Not like the crack that you put in a pipe. But crack on your forehead here's a towel now wipe .

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Props to Pearland for getting as far as it got. It just ran into a couple of buzz saws over the weekend. Always love it when a team from around these here parts gets to Williamsport.

--Gotta love the love for Modern Family at the Emmys.

Only thing better than it winning some awards was Breaking Bad picking up two wins for Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul. Cranston’s 3rd straight win and it should be Paul’s 2nd straight win.
I was kinda hoping for a sentimental upset of Lost over Mad Men (mostly just to see everyone together one more time), but obviously can’t complain about Mad Men getting Best Drama. It was nice to see Sal up there on the stage. I didn’t see Glen, but @creepyglen is now following me so I guess I can ask him if he was there.
I was hoping against hope Friday Night Lights would get a nod for Principal Taylor, but the Taylors will just have to settle for beating Dillon.
I guess I need to see this Temple Grandin HBO movie.
Because it can’t be repeated enough, Katey Sagal was robbed of a nomination, much less a very deserving win for Sons of Anarchy.

Jimmy Fallon’s opening number was great with all the Glee’ers, Joel McHale, Tina Fey and the dancing machine known as Jon Hamm. I assume that was the only reason Kate Gosselin was invited to the freakin’ Emmys. Other than that there wasn’t much to talk or laugh about. And for the love of God television please stop trying to incorporate twitter into your broadcasts. Oh and nice job giving all of a minute to introduce the nominees for Best Drama, I mean having to use Ted Danson’s canned intros was just pathetic.

--Don Draper, I don’t even know who you are anymore. You’re embarrassing yourself and you’re giving a bad name to drinking in the work place.
Looooved seeing Victor Kiriakis officiate the CLIOs. Though it shoulda been Stefano or
Tony Dimera yelling at him instead of Duck.

Father/Daughter

--Chronic nerve pain can be helped by smoking marijuana?! Really? Is marijuana like medicinal or something? Whoa, who knew?

--How’d that taste Dallas? Not gonna get too high or too low on a preseason game, but that was fun. And holy crap Cowboys, Swiss cheese takes offense at your offensive line being called Swiss cheese. That was the game right there. If Tony Romo had time maybe their starters actually put up a score or maybe not. It’s not like he was making great throws on the off chance he had protection.
I’m gonna go ahead and say that Jacoby Jones will end up with more TDs this year than Andre Johnson. He is going to torch 3rd and 4th corners. This offense is so damn good until it hits the red zone. As soon as the Texans hit the 20 its like the entire offense gets a kryptonite necklace around its neck. Next up the Bucs in a game that not even a mother could love, much less watch.

--Vanity Fair with a nice interview with the lovely Mary Louise Parker. Among other things she talks about is how she thinks Nancy Botwin should have sex with a woman. So yeah, good interview.

And apparently she cooks...maybe...does it matter?

--Really U.S. Soccer?! Bob Bradley again?! I hate you.

--I’ll RT myself regarding this week’s Sunny block: “So I found out there’s a name for what Houston’s pro sports teams do to us. It’s called The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.”
Awesome, awesome episode.

--Like the Saints? Derek Fisher is speaking to the team before their opener about the challenges of winning back to back. I won’t hold it against you New Orleans…much.

--Uhhh, on second thought Bengals, maybe signing Antonio Bryant to a contract that had $6.95 million in roster bonuses he reached in March only to release him in August wasn’t the best contract you’ve ever cobbled together…unless nearly $7 million for a guy who never took a regular season snap for you is the going rate. The White Sox think that’s a questionable decision and they just spent $4 million for 30 games from Manny Ramirez.

--As is usually the case when I go in with little expectations for a UFC event it delivers, go in with high expectations and it fails. I had high expectations for UFC 118 so there ya go. Randy Couture and James Toney went like everyone expected it to go. BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar didn’t go how most thought and the way Edgar dominated it was just 5 rounds of boring. Gray Maynard is usually pretty boring, but a nice win for him over Kenny Florian. Strong win for Nate Diaz over veteran Marcus Davis whose face has more scar tissue than Ric Flair’s by now. When Joe Lauzon is one, Joe Lauzon is on! He was on! Saturday night.

--It all evens out in the end…two drafts last weekend. I had the first pick and the 11th. Two down, two to go.

--As someone who lives downtown and has long since passed the point I can tolerate punk teenagers in the theater I hate to see the Angelika close. I heard some interviews from passersby on channel 13. One guy said, “I hope they don’t put up an atrocity in its place.” Uhhh, “atrocity” might be a bit strong.

--Jon Hamm back to 30 Rock for a bit sounds good to me. Last season the 7 o’ clock shows kicked the crap out of the more known 8 o’ clock shows. This season, well in case you forgot, NBC put Outsourced in Parks and Recreation’s spot and pushed Parks back. NBC = Genius, but you knew that already.

--Some things you shouldn’t need to tell kids in high school. Like in electrical trades class does the teacher really need to tell you not to put electrical clamps on each nipple and then plug in the power cord? That seemed like a good idea at some point? This happened in New Hampshire and the moron in question, Kyle Dubois is, of course, suing the teacher over this. Look, I’m sorry you claim you have permanent brain damage because of this. But your dumbass is one of many reasons people don’t want to be teachers.

--Deadspin’s latest Dead Wrestler of the Week is Owen Hart. It’s another outstanding piece about one of the most genuinely liked guys who ever entered the ring. I remember hearing the news that Sunday night and I couldn’t believe it. If you didn’t tear up watching that Raw tribute the next day then you had no soul.

--Wired.co.uk has an interesting story about being able to press your ashes into a vinyl record for the ones you left behind to remember you by. You can choose to have whatever music you wish on the record as well as your ashes. Or you can go without music and you just get pops and crackles when you play it which would be pretty damn freaky to listen to. I’m not going the cremation route because there ain’t no way I’m gonna blow a chance at zombie adventures.

--Multi-Tasker of the Week comes to us from Ohio. ‘Twas there that Colondra Hamilton was driving around Elmwood Place. Driving takes some concentration especially if you’re doing it while watching porn. Porn was playing on her laptop which her kind passenger was holding up for her to see. Okay, that’s a little odd, but people look at their phones all the time while driving so she can probably do all that. Wait, she had a sex toy in her lap too?! Uhhh, you may just want to pull over Colondra. She didn’t. Instead a cop pulled her over for illegal window tinting and the cop has a story that can’t be topped.

--I like True Blood especially since I’ve cut it down to maybe 30 minutes a week by fast-forwarding anytime I see Tara, Sam, Jason, the redhead who’s married to Ben Linus in real-
life, and especially that guy who is bringing down a once strong character in Lafayette.

