Tuesday, October 03, 2006

There's More to Me Than You'll Ever Know

Can’t Win ‘Em All (or even 2 out of 3)

It was a fun ride for those last 12 games or so. For a team as bad as this one was for 150 games for it to come down to the very last day was unbelievable. Everything that went wrong for the first 150 came back to haunt them in the last three games. Sunday they left 11 runners on base. Worse than that how ya gonna lose a must-win when you out-hit your opponent 9-3? Pathetic. Almost as pathetic as the Cardinals. You can’t talk about how good Houston was without mentioning how nearly historical awful St. Louis was over the same stretch. That is the very definition of backing into the playoffs. Yeah, they were the better team over 162 or 161 games, but just barely. So now we turn the page on this Astros squad and the next page better have some new names added and some familiar ones erased. Thanks for making things interesting, but for future reference an 8.5 game deficit on September 19th is too much to make up, even for you guys.

--The Astros and Devil Rays tied for dead last in batting average at .255. Houston was 25th in runs scoring more than playoff-bound San Diago. Who had a better slugging percentage than the ‘Stros? Everyone except the Pirates.

--Houston was 5th in the Majors in team ERA at 4.08. St. Louis was 16th including a 5.30 ERA in its final 12 games.

--The Big Puma finished 7th in the NL in batting average at .315 just ahead of fellow MVP candidate Ryan Howard (.313). Lance was 4th in home runs and 3rd in RBIs trailing Howard and Pujols in each of those categories. That trio was also 1-2-3 in OPS with Berkman at 3.

--Willy T. was 10th in steals with 33 one fewer than he had last season. Coulda swore he had more than 34 last year.

--It just seemed like Brad Ausmus led the NL in grounding into double plays. In reality he was 5th doing it 21 times. Right behind him? Preston Wilson with 20. Who led MLB in GIDP? Miguel Tejada.

--Roy Oswalt and Johan Santana were the only starters with ERAs under 3.00. At home Johan went 12-0 with an ERA of 2.16.

--Congratulations to the Red Sox who finished third after a record eight straight 2nd place finishes. Your Houston Astros have finished 2nd five straight seasons, which is the second longest streak ever.

--Despite an ERA of 5.00 Randy Johnson won 17 games and, not surprisingly, received more run support than anyone at 7.51. The best supported Astro was Roy at 5.22 good for 43rd in MLB.

--Joe Mauer’s .347 batting average led the AL. He’s the first catcher to ever win the AL batting title. His Twins are the first team to ever make the postseason after taking sole possession of first in a division for the first time on the last day of the season.

--The Cardinals became just the third team to win its division despite a sub-.500 record in it (39-42).

--There’s limping into the playoffs and then there’s the Tigers. Detroit lost its last five games including Sunday’s game against the 100-loss Royals. The Tigers only had a 6-0 lead and a win would’ve put them in a series with the A’s. A 12-inning loss and they get the Yankees. Swept by the Royals at home the final weekend of the season. Ouch.

--Congratulations to the Devil Rays who edged out the Royals to win the first overall pick for the third year in a row. Dynasty?

--I'll take the
to win it all.


It’s official. Crappy is worse than Sucky. The Crappy Dolphins just had no answer for the Sucky Texans. Was that defense I saw? Certainly not from Miami, but Houston actually ran some blitzes and got sack happy all over Daunte, who should really just change his last name or something because that is not Daunte Culpepper out there. Yuck. I mean allowing a team that in three games had three total sacks to sack you three times in the first half alone was inexcusable. Welcome to the NFL, Mario. The guy finally looked good although those 1.5 sacks were about the weakest 1.5 sacks you’ll ever see. Far more impressive to me was his tip of that Ronnie Brown pass on the two-point conversion. His freakish athleticism was on full display right there. Good for him. Now keep it going. The offense did just enough and Andre Johnson made David Carr look good yet again. Andre is just ridiculous right now. It’s just too easy for him. David makes a bad pass and Andre goes and gets it. The Dolphins aren’t the worst team in the league, but they’re worse than the Texans. It’s been hard to scream and yell in support of the Texans, but nothing can galvanize a partly angered and frustrated fan base than beating Dallas in two weeks. 19-10.

--Seriously, a halfback pass on a two-point conversion play? Nick Saban, "It's like every other play. When it works, it's a good play and very innovative. When it doesn't work, it's a bad play. So it was a bad play because it didn't work." Yeah, having your big offseason free agent acquisition hand off and throw a block while your running back tries to pass you into overtime is exactly like every other play.

--Jason Taylor with the most obvious statement of the week, "I'm going to tell you like this. Some people might not believe what I'm about to say. Some might not agree, some might agree. And quite frankly, I really don't care what they think. We are not a very good football team. You could take that, print it. Bold print. We're not a very good football team. Whatever people want to say is the worst team in the league, that's us. That's how we're playing."

--Albert Haynesworth probably should have been gone for the season, but five games is the bare minimum. Classy of PacMan Jones to say after that game that the Titans needed “more thugs.” You sure you don’t want to be fired if you’re Jeff Fisher?

--Four weeks in and Peyton has two rushing touchdowns while Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne have zero receiving. That makes sense.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Eva and Tony done?! Such a shame, those two combined for three and a half feet of good relationship. Four feet of good relationship between Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody, but apparently that’s done as well. Rachel is my sleeper pick for Matt and Adam’s Babe Bracket next year.

--Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man?! Nice.

--Kinda weird that a discrimination story comes out of tolerant Nashville, Tennessee. However, a popular bar there has a dress code banning baggy clothes, chains, sunglasses and even grills. Not only that, but you can’t wear certain labels like Southpole, ECKO, ENYCE, Sean Jean, Phat Farm, FUBU, and more. When will the discrimination against illegal immigrants end? Oh wait.

--Alanis Morrisette and Ryan Reynolds back on, so now you can sleep again.

--Lance Armstrong and Ivanka Trump?! Orlando Bloom and Penelope Cruz?!

--The Departed looks promising and so does this.

--I never thought Borat would get to the point that he’s appearing daily on The Drudge Report. Umm, people do understand he’s a character, right?

--Your mother of the year candidate hails from Tampa. Esther Soto allowed her underage son to grow marijuana. Why? Soto said, “It was a nice looking plant.” For some strange reason she went to jail. Another mother of year candidate for the great state of Florida comes to us from Spring Hill. There Theodosia Haynes got into an argument with her 18-year-old daughter. Mom followed daughter to her room and then sat on her. Somehow the daughter managed to pull out her cell phone, call 9-1-1, and for good measure took pictures of her mother’s awesome child-rearing…child-sitting skills. The cops came, saw the pics and bye, bye Mommy.

--If you’re wondering whatever happened to Zangief, Dhalsim and the rest of the Street Fighter crew, here ya go.

--My favorite drama featuring stranded plane crash survivors on an island with a polar bear, a horse, test hatches, a shipwreck, cool blacklight maps and a black smoke something or other combined with my favorite Phil Collins cover yields this as we get set for season three.

--Sean Penn’s advice to any boy taking out his 15-year-old daughter: “I tell them that whatever they do to my daughter that night, they better be prepared to come home and do it to me too.”

Questions, comments or if you knew little about the entire story and got halfway through reading former Representative Foley’s IM chat before realizing he was chatting with a teenage boy…
By the way, what a completely unpredictable play by Foley going to the alcoholism card. Wow, who saw that coming?

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