Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Routines I Bust Rhymes I Write

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Holy crap, if you didn't see South Park last week let me lead you here so you can watch the parts without the mouse running around with a penis growing on it. You're welcome. I definitely need to revisit Stand and Deliver.

--Best news I've heard all week...The season finale of Lost has been extended by an hour because the producers felt they needed more showtime to wrap up all the season's storylines. So now we get a three-hour finale!

--Sadly we get no more of Rick Gumbel on the NFL Network's game broadcasts.

--The Contender is being dropped by ESPN. Alfonso Gomez was dropped by Miguel Cotto. After his 2007 no complaints about Cotto taking a glorified sparring session. Obviously Floyd will keep dodging him, but Cotto and Margarito...oh hells yeah!

--Food Network's own Chefography was the strongest though Duff's wasn't far behind. I went without Food Network for way too long in my life so I never saw stuff like Getting Healthy or Food News & Views and the female co-host who, at the times, was the wife of Rudy Giuliani. And Robin Leach hosted a show?! How about Bobby Flay ending up marrying the show host?! Stephanie March a nice improvement. There was a Feeding Your Family for $99 a week?!

--There's good news and then there's great news....Good news is that U2's Boy, October, and War are all going to be re-released on July 21st as remastered deluxe editions. Great news is that the boys could be coming out with a new album in the fall.

--In Bad news-news...The Flight of the Conchords have no scheduled stops anywhere close to Texas next month while they will be hitting stops in the northeast and west.

--Okay blind people we get it, you're bad asses who can be drug-using, womanizing governors or 85-year-old golfers who hit holes-in-one. Stop making us sighted normies look bad. The golfer was Robert Dunham at a course in Arizona where was playing with a group of blind veterans. Dunham who was good enough to serve in WWII smacked a 9 iron on one hop into the hole.

--Night of Too Many Stars was as outstanding as you'd expect. I mean when Triumph is in the opening number and The Roots is your house band, yeah it's gonna great. Will Ferrell got to revisit his days as Dubya. Steve Carell showed us all the value or non-value of $100. Nice to see Susie and Larry getting along even in Curb's offseason. "They Didn't Start Autism."

--Ana Ivanovic is going to be on a Serbian stamp because she's hot and supposedly she plays tennis, but I've never seen her play. Then again I stopped watching tennis years ago. Why watch tennis when there are a million sports blogs that will post pics of the hotter chicks that I'm watching for anyway?

--It's D-League award time...Idaho Stampede coach Bryan Gates, who is known as the best head coach not on an NBA bench but on one in Idaho, won his 2nd straight Dennis Johnson Coach of the Year award. Jason Collier has an award named after him. It's for Sportsmanship and went to Billy Thomas. Remember Randy Livingston? He made the D-League's First Team. The MVP was Kasib Powell while the Impact Player of the Year (whatever that is) was Rice's own Morris Almond (damn you Jazz).

--Congratulations to Damon Stoudamire who had all charges dropped against him in his marijuana possession case. Also congratulations to a system that only takes four and a half years to resolve a misdemeanor and it only took two appeals to Arizona's Supreme Court. You may remember this all started when Damon "Mighty Genius" Stoudamire tried to take some marijuana through airport security. He figured it wouldn't set off the metal doctor because it's an all-natural plant. I'm not sure, but the aluminum foil might have hindered his otherwise well thought out plan.

--There's really nothing to add to first line of this ABCNews report:
"A 27-year-old teacher in Texas has been arrested after he applied for a marriage license with his underage student, even though her parents gave consent."
I think that about sums it up.

--Last week Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson got married. This week Ashlee announced she's pregnant. What a coincidence.

--Weeds comes back June 16th!!! Albert Brooks is gonna guest on some episodes?!

--About the only thing I really missed since going veggie years ago was Chik-Fil-A sandwiches. Didn't really miss Slim Jims so really not excited about their soy Primal Sticks.

--Big changes for the 4th installment of that movie that has a bunch of cars and bad actors. Fast and Furious. That's right the producers dropped the 'the' in this memorable movie franchise. Apparently Vin and Paul Walker (Hayden Christensen thinks you can't act) are back as well as Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster.

--Hey Russ Endres of Wisconsin Management stop being a dick and let Jordan Gonnering move to another apartment already. He said he'd move to another of your properties to finish out the 16 months left on his lease. He just doesn't want to spend another night in the same flat that he came home to last week only to find his 21-year-old fiancee murdered. Seems reasonable. They still haven't found the killer.

--Missouri, South Dakota, Vermont and Minnesota are four states where bills have been filed to lower the drinking age to 18. A few other states have proposals to allow military members 18 and up to drink alcohol.

--Speaking of alk-y-hol, hey La La when the police call you to come pick up Carmelo's drunk ass you then go pick up his drunk ass. For better or for worse ring a bell?

Questions, comments or if you have an extra hamstring you can loan Skip...

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