--Who cares about who wins Dancing With the Stars? It’s all about who the first loser is. First losers of the past include Kenny Mayne, Josie Maran, Penn Jillette and Jeffrey Ross.
This season I’m gonna go with Michael Bolton as the first loser slightly ahead of Margaret Cho.

A little too much clothing for a Dancing With The Stars costume.

--Love this choice for a Cinematical “Scenes We Love.” House Party is a classic that is one of those that if I stumble upon I’m not changing until it’s over. You got Kid, Play, Martin Lawrence aka Dragonbreath, Tisha Campbell-Martin, the guys who always smelled something, and the always outstanding Robin Harris.
Courtesy of IMDB, they shot this scene without the music. The toe-touch never gets old.


--If you don’t like your sister and don’t like your job and your job is working at Wendy’s for your sister, the manager, well what do you do? If you’re Gregory Chambers in Galveston you go on a smear campaign and yes, the smear part of the equation involves feces. Apparently Gregory liked smearing crap all over the Wendy’s storefront and just trashing the place. He liked it enough that eventually police staked it one night and now Gregory is doing whatever people who enjoy handling feces do in jail.

Questions, comments or if you roll with Kid ‘n’ Play

Sometimes hard boiled sometimes runny. It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--One of these years I’m gonna have to hit The State Fair of Texas and gorge myself on deep fried goodness. This year’s finalists for the Big Tex Awards are out and they are spectacular. It’s got everything from Deep Fried Smores Pop Tarts to Deep Fried Frito Pies. Deep Fried Frozen Margarita sounds absolutely disgusting. Apparently it involves taking a perfectly good funnel cake and ruining it with some kind of mixture of ‘rita ingredients. Totally down for a Deep Fried Club Salad that is basically a spinach wrap with a club salad in it that is then all fried and topped with fried sourdough croutons. Hell yeah. Fried Beer is basically a beer-filled pretzel pocket that is deep fried and that sounds fantastic.

Oh deep fried oreos, you're so 2005.

--Basically two entire episodes with the Botwins/Newmans in the car isn’t exactly the strongest way to start this season of Weeds. However, Andy has made it as enjoyable as possible.

--I guess I need to go play "Angry Birds" if they’re going to make a movie based on it. Why so angry? I assume because as Charlie eloquently laid out before on Sunny, "bird law in this country is not governed by reason."

--All the 30 for 30s can’t be home runs and Michael Jordan’s baseball adventure directed by Ron Shelton was a bloop single at best. The subject itself just wasn’t all that intriguing and there was nothing new that was brought to light much less anything from MJ himself. His decision to play baseball is as nonsensical now as it was then. Sure teams were frightened of playing Dream and the Rockets in ’94 and ’95, but frightened enough to retire?! Not sure why that angle wasn’t covered in the doc.


--I like James Franco. More so after reading that NY Magazine article and watching Freaks and Geeks, but ain’t no way I’m watching 127 Hours. I can’t imagine a much more boring plot to work with than guy gets stuck under a boulder and cuts his arm off with a pocket knife. Nice story, but how do you stretch that out for a movie?!

--Top Chef is going to miss Amanda. She was one of the few left with a genuine personality, but tuna tar tare?! What the f was she thinking? We’ll ask her that on Southbound Food this week. Saturdays at 11AM, boys and girls. Oh and remember when Amanda talked about her past drug use and all that? Yeah, me too. Lance, um not so much. So when he nonchalantly asked her at the end of the interview, “Do you like to party?” I was WTF and LOL’ing at the same time. She was as confused as can be before saying I guess or something to that effect. That’ll probably be the last Top Cheftestant we have on, but at least we went out on a high.
By the way, when it gets down to the final four they’ll be heading to Singapore for the finale. I’d think that would favor Angelo.

But does she like to party?

--I think Chuck and Sara are taking a break next season because between all the guest stars there’s not a lot of room left. Timothy Dalton is apparently going to be in several episodes. Eric Roberts will also be on.

--Tom Sizemore is gonna guest on Sunny this season? Holy crap, perfect guest. But what’s going to be better than Chase Utley and Mac finally together? That link is to an AOL interview with the gang.

--The boys and girls who produced Party Down are putting together an NBC pilot for a somewhat similar show called Temps. It’s already infinitely better than Outsourced, which of course means Temps will be shown once before being replaced by Minute To Win It.

--The Situation is going to be on Dancing With the Stars?!

--Wait, Shaq is with Hoopz from Flavor of Love?! I vaguely remember stumbling across that a time or two and if memory serves then Hoopz was actually sane and pretty cool.


--Rolling Stone takes a stab at the impossible task of selecting the Top 100 Beatles Songs. “Come Together” had to break the top 10 and did at Number 9 which could have gone to “Revolution No. 9” as far as I’m concerned (or maybe not). I thought “Let It Be” would be in the top five, but it sits at 8. I love “Something” and it’s a beautiful part of Cirque’s Beatles Love, but #6? “In My Life” at #5, eh. “Yesterday” and “Strawberry Fields Forever” at 4 and 3. At #2 we get “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.” And the top Beatles song of all-time according to Rolling Stone is….(I’m guessing “Day in the Life”).…nailed it!

--Interesting read on Twitter users. I never thought I’d like it as much as I do.

--There’s good preseasons and then there’s 41 of 53 for 470 yards, six TDs and zero INTs. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers isn’t getting past pick 10.

--A Netflix app that will play movies?! There is a God.

--Like father, like sons…There was an Open House at Lancaster High in South Carolina earlier this week. During school that day a 14-year-old got into a fight and his two older brothers jumped in to help him. An assistant principal broke up the fight. Apparently the kids told their father that the assistant principal cursed at them and roughed them up. There’s no evidence of that, but that didn’t stop the dad from going to open house and sucker punching the assistant principal. Stay classy Rodney Thompson.

Questions, comments or if you think this is the year you finally draw the #1 pick…

rive by eggings plaguing L.A. Yo they just got my little cousin ese

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I am so looking forwarding to The Walking Dead…


--That was a helluva Mad Men with the Drapers not named Don having a storyline as compelling as what’s happening with the boys and girls at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. I mean I don’t think anyone guessed Sally Draper was going to touch herself this season. Where the f did that come from?! Wow. At least Betty had a calm, cool and collected reaction as usual.
The other wow was Roger’s destruction of the Honda meeting complete with Hiroshima references. I thought John Slattery was great during the entire episode whether he was playing contempt or contrite. I especially liked when Pete Campbell blasted him.
Oh and Ted Chaough, move along, you don’t want none of this.

--Lost’s complete series big ass Smoke Monster-sized DVD set is out and with it the most anticipated DVD extra ever, the epilogue: The Man in Charge. I didn’t expect something mind blowing, but I did expect to spend a nice 12 new minutes in the Lost world and I got just that including one surprise I’m shocked wasn’t ruined before this came out.

