Monday, June 04, 2007

Always Updated and In The Know

--Thanks for finding me here. I know it's not easy seeing as how the station decided to hide the blogs in a slow rotating window on the page that has no controls displayed so you have to wait through the b.s. to get to what you want and that's the 'tribes y'all. Brilliant.

MVP, Rookie of the Year, and 100 Losses…Fan-tastic!!!

A hundred losses is probably a bit much, but who the hell knows. I mean it took until June 3 rd for someone in the front office to realize Jason Lane is worthless. He passed through waiver unclaimed? No way. Jason called it "an eye opener". It took that to open your eyes? So you've been going up to bat with your eyes closed because that would explain a lot? Let's see how many more months Brian Moehler and Orlando Palmeiro get. The manager has sat Mark Loretta all three times on the day after he gets a 4-hit game. What kind of f'n sense does that make? What really scares me as someone who is always looking long-term is that these guys still aren't double-digits out of first in the crappy Central. So Phil and Tim might just keep sticking with these garbage players and think they'll turn it around and then it'll be on. Yeah, it ain't happening. These aren't the Astros of recent years. These are the Astros of 2007 and they are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

--Scott Elarton is 0-6 with an 8.58 ERA in his career vs. the Devil Rays. That's the highest ERA against Tampa of any pitcher with at least 20 innings.

--The Rangers are now 1-8-1 in road series. The lone series win being in Houston, of course.

--In what is surely a sign of things to come…Before making his postgame comments the other night David Wells announced his words were being presented by No mention of the $100 owes Danny Vara for the b.s. higher full house he lost his last penny to.
Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Anything happen on Sopranos this week? Sucks to see Sil gone, but after he made that kill at the beginning you kind of figured that was his last hurrah. One of the best scenes ever was Tony and Sil doing the slow-mo Raging Bull punches while the music played. Classic. Good time to go toy shopping Bobby. Loved hearing The Doors' "When the Music's Over". Very nice. How about Man-genius with wifey at Artie's restaurant. Weren't we all rooting for AJ to find his belt so that he could end his crybaby role once and for all. The only thing I was hoping more for was seeing Furio come back to take care of Phil. You had to really be paying attention, but on the marquee outside the Bing was a promotion for the Holyfield-Lewis PPV. I can't believe we have just one more episode left. No excuse for this series not going out with a two-hour finale.

--I was late to Weeds, but just finished up season 2. Best thing ever on Showtime, with the exception of any scene involving Sarah Shahi in The L Word.

--LeBron last Thursday – unbelievable. Boobie last Saturday – incredible. Cavaliers in the Finals – Probably forgettable. Either way LeBron is in it so you gots to watch. What he did in Game 5 was one of the greatest performances in postseason history regardless of sport. So much fun on Saturday, and really that entire series, watching Daniel Gibson rock and/or roll all over the Pistons. I watched him play every one of his years at Jones. I watched him cry his eyes out as a sophomore when his boys lost to Dion Dowell and Texas City. We are so privileged here in Houston to see some of these guys at the high school level before they make it big. Daniel has made it big.

--So many does LeBron go for if his baby boy happens to be born on the same day as one of the Finals games?

--Hell's Kitchen is back, baby! Top Chef is back this week as well! The Next Food Network Star also returns – yawn.

--Young Racer X will be played by Scott Porter/Jason Street from Friday Night Lights who can't make it through a shoot accident-free apparently.

--Seriously MTV Movie Awards…Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead Men's Chest = Best Movie?!?!

--I'm curious to see how well it does at the box office and how good it will be, but The Simpsons movie comes out July 27 th. Green Day will have the theme and will appear in the movie.

--Promising news…Denise Richards is going to play a stripper in A Beautiful Life.

--The NHL is thinking about going with a bigger net?! Al-Jazeera got turned down for a Stanley Cup Finals press credential?! Take interest where you can get interest NHL. I'm sure if you put the Finals on Al-Jazeera they'd get better ratings than being on Versus.

