Cuz I Gotta Keep It Goin' , Keep It Goin' Full Steam

A Winning Road Trip?

Dare we dream? The Astros did have a winning road trip (minimum 5 games), but that was waaay back in April. Such dreams back in mid-April….like seeing Reggie Bush in a Texans uniform and the U.S. soccer team score two World Cup goals, but I digress. In this pathetic National League Houston sits 6 games below break-even and yet trails the wild card leaders by just 4 games. This weekend another golden opportunity for the boys as they face the Diamondbacks who won’t have Brandon Webb on Saturday. That’s good although facing a rookie is probably worse for this bunch. Hopefully Lance Berkman will be in the lineup and hopefully the Astros won’t be 7 back come Monday. With this team who knows?

--Houston’s .255 team average (last in NL) is pretty ugly until you look at Oakland’s ML worst .247 clip. Since the All Star Game the Astros are hitting .250…the Cardinals .242. At the other end is Minnesota at .318.

--Since the break both Craig Biggio and Aubrey Huff are hitting .227. Brad Ausmus, Chris Burke, Eric Munson and Preston Wilson are all hitting .200 or below. What a surprise. How bad has it been going for Burke? Over that span he’s struck out more times than Preston. As for the pitchers since the break…Dan Wheeler and Dave Borkowski are the only guys who haven’t given up a run. Good thing we only see Borker once every two weeks, hate to put his scoreless innings streak in jeopardy.

--Let’s see how Wandy Rodriguez is doing at Round Rock. He went a whole 3.1 innings on Wednesday giving up 11 hits, 4 walks and 9 runs. Ouch! He’s 1-2 with a 9.20 ERA down there or up there depending on where you are.

--Seriously MLB, you gotta find something better to do than messing with The Chorizo in Milwaukee. I know you're not better than that, but c'mon.

--A dollar if you can name the team that has the lowest ERA since the break…No, not the Twins, not the Tigers, not the A’s. It would be none other than the Pittsburgh Pirates at 3.70.

--The Dodgers have followed their 8-game losing streak with a 6-game winning streak including a sweep of the sliding Reds.

--Greg Maddux didn’t allow a hit in his Dodgers debut. For the first time in his career he wasn’t wearing # 31. Brad Penny didn’t want to give # 31 up so Maddux went with # 36 and I’m guessing he’ll stick with it until he gives up a hit.

--Like the Tigers needed to get stronger…Dmitri Young has 16 hits, 5 HRs and 11 RBIs in the 12 games since he’s come back.

--Since the 2004 postseason, in walkoff situations in the 9th or later David Ortiz is 11-14 with 7 HRs and 20 RBIs.

--The Mets will honor their damn ’86 World Series team on August 19th. Davey Johnson, Dwight Gooden, Darryl Strawberry and Ray Knight won’t be there for whatever reasons. If you’re in need of a good sports read and you can handle reliving the ’86 NLCS then The Bad Guys Won by Jeff Pearlman is a must-read.

--Oh those wacky minor league promotions…The Newark Bears are having a “Britney Spears Baby Safety Night.” Fans will get baby car seat information and a chance to win a free car seat.

--Let’s look at what Jose Canseco has to say about Mark McGwire getting into the Hall: "I definitely think he deserves it, especially for saving the game. No matter if chemicals had a part in it or not. He saved the game at one point. He and Sammy Sosa. They did what they did, you can't take that away from them. It's the chemical era. How do we know these pitchers he hit the home runs off of weren't on steroids themselves? Come on, let's be fair."

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--As usual it takes a death to bring something stupid to my attention for the first time. This time it’s an idiotic act known as “skitching.” Yeah, skitching is when a car passenger drags his or her (surely females don’t partake in this stupidity) feet along the road while the car goes on its merry way. Joseph Cooper (RIP) decided to skitch the other night about 1 AM on Sunrise Highway in New York. He fell out and that was that.

--I checked out V For Vendetta. That was a mistake.
Lucky Monkey.

--On behalf of all of mankind I’d like to thank Jessica Simpson or whoever bought her that fantastic blue dress.

--Who doesn’t enjoy a nice Sports Guy column on ESPN.com? Why go there when you can create your own? This is long, but worth every fill in the blank.

--Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn no more?!

--This would be the greatest YouTube clip ever, but sadly no camera caught the action off the Bermuda coast the other day. There was a sea angling competition and one of the anglers hooked an 800 pound blue marlin. That’s nice. It wasn’t nice of the Marlin with its razor sharp bill to jump over the cockpit driving his bill right through the chest of the captain’s 32-year-old son. Also not nice of the 800-pound marlin to then drag the man into the ocean. Miracle of miracles he wrestled himself free of the fish, but had a fist-sized hole in his chest. He was rescued and is in stable condition. The fish got away.

--Stop your B.S.ing Time Warner and get me my NFL Network!

--Your video clip of the week and weekly Jessica Alba mention coincide in this beautiful, slow-motion work of art. I highly recommend the 15-second mark.

--Your Bureau of Motor Vehicles story of the week comes to us from Columbus, Ohio. There Pat Niple was told her vanity plate, which reads N-W-T-F, must be changed because it violates their standards against profanity. She’s only had the plates for 10 years and the letters stand for her and her late husband’s Northwood Tree Farm. But apparently those letters now stand for Now What The F***, which I’ve never heard of, but I’m sure what that poor woman is thinking.

--If you had the under on 4 days until Melly Mel’s “What Are You Looking At Sugar T***? was going to be made into a T-shirt you win.
http://www.bonaroo.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=138

--Master Thespian Rob Schneider isn’t fond of Mel and let everyone know in a letter in Variety. "I, Rob Schneider, a 1/2 Jew, pledge from this day forth to never work with Mel Gibson-actor-director-producer-and anti-Semite."
I don’t think you had to worry about that, Rob, but thanks for letting us know.

--Jennifer Lopez out of Dallas? Thank you.

--This weekend is The World’s Longest Yard Sale and surprise, surprise it runs along U.S. Highway 127 from Kentucky, through Tennessee down to Alabama.

--The U.S. and A. basketball team easily handled Puerto Rico. Shane Battier spent 14 minutes on the floor grabbing 5 boards, snatching two steals, nailing his lone 3-point attempt and doing everything a winner does. I can’t wait for this season!

--The LAPD is reopening the Biggie murder case. I’m sure we’ll be hearing about an arrest in a matter of days.

--21 years ago this weekend Purple Rain was # 1 at the box office. Out-standing.
I'm going to go waaay out on that limb over there and say Talladega Nights will be # 1 this weekend.

--If you haven’t seen the new NFL referee uniforms, here ya go..

Questions, comments of if you had El Chupacabra in the World Series of Pop Culture…