Part Deux


--I finally got around to watching Kick-Ass. After the first 30 minutes or so I was worried it wasn’t going to live up to the hype. By the end though it was easy to see that the hype was justified. Great movie that takes you places you don’t think you were going to go to. And holy crap, Hit Girl!

--Rest easy America, Last Call with Carson Daly has been renewed. Somehow that show has made it to 10 years.

--I hate cats, but mostly because of all that noise! Thankfully there’s Kitten Mitton!

--Product of the Week: Dayman heat sensitive mugs that change to Nightman. Awesome.

--While we’re talking Philadelphia. Good luck to the City of Brotherly Love in collecting $300 from bloggers as a fee for a business privilege license. Bloggers also have to pay taxes on any profits they’ve made from their site. Those fees to be paid no matter if you’re actually making money or even selling anything. But the city is being totally cool and understanding if you don’t want to pay the $300 for a lifetime business plan. It has put together a nice $50 a year business license just for you. Unbelievable.

--Does Kurt Warner last more weeks on Dancing With the Stars than Matt Leinart starts weeks for the Cardinals this season?

--Interesting look at Boondocks from PopMatters.com.

--Love this quote from Antonio Cromartie explaining his difficulty in naming all his children on Hard Knocks last week. "Nah, I didn't have trouble. I mean, I had nailed it the one time before, but they had to redo it and they just told me to pause between each one of [the names]." Love how he refers to the task of correctly naming his children as “nailed it.”

--Of course there’s already a sequel in the works for Piranha 3D.

Haven't seen Piranha 3D, but I'm guessing these two won't be in the sequel.

--I wasn’t even aware it was still around, but apparently Icehouse is and apparently Jenn Brown had signed on to be the new spokeswoman. Congratulations, I guess, were in order until ESPN changed its mind about allowing her to do this. Haters.

--Lego Inception. Sweet.

--Rubicon continues to keep my interest, but I’m one of the few. Despite the strongest ratings premiere in AMC history it’s been all downhill since then ratings-wise. Hopefully we find out what “The Houston Problem” is before the first season is over. Something titled “The Houston Problem” has so many possibilities.

--Chris Rainey’s older brother is He Hate Me himself, Rod Smart?!

--I’ve been looking forward to watching the tour documentary White Stripes Under the Great White Northern Lights for a while and finally stumbled across it last weekend on Showtime On Demand. Awesome stuff. Jack White just kills it in concert. I’ve never seen the White Stripes live, but did see Jack with the Raconteurs a few years ago and the sounds he creates with guitars are just incredible. I highly recommend checking out the flick. Meg is really expressive and talkative and you get to really know her….or maybe Meg is just Meg.

--Of course The Situation has an abs-focused fitness DVD and line of chewable supplements coming out. Six-figure advance on autobiography? Yep.

--License plate of the year goes to Kenny Anderson’s ex-wife for her plates that read “HISCASH.” Well played Tami, well played.

--If you’re so inclined here’s the complete fall schedule for The Cooking Channel which you may have picked up recently. They managed to find Kelsey from Next Food Network Star a show. I’m down with The Minimalist from Mark Bittman. Love his app. And of course love the old Iron Chefs The Cooking Channel broadcasts.

--Guy Fieri in an Aflac commercial. Shoot me now.

--Spin with a list of the 25 Fall Albums That Matter Most.

--Barack Obama now has a school named after him. Yet I still haven’t heard of any school opting to go by “Old.” What parent wouldn’t want to send their child to Old School? I mean, Old School would crush on fundraising selling t-shirts alone. It’d even make band cool. “Oh I’m in Old School Band.” Though not sure what Old School Choir would sound like, maybe a helluva lot of doo-wop and barbershop.

--RIP Johnny Bailey.

Questions, comments or if the best idea you had all week was googling for FX coupon codes before ordering a boatload of Sunny stuff…

Which came first the chicken or the egg. I egged the chicken then I ate his leg.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Chank and Co. are the cool little brothers of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. This is my personal favorite from their commercial collection. Shots of sanitizer. We’ve all been there, am I right fellas?


--Kenny Chesney and Jenn Brown?! Good for Kenny. Wait, Kenny already has a serious girlfriend of two years? Well then great for Kenny.


--Weeds is back and it’s debatable whether that’s a good thing since it already smoked its best stuff 4 or 5 seasons ago and has just been getting by on seeds and stems since. I just can’t get into the whole Shane is Dexter without the introspection thing. Just don’t care for him as an actor or it could just be the way the character is written. And if I can’t get into that then I probably won’t get into this season again and merely watch because, well, hello Mary Louise Parker. I can do without Alanis Morissette’s character, but her verbal smackdown of Nancy was pretty strong and dead on.

--I’ve played fantasy football for quite a few years now and I can’t recall a draft as wide open as this one. So many directions you can go and really it’s all about where you’re starting. I don’t see how you can screw up your draft if you start with CJ, AP, MJD or Rice. Andre Johnson and Frank Gore are just behind that first tier. In non-PPR leagues I think Michael Turner is pretty much a sure thing as well. Beyond that there are potential land mines everywhere. Michael Turner? Steven Jackson? Deangelo? Moss? I’m definitely not going to be the guy who drafts Larry Fitzgerald or Reggie Wayne. I expect Leinart to crash and burn. I expect Wayne to put up aight numbers, but Peyton just has too many options right now so Wayne’s second half of last season I expect to become the norm. Do you go stud QB route and go ahead and lock down that position early with Rodgers or Brees? How long can you try to wait on Kevin Kolb especially around here where everybody expects great things? I’m entering these drafts with as much dread as I’ve ever had. The only thing that can help? Yep, sweet, glorious alcohol.

--Finally the mainstream media is reporting on the stories we, as a nation, need to be told. The Wall Street Journal on the Sun Chip noisy bag crisis. I mean, really? We’re complaining about a new bag that is environmentally friendly and won’t take a hundred years to degrade? So what if it makes a little noise? Seriously we’re going to use sound meters to measure how loud the new Sun Chips bag is compared to other bags of chips? For the record Sun Chips rule, Garden Salsa or French Onion please.

--If you haven’t seen the behemoth NY Pizza Burger from Burger King, here ya go. This bad boy is only available at the Whopper Bar in NYC. It checks in with 4 quarter-pound patties topped with mozzarella, marinara and whatever a Tuscan Herb Mayo is on a 9.5 inch bun. All that is just under 2,500 calories so it’s pretty healthy. 2,500 calories would, frankly, be overkill.


--Chelsea Handler to host the VMAs? Interesting, not that I was going to watch anyway.

--Good to see FX showing Wild Hogs this weekend. Good primer for Sons of Anarchy.

--Black Swan has Darren Arofonosky and Natalie Portman, so uh, yeah, I'm all in.


--Because we can’t escape our past…Blondie is releasing an album next year.