--No, it wasn't a dream. An American reclaimed the hot dog eating record from Kobayashi. Joey Chestnut devoured 59 and ½ dogs in 12 minutes over the weekend at some mall in Arizona. Kobayashi's record was 54 and ¼. Probably not right for me to look forward to Memorial Day for the NCAA lacrosse championship game and July 4th for the Coney Island hot dog eating contest.

--Natalee Holloway's mom and Jon Benet's dad are dating?!

--2006 saw 16,185 murders in the U.S. and 92,837 rapes. F'n disgusting.

--Chad Johnson is going to race a horse on June 9th at River Downs. He’ll start from the outside rail going 11/16 of a mile while the horse goes from the inside at the eighth pole. Supposedly this will create a photo finish.

--Niles/Sideshow Bob's brother/David Hyde Pierce is gay?! No way. Is the earth still revolving?

--Lost Season 3 on DVD will be out on December 11th. Unfortunately Season 4 doesn't start until after the next Super Bowl.
That coffin we saw in the finale would have had to been a lot longer to fit in Maggie's sticks.

--Thanks for going to 12 oz. bottles sugar-free Red Bull, but why stop there? I mean 12 oz. are good, but wouldn't 24 oz. be twice as good?

--There was a recent item about Jimmy Fallon in some newspaper the other day talking about how he was at the Kentucky Derby and how he partied at a frat house the night before and was hungover as hell. Okay, no surprise, apparently for a terrible actor, an all right comedian, he's a great, down to earth guy. Anyway, the point is the story called him "The Almost Famous Star." Yeah, when I think of Almost Famous, I think Jimmy Fallon's star vehicle. Huh? How about going with "former SNLer" or "Weekend Update guy" or "guy who can't keep a straight face"?
Stillwater Rules!

--UFL huh? Good luck with that. At least we can follow David Carr's progress.

--Darren Arofonosky is going to do a more sci-fi version of Noah's Ark?! That's promising. I can't wait to find an hour and a half to watch The Fountain. If you haven't seen Requiem of a Dream or Pi you probably should although Requiem will make you cringe and Pi will make your head hurt.

--Nothing like a good American flag story in between Memorial Day and July 4 th, which usually are kind of associated with this country. In Raleigh there are a couple of stores along Capital Boulevard and these stores proudly fly American flags out front. The Fiddle Stix (don't know what they sell, but great name) has seven flags while some auto dealership flies 10. The Raleigh city code only allows three. Huh? How do you place a limit on how many American flags you can fly? The stores have until Sunday to take them down or they face a $500 fine which will presumably be used to buy Russian and Korean flags. Supposedly this enforcement is all part of a clean up effort for Capital Boulevard. Whatever.

--The competition continues to heat up for Father of the Year honors. This time we stay in-state and go to Goliad where a father was trying to make it to Houston for his son's graduation. Well, that sounds boring so I'm sure Omar Cruz Garza has something up his sleeve. Sleeve, no, but in the pickup he was driving yes. Garza had a DVD player, power tools, a camera, and for good measure a safe. Garza, who is on parole until Friday, clearly had no choice but to offer officers (pulled over for speeding) a fake ID when asked for identification. Talk about entrapment, geez. (Side note: When using fake IDs, make sure that unlike Garza you don't have your real name tattooed across your back, makes it easier for you. Also when stealing a safe make sure the fake ID you're using doesn't have papers with the same name in the stolen safe.) Oh yeah, the truck was reported stolen 12 hours before Garza was stopped and all of those items were from a residential burglary. He also had some cocaine with him and actually told the police it was a graduation present for his son in Houston.

Questions, comments or if you remember the time when you brought an airline bottle of alcohol to your high school cafeteria and it spilled forcing an immediate evacuation of the table leaving it for the freshmen to deal with.....and the worst part was you were a substitute teacher at the time.....just a joke Dobie.....

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