Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The sun is beating down on my baseball hat. The air is gettin' hot the beer is getting flat.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--The Naked Cowboy is getting his own reality show that is supposed to be like an American Idol for street performers. Yay us.

--The final season of The Shield premieres September 2nd and the series finale sadly comes our way November 25th.

--Sadly Leryn Franco didn't medal although i'm sure some javelins were offered to her during her stay in the village.

--In You've Got To Be F'n Kidding Me news...Crystal Mangum ring a bell? She was the accuser in the Duke lacrosse rape case. Yeah, she's coming out with a memoir. Wow, her public relations person had this priceless quote:
"It is "the only definitive account of the life and struggles of the woman at the center of the Duke Lacrosse case, the alleged accuser. Were it not for the Duke Lacrosse Case, she likely would be described as a bright, young woman from Durham, North Carolina, who has had a difficult life."
Uh-huh.
In a non-related story, a very talented female soccer player has committed to Duke. Name? Ashley Rape.

--The "Boom Goes The Dynamite" guy has a TV job in Waco?!

--Michael Phelps...eight gold medals AND Stephanie Rice. There's your Best Week Ever.

--David Blaine's next underwhelming feat will be to walk on the underside of a thin wire that'll be draped five stories high across Central Park. He'll be attached to the wire by magnetic walking boots and will walk 60 hours over a three-day span. What's up now Gravity, think you all bad.

--The next Dancing With The Stars cast is out. Someone wussed out and Lance Bass' partner will be a chick. Brooke Burke will be fun to look at for a while.
Rocco Despirito has a new show coming out in October so he's in with that ridiculous body as his partner, Karina Smirnoff. Maurice Greene gets the lovely Cheryl Burke. Misty May Treanor also repping the Olympians. Kim Kardassian gets last year's winner as her partner, whoever that was. Some kid on Hannah Montana is lucky enough to get Julianne Hough as his partner. Gee, I wonder if a Hannah Montana kid will get a lot of text votes? Erica Kane is in. Ted McGinley is this season's Steve Guttenberg. Guttenberg, just typing it makes me laugh. Jeffrey Ross should have some nice lines reserved for Bruno. Warren Sapp will try not to squash Kym Johnson.

--In Only in Jersey news...Atco and Jersey Pines faced off in a midget (hey midgets, you gonna let them dog you like that?) football grudge match or a nicer way to say it is 8-year-olds gathered on a field for a football scrimmage to learn life's lessons. Lesson # 1 keep one eye on the guy across from you and the other eye on their assistant coaches. Isiah Johnson learned Lesson # 1 the hard way when the opposing team's 31-year-old assistant rolled up on him and slammed him on the ground. Coach grabbed the kid's facemask and said, "If you ever do that again I'll break your f'n neck!" The 8-year-old's reaction? He kneed the coach in the balls or he cried. There's the truth and there's the way you hope things would have been.

--Wow Kimbo is really stepping up the competition. I mean Ken Shamrock? Holy crap, that guy has been on fire, right? I won't bother checking, but I assume he hasn't lost since 1996 when he was relevant in MMA.

--The Jets may suck and seeing as how I have Thomas Jones I hope they don't, but props to them for one thing. Unlike the Giants the Jets aren't putting a PSL attachment on every seat in the stadium. The Favres will just have PSLs for the lower bowl.

--I'm not saying and by "I'm not saying" I'm saying the Colts own the AFC South. Sixty straight weeks Indy has been first in the division.

--Wait, Denise Richards' show on E! got canned? Wow, who saw that coming?

--In Take a Ticket news...Justin Long next in line for Kirsten Dunst. Geez, you'd think it might be difficult to find a chick who's been tagged more often than Drew Barrymore and yet Justin Long didn't give up in his quest to be #452.


--Your Sick M'fer of the Week comes to us from San Antonio. Jennifer Richards is your worthless piece of crap human being that needs to be put away for life. Richards got caught by an FBI informant after offering her 5-year-old daughter up for sex in exchange for a car, apartment and money. Richards' had a 10-month-old as well that she was planning a child porn future for. Yeah, she's in jail. Hell on hold.

Questions, comments or if you think Juan Carlos Navarro and USA's defense took No Layups! to mean Only Runners!...

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