--Honestly no one could have rightly expected Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood to last even this long.

--Did not expect Kanye to be all the way down at 10 in Forbes’ list of Top 20 Earners in Hip Hop.
Also did not expect Bow Wow to have enough money to where he can bet $100,000 on a game of Madden with the Game. WTF?!

--Dammit Top Chef why are you moving your show to now be opposite Tosh.0 and Hard Knocks? I mean I’m kind of interested in what Angelo and Tiffany are cooking, but I’m also very curious what’s on the menu at Café Ryan’s too.
Oh and WTF was that Angelo?! You got lucky that Alex was still going all Alex in the kitchen. I’m glad we’re waiting until next week to start interviewing Top Chef losers because I have no idea what to ask Alex beyond the pea puree incident. Angelo, Tiffany and Kelly are the front-runners in what is becoming a closer race by the week.
Also I watch Rubicon so I’m pretty sure I know how the government really runs so don’t give me this I have “business calls” excuse CIA Director Leon Panetta. Will Travers had all that under control. Who gets up from lunch with Padma? A big, fat jerk that’s who. Admittedly I didn’t get the “disguise” part of the challenge because I assumed on a cooking show CIA stood for Culinary Institute of America. I know the show is in Washington, but I’m slow like that.

--Hard Knocks had its first pop quiz last night and man it was a tough one for Antonio Cromartie who was asked for the names of all 8 of his kids. Joe "Drop Your Nuts and Run" McKnight also had a bad episode.

--Peggy/Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen are no more.

--There are Oreo Blizzard Crème cookies? Like Oreos. Like Blizzards. Yet never ordered an Oreo Blizzard. I don’t think I’ve ever strayed from Snickers or Heath.

--January Jones to X-Men as The White Queen?! Not a stretch from her role as The Ice Queen on Mad Men. Didn’t miss her a bit in last week’s episode.


--Sadly the latest Dead Wrestler of the Week is very recent in the form of Lance Cade. Excellent read as always, but more so because of the issues that have and always will plague wrestlers and the WWE until they are seriously addressed.

--I get a little too excited about Hatch Chile Festival time at Central Market. Hatch Pepper, Corn and Cheese Rolls are freakin’ addictive.

--If you’re keeping WAG score at home, Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch are back on.


--Samkon Gado is with the Titans now?! I assumed he was in a hospital working by now. Good luck to one of the nicest guys in the league, I hope you find a team not in Tennessee.

--An all-vegetarian Iron Chef America this Sunday? I’m in. And when the hell am I going to see that one dude from here who has that seafood restaurant compete?

--I hate going to movie theaters as much as anyone else who manages to survive past their teenage years. But I’ve never hated going because I got bed bites sitting in the seats. An AMC in Times Square is having that problem and it’s not because they’re taking Piranha 3D to the next level.
Note to Piranha: If you’re going to consume Kelly Brook please start by gently nibbling off the strings in her bikini and then start from the bottom and work your way up. I think the piranhas would agree that Kelly Brook’s chest would be the ultimate challenge on the piranha competitive eating circuit.


--Tell me this “KFC Skinwich” is just a joke. No way they’d really sell a sandwich that is nothing more than 5 layers of fried chicken skin, right? Right? Who am I kidding? They probably added a piece of skin since I started typing this.

--The Auto-Tune the News crew is getting a shot at a pilot on Comedy Central? Nice. Can’t be any worse than Big Lake.

--It doesn’t get much better than working in sports radio. Having said that it doesn’t get much worse than having to sit through a 14-inning game in mid-August between two also-rans. What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger KJ and Will.

Questions, comments or if you’re gonna pull an old school Madden all-nighter this weekend…

Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg. He was playing on the wall and then he broke his leg

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I’m not going to go crazy about the first preseason game (that was for Saturday night after a few beers). Having said that the red zone offense was its usual terrible self, no thanks to the play calling. And I really wanted to see Neil Rackers get an opportunity to knock down that 50+ yard field goal.
The defense is going to really, really, really miss Brian Cushing. All the big boys on the first team defense picked up where they left off, which was nice.
Yeah, I think I’m over the whole Trindon Holliday thing.
Obviously the worst thing to come out of the game was Ben Tate’s injury. However, Arian Foster continued to show he can be a solid back. He’s not a home run threat, he’s not a big, bruiser, he’s just productive. He’s decisive and always gets positive yardage. The Texans don’t need an All Pro or even a Pro Bowl back, just a dependable one and Arian is just that.
Oh and how bad do the Cardinals look?

--I love me some Little League. What else is there to watch mid-mornings and mid-evenings right now? The games are always unpredictable. I should say usually instead of always since Pearland is predictably going to run the table. That team is damn strong. Beau Orlando is about to be the talk of Williamsport.

--I’m going to miss Sunny Mondays once Monday Night Football starts. "The Nightman Cometh" last Monday instantly jumped to the top of the list of my personal favorite episodes. I mean Mac’s cat eyes alone would place it pretty high. I’m glad he was “going for gasps” and not laughs. And they handled the rape scene in as classy a way as possible.
Frank: (singing) You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll...
Charlie: Stop, stop, stop. All right, not bad. Good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. I feel like you're saying "boy's hole," and it's clearly "soul."
This so should have been an hour long episode because you can't cut songs titled "It's Nature, Shit Happens."

Sort of like a hybrid of Al Jolson and Bell Biv Devoe...

--Apparently HBO is as indecisive as I am and said screw it because it’s going to bring back Life and Times of Tim after all. Nice.

--Clearly the biggest reason to watch the new Hawaii Five-O is Grace Park. Masi Oka/Hiro on Heroes is also joining the cast that includes Daniel Dae Kim from Lost as well. Wake me when Grace is in a bikini.

Well played.

--Just when you think Don Draper can’t be more of a dick to Allison, boom, yeah, Allison you write whatever recommendation you want and I’ll just sign it. Very strong episode with John Slattery/Roger making his directorial debut. Always love seeing Pete playing the sonuvabitch and seeing Pete usually means we’ll be seeing Trudy so that’s nice. The absolute best moment of this season has to be when Peggy was on her desk peeping through the glass into Don’s office after Allison threw a glass fastball in his office. It’s interesting watching Peggy as she really has no idea what she truly wants out of life, but isn’t afraid to sample what all it has to offer.
The only thing I want to know after watching this episode though is did the old wife buy the pears or not? Alan Sepinwall pointed this out and now I have to go back and watch on my DVR, but Don’s new, old secretary Miss Blankenship was Daniel Larusso’s mom on Karate Kid?!

--Bo and Sara just need to go away now please. Thank you.

--I’m interested to see where Top Chef goes from here with Kenny out of the picture. I knew he wasn’t going to win since he accepted a job with the PGA about a month ago, but I fully expected him to hang around longer than, oh I don’t know, freakin’ Alex!

