his liquor, is an alleged racist, but everyone now knows he can't consort to his wife's satisfaction. Good luck with all that Andy.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I'm not worried because I don't think the premiere of the Conchords could possibly meet expectations because of the long wait, but...

--It wasn't always a slam dunk, but thankfully Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner re-upped with Lionsgate keeping him at the helm of the boys and girls on Madison Avenue for two more seasons.

--A very, very good thing - Margarito/Mosley isn't on PPV this weekend. First boxing PPV isn't until May, which is a mini-miracle.

--Seriously UFC, Co-Fights of the Night?! Marcus Davis and Chris Lytle was obviously the Fight of the Night, but adding Mark Coleman and Shogun Rua to that was just ridiculous. That fight was bo-ring! I've seen better cardio on The Biggest Loser. Unfortunately most of the card wasn't much better. My boy Rousimar broke his hand in the first round and while he won he couldn't finish Jeremy Horn. It didn't end up costing Hendo the fight, but how the hell could one judge score all three rounds for Rich Franklin?! So Dan Henderson is your U.S. coach opposite Michael Bisping on the next Ultimate Fighter. Andre Berto v. Luis Collazo was the real fight of Saturday night. The only decision worse than 3 rounds for Franklin was 116-111 for Berto. I gave it to Collazo. Either way it'd be nice to see it again.
Obvious helmet-to-helmet hit.
--Uh-oh, last year the Lingerie Bowl was cancelled at the half and now this year two weeks before the real big game the expected site in West Tampa is pulling the rug out from underneath the ladies. Fortunately a clothing optional resort in Florida came through except the bowl will be played on Saturday instead of Sunday at halftime. Tampa Breeze v. Miami Caliente. Oh wait, this story keeps changing. Now some players have a problem playing at a nudist resort. The Sporting Blog with a priceless quote from QB Reby Sky, "I don't have anything against the lifestyle. But we as a players were having a hard enough time dealing with and defending against the negative stigmas and stereotypes associated with the sport and playing attire before it was announced that we would be playing at a nudist resort." So a lingerie football player who has appeared in Playboy now has problems "playing" at a nudist resort, got'cha.

Ms. Sky

Also Ms. Sky


--I don't know which I'm less excited about, Rick Reilly's little Hometown show or the upcoming "SportsCenter Mount Rushmore of Sports." It can't be as worthless as "Who's Hot" or "Titletown." I think ESPN is determined to make everyone hate Rick Reilly.

--Bobby Flay has "crunchify" trademarked?! Flay's radio show is 9-11 AM on Thursdays on Sirius/XM Channel 108. It also replays weekend afternoons.

--Gunaxin compiled a list of the top 25 hottest Brits. Some of them you know, like Rachel Weisz at 24. Some of them you may not, like Lindsey Strutt at 18. A gross injustice to Abbey Clancy at 21.

--Joaquin Phoenix = incoherent rapper. Yeah, that's about right.

--A Veronica Mars movie?!

--I know January is a crap month for movies and I guess something has to be #1, but Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Maybe I'm just down on Mall Cop because I've seen the trailers a million times and my love of cinema dies a little each time. Let's check some random Rotten Tomatoes comments from the critics because maybe it does deserve to make $33.8 million last week.
"...this is a masterpiece compared to anything Rob Schneider has put out only it suffers from the same form of stereotyping."
"A couple of Segway jokes stretched to an hour and a half running time. "
"James struggles to make unfunny material tolerable"
"Give this to Paul Blart: Mall Cop: It delivers on everything it promises. Which is to say, nearly nothing."
"Perfectly inoffensive and almost entirely unfunny."
Go figure.

--Your Quote of the Week comes to us from Kelli McCarty who once upon a time was Miss America, that time being 1991. Now she's a part of Vivid Entertainment and that means her first porn movie comes out two days after The Killers concert here. The movie has one of the most boring porn titles ever - Faithless. Anyway, why porn Kelli? "I enjoy acting, and I really like sex, so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions." She was also on Passions for six years.

--Like anything Kwame-related, U2 can do no wrong in my book. "Get On Your Boots", I'm down.

--It's free NBA league pass week so we have that going for us.

--Finally Lost is back.

--And holy crap is Battlestar Galactica back!


--I guess Notorious is causing some riots around the nation. I guess they went in thinking they bought a ticket to Mall Cop and were disappointed to the point of violence. I dunno. In Kenosha last weekend about midnight some people started throwing down. Officers showed up and that was that, well until about 200 people went outside and everyone knew it was about to really be on! How did they know? That sure fire sign as described by the Kenosha News, "several men start stripping off their shirts to continue fighting." I would think that temperatures in the single digits would curb fighting outside, but now I know.

Questions, comments or if you lied to a beet farmer (I'm looking at you Angela)...