Monday, January 26, 2009

Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling. Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'


--Remember when Rick would leave in whoever was hot off the bench on a particular night while sitting a cold starter? Yeah, me neither.

--Gotta love Nate Robinson (unless he's killing the Rockets). Apparently Nate is a big Call of Duty guy. He was playing against some stranger online the other night and Nate told the guy who he was. Of course the guy didn't believe him because everyone knows you have to be over 5 feet to play Call of Duty. So Nate told the non-believer to watch his next free throws because he would throw up a Call of Duty salute. And of course Nate did just that. Yay for me finishing Act 1 of Metal Gear: Guns of Liberty.

--Deandre Jordan pulled down 20 boards last Sunday in just his 4th career start. The only other guys who have ever done that are Shaq, Duncan and perhaps the best of the mall...Aaron Gray.

--Look the Eastern Conference is very much improved at the top and middle this season, but damn Kings 0-18 against the East this season?! Even the Thunder has 4 wins against the East.

--When Christmas rolled around the Timberwolves were on a nice 13-game losing streak and got rid of their coach. So yeah a 10-2 January thus far was totally expected.

--The Celtics and Cavaliers each have 24 wins by at least 10 points. Half the teams in the league don't have 24 wins total.

--Bruce Bowen was less than 70,000 votes away from starting in the All-Star Game?! How about Rafer Alston getting more votes than Jason Kidd? Of course Brandon Roy and Chauncey Billups were under both of those guys.

--Multi-year deal with Bobby Boswell = nice. I don't think the Dynamo has played in like 7 weeks so a game has to be coming up soon.

--I'm pretty sure no Super Bowl commercial is going to top this...

--If you're keeping track of such things, Jason Lane a Blue Jay.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--If you didn't see the Jessica fat pictures that hit the web this week, you're lucky. She looked like she ate Jorvorskie Lane.

--The Dark Knight could have made The Oscars somewhat relevant instead they're as relevant as The Oscars.

--Don Draper/Jon Hamm once auditioned for Alec Baldwin's role on 30 Rock?! The lovely Mrs. Draper...

--The Top Chef finale featuring Stefan and someone will be in Nawlunz with Emeril as a judge. Can't see Emeril being critical.

--I have got to get one of those Colbert/P.K. Winsome “Yes, I Thought I’d Live to See This Day” t-shirts.

--Wow, Sugar. Just wow. The welterweight division is just sick. Shane just completely dismantled my boy Margarito. I'd love to see Shane and Floyd get together, but who knows what's going on in that head of Floyd's.

--Wild flying knee? Really Andrei?

--Sadly Fedor and Sugar's big nights were upstaged by the one we've all been waiting for. Danny Bonaduce v. Jose Canseco. It ended in a draw. Somehow this abomination was available on PPV.

--Keep an eye out on IFC for The Pope of Greenwich Village. What with Mickey Rourke getting his Wrestler run IFC has been running it. I had never seen it and had I not I would never imagined Eric Roberts with a perm or Burt Young as a food-loving Italian, go figure. Daryl Hannah post-Splash, pre-Roxanne.

--Richard Glover of Columbus had a fun night last week. His Thursday night began with some alky-hol, but really got going once he stole a car. He managed to drunk drive for nearly a whole mile....before crashing....into a Alcoholics Anonymous building. In a related story, Blue Light Cemetery.

--Katie Stam of Indiana is your Miss America, which apparently still goes on.

--I don't think this is too surprising for any of you with 16-year-old daughters, but we head to Delaware where parents made the decision that would automatically put their lives in the balance. Yep, they took away their 16-year-old daughter's cell phone. Apparently daughter stole some money from mom's purse to buy a prepaid phone card hence the punishment. So dad takes the phone. What does crazy girl take? Two knives from the kitchen. Game on. Parents ran into their bedroom and locked the door as daughter went Shining on the door. So the cops came and crazy daughter still had to be talked down for 10 minutes before giving up the blades.

--Jemaine: "I knew when you bought that cup that I'd end up in jail"

--Joe Buck had restaurants to fail?! Whatever happened to that can't miss idea of giving him a talk show?

--You'd think they'd appreciate the help, but nah. Turns out the Chicago Police Department has enough officers. A 14-year-old boy somehow got his hands on a police uniform and walked into the Grand Crossing District station in the afternoon. He walked out with his very own partner. The kid even signed out a radio and ticket book as they went on traffic stops. Rest assured the kid never actually got behind the wheel of the car. Because, ya know, that would have been embarrassing to the department. The kid was busted when he was asked for some credentials by a nosy higher-up. His partner was apparently Detective Billings. Damn, Billings and Dutch haven't been given their Shield spin-off yet?

--Sean Salisbury is gonna have a mid-day radio show in Dallas?

--Look I like Steve Martin, but how in the hell is there another Pink Panther?!

--Really the only question is how did it take so long for T.O. to get a "reality" show? The best part of Hard Knocks was when Roy Williams reenacted Terrell's beach run complete with slo-mo. Classic.

--Saturday night party in Denton! You know what that means (Watching old Von Erich tapes? Heroin?). A shootin'! There was a small party going on when some 28-year-old idiot put a revolver to his head and pulled the trigger. It wasn't loaded so idiot changed all that real quick. He loaded it and tried again. Much success. The guy's roommate was in a back bedroom asleep and dialed 911. Four witnesses did what people do in that situation. Hell yeah, smoke a joint and go to the theater to watch a movie! The cops said the witnesses told them the movie "was to calm them down." And you read this and the only thing you wonder is what movie?

--Lost makes my head hurt. Ms. Hawking is Faraday's mom? Miles is the son of the Dharma doc? I'm thinking Sun sent the lawyers after Kate and not Ben. I really hope those Ginsu guys are World War II era. That's all that's missing from this crazy sh**. Loved the deadpan exchange between Locke and the ageless Richard:
Locke: "What is that?"
Richard: "It's a compass"
Locke: "What does it do?"
Richard: "It...points north, John."

--Because you know you want to read an interview with the SnorgTees girl...

Questions, comments or if your treadmill died and you're not sure life is worth living...or if you started off your Monday morning by spilling your coffee everywhere...

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