--Because Glee is trying its best to be as annoyingly everywhere you look as Twilight is there’s now a Glee comic book.
And much to my fiancée’s delight the awesome Vietnamese restaurant, Huynh, was playing one of the Glee soundtracks on its sound system the other night.


--I’m still reeling from the finales of Minute to Win It and Next Great Artist so the news that Cathy is ending its run makes me wonder if life is worth living.

--Pillars of Earth is five episodes into its eight episode run and I’m telling you if you’re not watching you’re missing some quality television on Starz. It’s On Demand and Netflix Watch Instantly and you should.


--The only show I would have watched from any of those Food Network Star finalists would have been Aarti’s so I’m happy we’ll be getting Aarti Parti. It’s a nice niche she fills that Food Network has never had. Of course I say I’ll watch, but unless you’re Guy Fieri once you win the show you pretty much fade into oblivion.

--Ignoring all the subplots I’m really liking this Russell vs. The Authority vs. Eric vs. Bill vs. finding out what the hell Sookie is. True Blood really hasn’t had enough newscasters’ organs ripped out live on the air by a vampire who is still savvy enough to remember to toss it to Tiffany for the weather.

--Rubicon got away from the major conspiracy arc and shed some welcome light on where exactly Will Travers works, who for and why. Good stuff, especially from Donald Bloom and his speech about the guy’s tie and his breakdown of briefcases was essential for those kids watching who want to grow up to be analysts someday.
A Pacific connection this week with James Badge Dale/Travers/Leckie looking across the way into a building at a lovely girl who was none other than Annie Parisse who played Lena Basilone.


--Maybe it’s because I wasn’t looking all that hard, but didn’t see Saturday the 14th replaying on any channel last weekend. Even at a very young age I knew that I was unlikely to ever watch a worse movie in my lifetime. Could not possibly have foreseen that the vampire played by Jeffrey Tambor would be in two of my favorite comedies of all-time in The Larry Sanders Show and Arrested Development.


--That Facebook movie looks like a colossal waste of time much like Facebook itself. Not like Twitter which is vital to mankind’s existence.

--Len Pasquarelli is going from ESPN to CBS. In other news Len Pasquarelli was apparently still at ESPN.

--Only three interceptions and a lost fumble Curtis Painter? Don’t rush back from injury Jeff Saturday just to play Week 1 against the Texans. Take your time.

--Not sure what Tila Tequila was expecting at an Insane Clown Posse performance. And what is this about her being on stage to perform? What exactly does she perform? I see now where she was topless for some of that “performance” so I guess that explains it.

--MTV2 has picked up 20 Lingerie Football League games so, uh, yeah there’s still an MTV2 apparently.

Questions, comments or if after 2 weeks of sitting on your TV stand you’re finally going to watch Kick-Ass on Wednesday…

Always got my windows rolled down. You know, I'm the Egg Man.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I'll hate preseason football by the time the 4th quarter rolls around on Saturday night, but right I CAN'T F'N WAIT!!!!

--As we all knew Rex Ryan was made for Hard Knocks. And honestly who wouldn't want to play for this guy after this speech?


And please don't apologize for your language, that's why you're on HBO.
I highly recommend this ESPN piece on Kevin Basped who was an early cut because of his knees. What a story. I hope this guy can get and stay healthy at some point.

--Yahoo! came out with a list of top TV earners and it’s as ridiculous as you might expect. Charlie Sheen getting $1.25 million per episode for that crap Two and a Half Men is just mind boggling and 12x as much as Jon Hamm gets per episode of Mad Men. Hell, the kid on Two and a Half Men makes only $50,000 less than Steve Carell. I’m thinking Jane Lynch ($50,000 per ep) and Matthew Morrison ($30,000 per ep) are due for some big raises. Two of my personal favorites Timothy Olyphant of Justified and Nathan Fillion of Castle pull $100,000 an episode which seems like a lot until you see what the actors on the shows with initials in the titles make.

Two biggest surprises…Jeffrey Donovan at $200,000 per Burn Notice. I like the show, but am shocked USA pays that. I’m even more shocked that E! pays Joel McHale $2 million a season for The Soup although it also pays Chelsea Handler $3.5 million.

--Kim K. and Miles Austin are no more and so we've lost yet another reason to believe in love. As much as she goes through athletes wouldn’t you rather watch Kim K. on a bus touring all the training camps instead of Mort? I think the players would agree with me.
UPDATE: There are still together.
UPDATE: They're not.
UPDATE: They are.
UPDATE: Isn't Kourtney's man, Scott, the biggest douche this side of Spencer Pratt?


--Look, I hate cats, but I draw the line at marinating them. Gary L. Korkuc does not have that line. Buffalo police pulled him over the other day and heard a cat crying from the trunk. So they opened it and found the 12-pound cat marinating in a tasty mix of red pepper flakes, chili pepper, salt and oil. No word on how close kitty was to being ready for the grill or smoker or whatever the sure fire way is to cook cats.

--In news that woulda been cool 20 years ago…Van Halen is recording an album with David Lee Roth.
Along the same lines, Teri Hatcher decided to post photos of her after a bath because, well I don't know what she was trying to prove except that Desperate Housewives has some incredibly hard-working make-up people.
Even more didn’t-you-used-to-be-relevant, Pat O’Brien is getting a show on Fox Sports Radio. What the?!

--Weezer’s album cover using just Hurley’s mug is pretty damn sweet.


--We don't know about when NBC will show it, but DirecTV begins Friday Night Lights its final season on October 27th. Gotta get my “Free Riggins” shirt by then.

--Shedding Trevor Ariza’s not terrible, but not good contract and getting Courtney Lee? Yeah, I’m down with that.

--Jennifer Lopez is out as an American Idol judge and still no one cares.

--Silly me assumed Snooki would be able to get her trademark, but I forgot about the children's book, "The Adventures of Snooky." So the USPTO denied her application because of a "likelihood of confusion." Though that's only for printed matter so she'll still get her Snooki trademarked...and I think Vinnie trademarks Snooki sometime this season. You're still boring as hell Vinnie.

--The latest rumored replacements for Michael Scott are Rhys Darby (Murray!) and Danny McBride (Motherf’n Kenny!). They should just have Murray play Murray and everyone will be happy. And if not everyone then at least me and that works too.

--Deadwood’s Complete Series on Blu-Ray has a release date. November 23rd that c***sucker comes out. Among the bonus features is an audition for Swearengen from that c**t Titus Welliver (Man in Black) who obviously didn’t get the part, but did get on the show. If you’ve never watched Deadwood then you need to correct that ASAP.


