Tuesday, May 30, 2006

No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn

Bad Trip, Man, Bad Trip

Eight games in on a ten-game trip and the boys are 2-6. I think I speak for the entire city when I say, “How in the hell did they win two?” You name it and the Astros have a problem with it. The starters not named Roy have either been inconsistent (Buchholz) or consistently terrible (Pettitte). The bullpen still has guys like Trever Miller and Mike Gallo in it so that’s not good. The lineup is full of holes and .200 hitters. Lance Berkman was an MVP candidate in April, but can’t stay healthy in May. The fielding has been little league-like (no offense to little leaguers). The manager whose baffling decisions last season worked out isn’t getting the same luck out of his moves this time around. The general manager, well the general manager has done the same thing as last season, nothing. I guess they’re all waiting for a miracle. I’m just waiting for a series win. Let’s see how long that takes.

--Brad Lidge hasn’t allowed a run in 7 of his last 8 appearances.

--The ‘Stros own Sunday at 7-1.

--The lone Astro with 2 games of 4 or more RBIs this season? Adam Everett, of course.

--Brad Ausmus is now down to .303, good for 27th in the NL.

--Preston Wilson is the only ML player in the top 35 in strikeouts (tied for 4th) who hasn’t walked at least 10 times.

--Andy Pettitte is 2nd in hits allowed in the Majors while Roy O is 4th.

--It took Albert Pujols a whole 51 games to get to 25 homers. Back in ’98 it took Mark McGwire 49 and in ’01 Bonds reached 25 in just 47 games. Go, Albert, go. That’s 10 more HRs than strikeouts for those of you scoring at home. Pujols also now has 64 RBIs. No one else in the bigs has even 50. Ridiculous. He’s 2-6 off Chad Qualls with 2 HRs. He’s 3-10 off Brandon Backe with 3 HRs.
That sucked.

--Prince Fielder has 4 stolen bases without being caught once. His poppa had 2 in his entire career.

--Philly’s Ryan Howard has 13 HRs this month. No one else has more than 11. He also has 35 RBIs in May, which is 3 more than Pujols.

--Brandon Webb is having a ridiculous year in Arizona. He now has just one walk fewer (9) than wins. Same exact thing for Curt Schilling thus far.

Bas-ket-ball, They’re Playing Bas-ket-ball

I can’t stands the Heat, but a 3-1 lead on the Pistons looks pret-ty, pret-ty safe. Either way this series has been unwatchable. And not just because of that silly white-out thing the Miami crowd has working. The Mavs/Suns has been fun, but Phoenix absolutely has to take care of business Tuesday in Game 4. They will and hopefully get Raja Bell back for Game 5.

--The 88 points the Suns scored in Game 3 were a playoff-low for them.

--The Mavericks are 23-0 when Josh Howard goes for 20+.

--Dallas has trailed Phoenix each game at the half, but has also held a lead in the 4th quarter of each game.

--That Wade guy who spells his first name funny is averaging 30.8 points in this series on ho-hum 70% shooting.

--Pat Riley teams are 11-0 when holding a 3-1 series edge.

--I think we really need to begin questioning whether or not Stephon Marbury wants to remain in New York after he told the NY Post, “I want to be a Knick, I want to die a Knick. If I ever was cremated, I’d want my ashes sprinkled on top of the Garden.”

--Gilbert Arenas upped his status to superstar after a solid season and phenomenal postseason. Unfortunately the police in Miami Beach weren’t all that impressed. Gilbert’s teammate, Awvee Storey, was arrested after repeatedly being told by police to get out of the middle of a busy street. For whatever reason Storey refused and then Arenas got out of a car and walked toward the cops. They told him to get back and of course, he didn’t. According to the police report Arenas said, "You can't arrest me. I'm a basketball player. I play for the Washington Wizards and I'm not going to leave my teammate."
This marked the first time anyone bragged about playing for the Washington Wizards.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--In just two Sundays we get a new season of Entourage that’ll be paired with the gentle, kind ways of Deadwood. And now a valuable life lesson from Al Swearengen:

"In life you have to do a lot of things you don't flippin’ want to do. Many times, that's what the flip life is... one vile flippin’ task after another."
Flip! I can’t wait for June 11th. By the way, this is the final season of Deadwood.

--Lost action figures?! Apparently McFarlane Toys is going to come out with a set of six to kick things off. The Lost six-pack includes Jack, Kate, Hurley, Locke, Charlie, and “Sticks” Shannon. No Sawyer?!

--I like Heinken. I like (watching) the Pussycat Dolls. I will shoot myself if I see that commercial one more time.

--In news related to the above two items...Hasbro has decided to cancel the line of toys based on The Pussycat Dolls. That's a step in the right direction. Now if we can do away with those Bratz stripper dolls we're getting somewhere. If I ever see my goddaughter with one of those it's going straight in the fireplace.

--I think there are five of us in this country who have seen neither The Da Vinci Code or X-Men: The Last Stand.

--Peter Brady and Adrianne Curry were married over the weekend. I’m sure this won’t soon appear on a VH-1 special or series near you.

--Your meter maid vs. cop story comes to us from Chicago. Jackie Fegan wrote officer Robert Reid a ticket for his personal minivan, which was illegally parked. When Reid got the ticket he got Fegan’s attention and told her that he was on official police business and wanted the ticket torn up. Miss Fegan disagreed and walked across the street. At that point Officer Reid arrested her for jaywalking. Out-standing. She was taken to jail and given after not being charged with anything was released after thirty minutes. I’m sure no lawsuit will result from this.

--Fantastic Four 2?! Yes that's just an excuse for this...

--If you haven’t seen the new Superman trailer, here ya go...

--No arms on person’s shoulders in front entrance, no gi, no win for Royce Gracie against Matt Hughes at UFC 60.

--Tell me, The Insider’s Victoria Recano did not go to The Break-Up movie premiere and ask Jennifer Aniston what her worst break-up ever was.
The good ol' days.

--There was actually something funny on Jay Leno not too long ago. I guess funny because Leno wasn't involved. Pumpcast news in 3, 2, 1, now.

--Pepper Dennis cancelled?! Shocking, absolutely shocking.

--The new Batwoman is going to be a lipstick lesbian?! When's the movie?

--The parent of the year comes to us from New York. Luann Waden is planning to sue the Honeoye school district and for once, it's a good reason. At the beginning of the year Ms. Waden made it clear on a consent form that her 15-year-old daughter was not to have Internet access. Well, the 15-year-old got on the Internet and through the magic/misery of MySpace she met an 18-year-old guy who ran off with her after school, well until the cops found them.

Questions, comments, or if you can think of a better example of reverse psychology than when Brer Rabbit tricked Brer Bear into throwing him into the briar patch then e-mail…

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