--I love me some Sporcle app. I thought I’d do a lot better at getting NFL teams’ last 200-yard receiver, but I only got half. The most recent one I blanked on was freakin’ Jabar Gaffney last year with the Broncos. The oldest one I had no chance of getting was the Bears with Johnny Morris back in ’62. Pissed I couldn’t remember Drew Bennett for Tennessee. Also missed an easy one because I assumed typing “Johnson” had me covered for Dre and Chad, stupid Ochocinco. Could probably win some money by asking someone to name Indy’s last 200-yard receiver. Not Harrison, not Wayne, but Reggie Langhorne in 1993.

--Scammer of the Week comes to us from Baltimore. Andrew Palmer is the scammer who got waaaay too greedy. The fun for him started in late April at Burke’s Café where he had some wings and a lot of Blue Moon beers. How did he get out of paying the tab? By faking a seizure severe enough that he had to be taken to the hospital. He had a nice run in early May at Shuckers on one visit throwing back three glasses of Tanqueray, couple of Coronas, a Johnnie Walker Black, Heineken and a pound of shrimp before going the seizure route and hitting the hospital again. He did this over and over and each time had no ID on him and was unresponsive to personnel and just bided his time at the hospital until he was released. Eventually a Baltimore cop (McNulty? Carver?) recognized him from earlier “seizures” and now Palmer can work on his scam the next 18 months he’s behind bars.

--Apparently Britney Spears is going to be in the Britney-Brittany themed episode of Glee. Not sure how they’re going to get Britney to do a cameo what with her busy work schedule.
Wait, Puck/Mark Salling is releasing a solo album?!

--This week’s Father of the Year candidate comes to us from Florida (shocking I know). Donald Rombough knew UFC 117 was going to be awesome so he decided to check it out at Stevie Tomato’s Sports Bar. Only problem was he had his 6-year-old with him. Thankfully the kid was asleep so his dad could go watch the action. Unfortunately for Donald his son is a crybaby and that attracted some people to his truck and those people called the cops presumably to get that kid to keep it down while UFC was on. EMS actually came out and saw the boy was fine. Then Father of the Year came out and told some nosy people that he had to go back in because he had ordered food. Finally the cops came and Donald got in some trouble since the boy ratted him out and said his dad was gone for 90 minutes and not just that but he did the same thing to him earlier in the day at Hooter’s. That’s where Donald’s biggest mistake was, I mean you can’t take your son into a Hooter’s. Why even have a son? Anyway cops also found some marijuana in the car. Dad left the window down and pot and a pipe in the truck and his 6-year-old still had a bad Saturday night. I think we know who’s to blame here.

--Of course Guy Fieri gets a profile in the NY Times.


--Really Eagles you’re gonna ask a fan at practice to take off his McNabb Redskins jersey? Weak. Don’t Philly fans police themselves anyway in a situation like this?

--There's a Pop Tarts World in New York now and that's awesome. Pop-Tart Sushi?! Yes, please. That's a knock-off brand of Fruit Roll-Up that crushed Pop Tarts are wrapped in. Goodness.


--Apparently Del Taco is joining In-N-Out in opening in Texas, but starting in Dallas/Fort Worth. I can’t imagine a time at 2 in the morning when Del Taco, Cabana or Bell will sound better to me than Taqueria Del Sol.

--The man, the myth, the Billy Mitchell has reclaimed his throne atop the Donkey Kong world record list. He also took down Donkey Kong Jr. in the same night. If you have not seen The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters then I don’t think we can be friends.

--Caught five minutes of the Brazil-U.S. friendly and that was about four minutes and 59 seconds more than I needed to see to know the U.S. was getting run off the field. 2-0 does not indicate how much better Brazil was. At least Bob Bradley will be gone soon enough, right?
In more pleasant soccer news FIFA 2011 will have Landon Donovan and Carlos Vela on the cover. That comes out next month.
Wayne Rooney’s brother, John, is on trial with the Seattle Sounders. Because it’s soccer “on trial” is a good thing. If the 19-year-old shows well he’d likely get put into the MLS SuperDraft which is just like a regular draft except, you know, super!

--How many former Real World stars does it take to fix Congress? Hopefully two. Sean Duffy was in the Boston edition. Duffy wants you to roll (he’s a log roller or something) with him to Congress out of Wisconsin. Kevin Powell was from the first season also known as the only season I watched. He's running for Congress out of Brooklyn.

--If you like Johnny Carson, and how could you not, then you'll love this news about all The Tonight Shows being digitized and eventually searchable by the public. Johnny was the absolute best.

Questions, comments or if you think this is the year you actually go stud QB instead of waiting until the middle rounds…

Yeh, that's right, I'm the Egg Man. Driving Around, King of the town.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--I think I speak for every Astros fan when I say, “PLEASE BUY US MARK CUBAN!!”

--Another season of Friday Night Lights is in the books and holy crap did it deliver. You knew Landry was going to have his opportunity for One Shining Moment, but little did I expect it would come on a 72-yard field goal attempt. I was only disappointed Coach is starting to call him Landry instead of Lance. Those were the happy moments.

Saracen came back and made a run at Julie. Those were the sad moments.
Tim Riggins took the fall for his brother and his new family. Those were the crushing moments in what was the most emotionally draining season of the series. It was not a happy, happy, joy, joy season by any stretch of the imagination.

A fantastic season that somehow kept the momentum of the show alive despite all the departures and arrivals. Those arrivals were great from Luke to Becky to Jess and to Vince who I stopped calling Wallace (The Wire) by the season finale. Next season is it for Friday Night Lights and that’s going to be a bittersweet end to one helluva series.
My girlfriend is finally catching up on FNL and so I re-watched “The Good Son” this week and man, Zach Gilford owns that episode better than any character on that show has ever owned an episode before and that includes the episode where Lyla rides a mechanical bull. Saracen, err Gilford will be popping up next in some ABC medical drama called Off The Map about, oh who cares, I don’t think Landry/Jesse Plemons is even in it.

--Aria’s performance on Next Food Network Star would’ve embarrassed a Hell’s Kitchen chef. Awful. It’s down to Herb, Aarti (Party) and Tom. Anyone except Herb please.

--Dear Mad Men,

More Lane Pryce drunk please.

Thank you.

--UFC 117 delivered the goods for another highly entertaining card. What else can be said about the main event? Chael Sonnen was incredible, until he wasn’t. Anderson Silva has had trouble with wrestlers before like Dan Henderson, but that was only for short amounts of time. This fight Anderson was on his back pretty much the entire time. Chael was shocking the world for 4 and a half rounds until Anderson shocked everyone right back. Fantastic stuff.
Matt Hughes knocks down Ricardo Almeida and submits him?! Crazy unpredictable unlike Jon Fitch winning by decision. Oh and Roy Nelson is one tough sob. He took a 3-round beating, but somehow did last the distance against Junior Dos Santos.
As great as 117 was clearly the MMA highlight of the weekend was Roger Huerta laying the smacketh down on former Longhorn Rashad Bobino after Bobino hit a girl at an Austin bar.

--I went out to Texans practice on Thursday, but unfortunately I did not hear that magical first sound of helmets and pads colliding indicating weekends are about to matter again. I did hear that sound on Saturday though and it rang loud and clear when Kareem Jackson laid out Eric Winston. It was just a little swing pass to the RB on the right side and Kareem deked Winston to get him just off-balance enough to then put him on his butt. That was the best smack I heard on Saturday. The second best was hearing Bernard Pollard attack the sled. I don’t think anyone likes a full pads practice more than Bernard Pollard. The most obvious observation that you didn’t have to be at practice to know, the Texans are absolutely f’d if Matt Schaub gets hurt. I mean f’d, f’d. Schaub has looked great. Dan Orlovsky and John David Booty, well let’s just say the defensive backs have A LOT more hop in their step when those guys are under center. Hell the entire defensive mood picks up. All the RBs have had moments at various times, but after reading Arian Foster’s poetry I’m giving him the best training camp so far for the backs.
“Overtrained athlete syndrome,” huh? Yeah, good luck with that.

Clearly the biggest news to come out of Texans camp last week was that miracle of miracles all their preseason games will be in HD this year.

--Emmitt Smith killed it during his Hall of Fame induction speech. Calling out Troy and Michael was nice, but when he thanked Moose that was pretty damn moving. Floyd Little gave one memorable, moving speech as well. And was there ever a doubt that the longest speech of the night was going to be that given by Chris Berman?

--If any Emmy jilted show was going to take a shot at the Emmys you figured it would be Sons of Anarchy. Charlie Hunnam/Jax on no nominations, “I personally was really happy. I don’t subscribe to Emmys or awards or any of that sh**. I think it’s all a crock of sh**.”
Other bits of FX news that came out of the Television Critics Association panel…Sunny is going to use Dee’s real pregnancy in the show although I don’t think they’re going to make Mac the father like he is in real life. “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” sounds fantastic especially since the McPoyles are involved.

Archer will get himself a little bundle of joy next season too.
Great little nugget via TV Squad about how Ocho Cinco got involved with The League:
"Last season in one of the episodes, I (Paul Sheer) said, "Child, please," which was Chad's catch phrase that he kind of started off in 'Hard Knocks,' that HBO series. And when that aired on the episode, that night I got a tweet from Chad Ochocinco saying, 'Dude, put me in your show.'" He’ll be in the premiere which will take place in Vegas. I can’t imagine it gets any better than a fantasy football draft in Vegas.

--The Man in Black’s name is Samuel? Well hell, now the entire game just changed.
Anyway, if you want to watch the whole Lost epilogue where Hurley and Ben are running things, well, too bad. Here is a clip of that though.


--Max Headroom: The Complete Series came out last week. I can’t imagine who could watch an entire episode, but it’s there if you want it now.

--There’s just something about Katy Perry on magazine covers that’s very appealing. I can’t quite put my finger on them though.


--Obviously waaaay past when this should have happened, but Entourage is ending after next season.

--There was a nice rumor going around that Ricky Gervais would replace Steve Carell on The Office, but Ricky shot it down before you could even sing the chorus to “Freelove Freeway.”


--True Blood got off to a slow, disjointed start, but the last three weeks it has really picked it up (haven't watched this week's yet). Even Tara has been slightly less annoying with Jason picking up that annoying slack with his new love interest. Don’t really care about that and don’t really care about Sam’s family of dogfighters. I tell you what is making this season though…Denis O’Hare as Russell Edgington. He has killed it (and drank the blood) every week this season.

--So who would you have play Miguel Tejada in the Moneyball movie? Wrong. The obvious choice is Royce Clayton although maybe this is just me, but why can’t Tejada play Tejada?

--I hope we have Graham Elliott on Southbound Food soon because I don’t think I can stomach much more of Master Chef. It’s just awful.

--The Titans worked out Tatum Bell and I only mention this because remember when Tatum took Rudi Johnson’s luggage?! WTF was that? Well besides the most hilarious thing to happen in the NFL in years.

--I’m pretty surprised Rubicon’s premiere drew 2.5 million viewers to become AMC’s highest rated debut for a series. I guess people are finally starting to figure out AMC is the network that only hits homers.

--I’m also really liking Pillars of Earth on Starz. A helluva lot of scheming to try and keep up with, but Ian McShane, I’m pretty sure, is not a good guy.

--Andie MacDowell joining Adrienne Palicki on Lone Star? Nice to see Andie is still around.

--Too much ambiguity in last week’s Louie. I mean did Louie like his “lesbian” mother or not? Grandma shaking hands with her grandkids was classic.

--Interesting diagram that lays out what the average American eats. And if you actually want to be able to read it, here it is.

--Carol Burnett (apparently not dead) as Sue Sylvester’s mother sounds about right. Jane Lynch is getting an SNL hosting gig as well.

--New to Netflix Watch Instantly is one of my favorite documentaries ever. Dogtown and Z-Boys. I highly, highly recommend checking it out. It’s basically how skateboarding came to be as we know it with obviously some outstanding footage that plays like a music video. And that music is really strong with everyone from Aerosmith to Thin Lizzy to Jimi Hendrix to Zeppelin and all points in between including Perry Como with "Lollipops and Roses" so now Dogtown has something in common with Mad Men.


--Of course Vanilla Ice is going to have a home improvement show on DIY.

--Crazy/Dumbass Criminal of the Week comes to us from College Station. ‘Twas there that Christie Hawkins on Monday stole a 2010 F-150 under the guise of a test drive. Unfortunately it wasn’t good enough for Christie so she smartly brought it back to the dealership the next day because she wanted to upgrade to a trailer hitch and antenna. Yeah, the dealership hesitated so she had to threaten to shoot them. For some reason someone called the police and she told them it was her car but couldn’t tell them who bought it for her, but that she did have insurance on it so there ya go. Oddly enough they didn’t buy her story.

Questions, comments or if you’re picking this week for a cleanse before the debauchery of football and fantasy drafts…

Foot on the pedal never ever false metal. Engine running hotter than a boiling kettle.

Quick Hitters and Random Thoughts

--Just STFU Drayton. Thanks Roy. Thanks Puma.

--Did not know until I read Alan Sepinwall’s review that the creepy kid, Glenn on Mad Men, is actually Matthew Weiner’s son. That kid is weird though what a nice dad to write a part for his son that he basically gets to hit on January Jones.
Don, Don, Don, Don. Pull it together man. Two episodes in and the only person you’ve been able to pull is your secretary?! And nice job on the morning after, dick.
Nice to see the lovely Alison Brie and Peyton List at the party.

Greatest GIF ever? Uh, yes. Thank you Film Drunk.

--AMC doesn’t make crap so I was in for Rubicon regardless of how the first couple of episodes were. After seeing them I’m all in now. It meanders along, but the setting and mood it creates doesn’t bore. I particularly like the music and, of course, James Badge Dale (Leckie from Pacific and dead ringer for Mr. Schuester). Also good to see Pvt. Cowboy from Full Metal Jacket.


--What a surprise, Little League has expanded instant replay. In the meantime Bud Selig has asked Drayton McLane to come up with a new phrase for “instant replay” since Drayton did such a good job turning “rebuilding” into “adjusting.”

--Even the most die-hard Juan Diaz fans like myself knew it was a long shot for Juan to get a victory over hall of famer Juan Manuel Marquez, but it was another valiant effort for the Baby Bull. JMM is just too good for him. No shame in that. No shame in walking away from the ring either if Diaz decides to go that route. It’s been a fun ride watching him progress to a point where he’s headlining a pay-per-view (even if this shouldn’t have been PPV). He and Rocky Juarez gave Houston boxing fans a lot to cheer about over the years and I thank them for that. But honestly there’s just nothing left for them to prove in the ring.

--A fate worse than death? I’m thinking a Jon Jones elbow.

--There are surprises and then there’s Ben Sheets injured and out for the rest of the season.

--I thought The Birth of Big Air spotlighting Mat Hoffman was another strong 30 for 30 and probably cracks my top five thus far. I could watch old bike or skate video like what they showed and what comprises the documentary Dogtown and Z-boys all day. Great stuff. And damn, those crashes Mat suffered. Ridiculous. I guess it’s easy to see why he had such a kinship with Evel Knievel. Couple of crazy m’f’ers.
ESPN is finally doing the right thing by this series and giving it a stable Tuesday night slot starting August 24th. I’m particularly looking forward to the one focusing on Vlade Divac/Drazen Petrovic, the SMU one, and the Tyson/Tupac murder.
Full ESPN 30 for 30 Fall Schedule.

--I can’t keep up with who is and who isn’t judging American Idol anymore so let’s just agree to end it, okay?

--K-Swiss knows what’s up…

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

--Maybe it was just the mood I was in or something, but Anvil: Story of Anvil wasn’t as good as I was expecting. All the cameos from various bands was cool, but I don’t know, just wasn't feeling it.

--Lizzy Caplan is working with the Funny or Die crew on something for HBO?! Hell yeah! I don’t want to tell Funny or Die how to do its job, but I’d show Lizzy taking V and then stripping off her clothes for the pilot episode…and maybe the 2nd and 3rd episodes as well.
Her first appearance on Freaks and Geeks was this week on IFC. Lizzy’s look has drastically improved since those days. By the way that last scene when James Franco goes to his rehearsed speech about being a dummy was the most hilarious scene in the series yet.

--I never dreamed I’d ever say screw the Dillon Panthers, but screw the Dillon Panthers. Let’s go East Dillon! Friday night is gonna be on!

I might have a heart attack if it comes down to a Landry field goal attempt.

--Whoa, Redbox is going to start including Blu-Rays. I’ve never used a RedBox, but I might have to start.

--I don’t know what it is about Wendy’s that makes it a constant flash point for crazy people. This week’s crazy Wendy’s story comes to us from Atlanta. ‘Twas there a guy walked in late Saturday night with a ski mask and gun and demanded the register’s cash drawer. He got away, but wasn’t happy with his haul. How unhappy was he? Unhappy enough to call Wendy’s and complain saying, “Next time there better be more than $586.” Nice. Still not satisfied the guy actually called back and complained again. The robber would have probably been okay with that money had he just left with a Frosty and large fries also. I mean how do you go to Wendy’s and not get a Frosty and fries?

--Flight of the Conchords: The Complete Collection comes out later this month and will contain both seasons as well as the One Night Stand Special they did on HBO back in 2005. Also promising in this are New Zealand Consulate Meetings with Murray and Greg in addition to Dave’s Pawn Shop commercials. Nice.

--Pretty surprised Brad went home before Herb who is easily the weakest of the four remaining hopefuls on Next Food Network Star. Aarti had a terrible day, but she has the only gimmick Food Network is missing. Aria and Tom are good, but their shows would make their obligatory one season run early weekend mornings and then be put out to pasture. Tom has the personality that can get him those jobs that past runner-up Adam Gertler keeps getting. Tom would be much better on Extreme Sweets or whatever it is Adam Gertler is hosting now.

--Slam had a feature on Steve Francis a couple of months ago that I missed, but they brought it back up with rumors about Steve and the Heat. Whatever. Anyway, back to the article I can understand wanting to ensure his family will be taken care of financially. What I don’t understand is his talking about being the best player out of D.C. since Len Bias and saying Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley can’t say that. Huh? First of all Kevin Durant blows him out of the water and already has been to the postseason more than Steve has. Second of all why are you hanging your hat on that? I understand being the best out of D.C. is a big deal, but isn’t it said in wistful tones because you never rose as high as people expected? And then you make statements like this after being brought back to the Rockets in 2007:
“They ain’t start me [and] that rubbed me the wrong way. I’m playing behind a guy that wasn’t drafted – Skip To My Lou. You can’t put a three-time All-Star on your bench. So [I decided] if I’m getting x-amount of dollars, I’ma fall back and just get my money for my kids.”
Nice attitude. The Rockets don’t start you so instead of fighting and trying to earn minutes let’s just fall back and get paid. Steve ended up in some bad situations in New York and Memphis, but it sounds like he didn’t care as long as he was getting paid. And that’s fine, but it seems odd that in the next breath he’ll pump himself up and convey a feeling of entitlement because he had a brief run of basketball glory.

Cuttino is that really you back in '92?

--Haven’t watched, but do know Mrs. Ari Gold is supposed to particularly look good this week. Did not know she was once in Red Shoe Diaries.

--I think the most consistently best part of Childrens Hospital on Adult Swim is Rob Corddry’s little thank you speech/story time at the end of each episode.


--Louie has been picked up for a second season and that’s a good thing.

Lou-ieeeeeeeeeeee. Lou-ahhhhhhhhh.

--Snooki arrested for public drunkenness?! That doesn’t sound right. Neither does “Jesus Shore” which was a concert in Seaside Heights where Jersey Shore is filmed. Yeah, good luck with that.

--Kristin Chenoweth to get her own musical series?! Oh hell yeah.

--You can add Stacy Keibler to Chuck’s always growing list of guest stars next season. I’m surprised Stacy hasn’t been on before.

The Nitro Girls, that's a blast from the past.

--Drudge Report headline I have zero desire of clicking on: “Woman Sprayed with Human Semen at Grocery Store”

Questions, comments or if you were wondering what took so long for Justin Beiber to announce he’s writing his memoir…